Tool is a Stealth Parody

(I could have put this in Music, but decided to put it here instead.)

tool is a massive Stealth Parody of prog rock bands. Their fans know this, so they act like the most pretentious fanbase of all time as part of the act.

Are Tool actually progressive? I haven't heard enough to be sure they aren't just yet another overblown metal band that pretends to sound like King Crimson.

Are Tool actually progressive?

Well, yeah, I would call them so. Their later stuff is more prog-like, though. They also have a notable tendency for wankery in their songs (though it's less flashy than Dream Theater).

EDIT: Also, some of the tracks on their albums are... well, they wouldn't come from anything but a prog band, I'll just leave it at that. ("Cesaro Summability" - search it on You Tube)

edited 14th Dec '09 3:50:40 AM by Lordnecronus

They embody True Art Is Incomprehensible, for one.

But what about A Perfect Circle?

A Perfect Circle are actually Tool in disguise. Except Maynard is a woman in APC.

Except Maynard is a woman in APC.

I've heard that before somewhere...

"Cesaro Summability" was really weird. Maybe they are prog after all.

I'm one of those people who gets annoyed when people mistake Radiohead for a prog band, so perhaps my definition is stricter than most people's.

Hm, Radiohead, that reminds me...

Tool and Radiohead are actually working together to set their obnoxious fanbases against each-other. Once the Tool fans and the Radiohead fans finally decide to fight each-other, they will start World War 3, which will result in Tool and Radiohead becoming the rulers of the post-apocalyptic aftermath world once all the other bands and their fanbases are dead.

edited 14th Dec '09 4:05:01 AM by Lordnecronus

Kings Thom and Maynard are pleased with your reveal.

Now wait as their guards escort you to Room 101.

Where does the Muse fanbase come into this?

They're the Red Shirts, of course

Muse fans are the resistance. Matt Bellamy is of course their leader, and he was the one who informed me of the Tool/Radiohead conspiracy.

edited 14th Dec '09 5:16:24 AM by Lordnecronus

I've come to hate Tool for being so damn pretentious (although I love how the band comes together in their music, especially the more instrumental stuff like Triad; I just hate a lot of their True Art is Incomprehensible stuff). Now that you bring it up I'm worried that Manyard has played up a fake pretentiousness to help this parody illusion.

God. Damnit.

EDIT: Never mind, WMG. But it's damn plausible, if you take Manyard's avoidance of a quote unquote "rockstar lifestyle" or whatever to avoid getting his kids involved or whatever.

edited 14th Dec '09 11:48:41 AM by Barcode711

Tool may not be a stealth parody just because Maynard keeps his private life on the down-low. That's like saying Meryl Streep is discreet about her life so she MUST be a stealth parody of an actress. Or whatever. Analogy Backfire, maybe? xD

Anywayy

In all seriousness, take a look at Maynard's solo project Puscifer. Good sound, utterly obscene lyrical content for the most part. And a lot of Tool songs can be taken very sexually. Hmm...could Maynard be metaphorically slapping us in the face with his dick?

Either way, Tool makes some amazing music.

"Hmm...could Maynard be metaphorically slapping us in the face with his dick?"

valbinoo, have you ever heard a song of theirs called Maynard's Dick?

Actually, yeah. xD

I've got it!

Maynard uses his dick to control Tool's fanbase, since his dick is psychic or something. When the Tool fans and the Radiohead fans finally decide to battle each-other (Radiohead's fanbase being controlled not by Thom Yorke's dick but by Colin Greenwood's), Maynard transforms his dick into an Eldritch Abomination which destroys everything in the world.

Everything makes sense now.

edited 17th Dec '09 4:31:07 PM by valbinooo

Maynard's penis being an Eldritch Abomination is the best theory I have ever heard. EVER.

And yeah, I can see Tool being a Stealth Parody.

Wait, how can Maynard be a woman in APC? He's the lead singer!

By the way, I'm a Tool fan and I don't act that way. They must be a parody that also makes very good songs.

edited 22nd Aug '10 3:24:31 PM by mcb01932

Hm...what's another name for dick? A TOOL! And who makes these albums? TOOL! MAYNARD IS MAKING PEOPLE GO OUT AND BUY CDS MADE BY HIS DICK!!!!

He'll make you ride a mile six inches at a time on it.

I may be the only casual Tool fan alive.

There are, in fact, two of us.

I interpret Tool's lyrics as essentially "art is ultimately meaningless and only has the value we project on it. This is all bullshit, but I'm using the obnoxious fanbase to juxtapose my actual stance, illustrating exactly how far subjectivity stretches."

Something like that.

Are Tool actually progressive? I haven't heard enough to be sure they aren't just yet another overblown metal band that pretends to sound like King Crimson.

That’s my take on them pretty much. I’m a pretty big prog fan, but I found Tool to be absolutely impossible to take; kind of like Korn with Berklee degrees and the artistic pretentions to go along with them. Mind you, I’m seriously old-school in my prog fandom and generally don’t care for metal mixed in with my prog.