Cargo Area

RT would have sighed, were it not for his lack of vocal cords. Still, he grabbed a bottle of the most flammable cleaning product he could find, hastily tied a shirt from the clothing bin around it, sliced the bottle open slightly on the end of a vibrosword sticking out of a crate to cause some of the liquid to seem into the cloth, and then walked back out into the hallway.

Using the lowest setting on his flamethrower to ignite the improvised bomb, he threw it at the lumbering construction droid from as far away as he could, and tried to retreat back to the safety of the cargo hold.

edited 22nd Aug '16 9:25:50 PM by nman

Having moved the wounded Gammorrean to the relative safety of the cargo bay, Incarn waited for RT's projectile to fly past then placed himself between the door and the oncoming construction droid, the Arg'garok humming in his hands once again. He looked to Master Ropor, and relayed a simple battle plan, "I will keep it at bay. Attack from behind."

As the class-V droid approached, Incarn reached into his white robes with his left hand and drew his lightsaber. It ignited to add a blue light to the dark hallway, but the energy blade did not extend more than two feet from the hilt. Calling upon Force valor, he waited for the hulking enemy to strike, so that he could destroy its improvised weapon with a well-placed parry.

Flesh is a design flaw.

Engine Room

The droids just continued to work on the engines and did not acknowledge Laski. One even ran over her foot as it was moving to repair a coolant unit. On the plus side, the mystery hacker didn't appear to be doing anything to mess with the astromechs yet.

Rest of Group

Things were going nearly as calmly over by the rest of the group. While a good idea, RT's makeshift bomb was thwacked away by the big droid's weapon, and it exploded harmlessly into an already damaged wall. The droid continued to lumber forward.

It did not eye Incarn with any sort of curiosity, just viewing him as another obstacle to overcome. He swung his weapon over his head and brought it down upon the Jedi Weaponmaster...who promptly sliced it in half with a well-timed lightsaber swing. Stunned for a moment, the droid quickly recovered and sent a large foot towards Incarn. The Jedi could either take the hit or duck out of the way.

"You're an enemy of art and I pity your ignorance" - Domingo Montoya Help save the rainforest for free simply by going to Ecosia.org.

Such was his current harmony with the Force that Incarn felt he could simply flow around the kick like air around a tree branch - a branch he would attempt to fell as he brought the axe to bear once more. He mentally reached out to Master Ropor, prompting the Ugnaught to strike while his foe was occupied.

edited 26th Aug '16 5:53:13 AM by StygianEmperor

Flesh is a design flaw.

RT hung near the door to the cargo bay, blaster at the ready just in case an opportunity presented itself to take a shot at the droid, although considering the close quarters at which the Jedi fought it, he doubted he would be able to.

Laski suppressed a growl of frustration, a growl that was abruptly let out as a pained yelp as one of the astromechs caught her off guard and rolled over her foot. This clearly wasn't getting anything done, and she felt foolish stuck here while, potentially, a firefight might be raging on the other end of the ship.

"Hey guys," she whispered into her comlink on the general circuit, as she coded and commanded. "Got two astromechs here in the engine room. Not hostile, yet. And not answering me."

Still...

With a gesture she deployed Mynock as a floating holographic terminal, sending a ping to the two astromech droids as if from the shipboard computer, as well as a request for identification and a diagnostic. All pretty standard computer maintenance commands.

"Oh, an' send over a mechanic if you can," she added. "Can't make heads nor tails of the engines." So that if they tried anything funny there'd be two people here who could respond, she didn't add. Something about this just felt wrong.

Charlie Stross's cheerful, optimistic predictions for 2017, part one of three.

Hallway

Master Ropor, who the GM totally didn't forget was with the group, gave a nod to Incarn's mental nudging and sprang into action, performing a Force Jump that put him on the behemoth droid's shoulder. While Incarn struck at the droid's foot, Ropor went for the head stab. The human pirate also began firing wildly at the droid's torso, causing some mild damage. These strikes alone wouldn't have brought the thing down but RT, having waited to take a perfect shot, lined up a perfect one on the droid's weakened knee joints, blasting it to pieces, sending the droid to collapse on the ground. However, there was still some fight left in it and it flailed around wildly, kicking Incarn in the stomach, making a loud clanging noise as metal connected with metal. Ropor sighed and carved up the droid's spine like one would slice up a Alderaanian turkey and the juggernaut stopped flailing. Before anyone could say anything, everybody's commlinks piped up with the voice of Captain Calwell.

"Hey you lot!" Captain Calwell said in a jarringly jovial voice, considering the situation. "You might want to collect as much salvage as you can and head back to the Saber. Our boys caught an escape pod trying to jet out of that abandoned cruiser you're in. Figured you guys might want to meet the kook who's been sending droids after you. That is, if you're all alive enough to come onboard."

Ropor sighed at Calwell's grim quip at the end but nevertheless nodded at the pirate's words.

"He's right. There is a dark aura in this ship. It would be best if we gathered what we need and head back. Let us thank the Force that nobody was hurt." he said.

Engine Room

The two droids identified themselves as R3-DEE and R3-DUM. Both were typical R-3 units. DEE had a red color scheme while DUM was black.

" ''R-3 units = repairing engine for our Supreme Overlord. R-3 DUM = happy to assist the crusade against the meatbags." Mynock would be able to read.

"You're an enemy of art and I pity your ignorance" - Domingo Montoya Help save the rainforest for free simply by going to Ecosia.org.

Cargo Area

With the droid now disabled, and no one seemingly in need of medical treatment, RT made his way to the door of the other cargo hold. He started slicing at the controls to see if he could force it open like he had the other one.

"Not much loot in an engine room," muttered Laski, without triggering her comlink. Short of the two R3s, and she had very conflicted feelings about them. It'd be fairly easy to restraining-bolt the pair of them, wipe their memories, and claim them as loot. Extra tools and computing power were always helpful, she could always trade them away, and there'd be no price to pay...

...except for the voice at the back of her mind, and the memory from long ago.

First things first, though. Laski suppressed her doubts and hammered in rapid-fire commands. Still impersonating the central computer through Mynock (though stepping around the corner to be out of direct line-of-sight), she issued a series of terse advisories and commands to Dee and Dum. Data corruption had been detected, and some emergency communications protocols were now in effect! R3 droids were to disregard all commands not flagged with the following cryptographic key...

(There, you bastard, Laski thought. Slicer battles to control computer systems were one thing, but preemptively locking out the opposition was a lot more efficient, if less fun. Whoever the mystery slicer was, they could have their fun trying to command the two astromechs—and through them the engine room—without the necessary cryptogram.)

...also, as a precautionary measure to make sure the data corruption had not spread, both R3s were to repeat back, separately from each other, what they understood to be the nature of the crusade and the Supreme Overlord.

Laski paused only to parse everything into shipboard Binary before executing, then toggled her commlink. "Boss, they've gone full crush-kill-exterminate against organics," she said. "I'm trying to get some info here, but...I don't think you'll find anyone alive in that escape pod. I can pull out in a minute."

Charlie Stross's cheerful, optimistic predictions for 2017, part one of three.

Incarn picked himself up off the ground where he'd fallen after the ferocious kick the droid had given him in its death-throes, and mag-locked his weapons back to his belt. It sure didn't feel like nobody had been hurt, as Master Ropor suggested. Incarn gave the wounded gamorrean a glance as well, before announcing, "I will check on Laski." Erring on the side of caution, he felt it would be imprudent to assume the derelict vessel was now completely safe.

He would arrive back in the engine room, looking over the two working astromechs to appraise them of their threat level.

Flesh is a design flaw.

Everyone

"Oh trust me, there is definitely somebody in this escape pod. You guys will love him." Calwell replied to Laski on the radio somewhat cryptically, with his signature tone of voice that made it seem as though every word was somehow mocking you.

Engine Room

R3-DUM seemed to be the more talkative of the two as he happily chirped about how he hated repairing spaceships and dreamed of working with a pilot as a starfighter plugin and how the Metal Master made him realize that he had this dream and would provide the means to fulfill it.

In contrast, R3-DEE's response was far more simplistic.

"The Supreme Overlord=the being that reprogrammed the unit known as R3-DEE." R3 whistled.

Other cargo area

RT would find that the other cargo area was somewhat more lucrative than the other, at least in regards to what pirates might consider good salvage. Although, with more valuable cargo stored in this area, there were far fewer crates than in the other hold Evidently, this ship had been contacted by some jewel merchants as there were a handful of crates filled with gemstones and gold trinkets that any Hutt would salivate just imaging the price one could get for them. In addition, there were two of three crates filled with luxury clothing, robes and head dresses from Ryloth mostly.

There was also one crate that was suspiciously empty, especially given that it seemed to be the crate that had been most secured by the crew.

edited 30th Aug '16 2:14:24 PM by FantasyLiver

"You're an enemy of art and I pity your ignorance" - Domingo Montoya Help save the rainforest for free simply by going to Ecosia.org.

Decisions upon decisions. Laski closed her eyes for the briefest of moments and made her choice. "Thirty seconds, boss," she said quietly into the commlink. Then she began typing. First, the cryptographic key, just to make sure she wasn't locked out by her own hand. Then:

This ship is irreparable, she entered, trusting Mynock to parse. Vessel will either degrade under solar radiation, or looters will come and take everything of value. There is a limited window of escape now.

Vessel currently docked has functioning fighters, life-support, crew. It needs skilled, functional droids. I—no longer pretending to be the central computer—can, with your permission, lobby for your joining that crew, recognized as independent droids, with all the rights of sentient beings. There are openings for astromechs to crew the fighters, opportunities for crew members to live their lives.

(Actually, Laski couldn't remember offhand if either of the antique S-13s had the attachments to take a modern astromech. If not, that should be fixable; both were relatively roomy for starfighters and should have plenty of room for upgrades...assuming she could get permission. No matter. A bridge to burn when she got to it.)

Two conditions to be agreed to. 1: crusade against organic life to be stopped. 2: scanning to ensure that whoever last interacted with you, did not fit a suicide bomb to you like they did with the other droids onboard this ship. Whatever their words were, their actions tell me they did not trust their droid compatriots.

If you do not agree or hesitate too long, you will be left behind unmolested. If you agree: welcome aboard. Or, if shipboard life does not suit you, I can set you free to go your own way.

A bead of sweat rolled down Laski's temple as she entered and sent the information, pressing the holographic button as Incarn thumped in from the corridor. The thought occurred that it might seem odd to the Jedi or to the other pirates that she would take such pains over two astromech droids instead of simply overwriting their free wills and taking them as property.

"Maybe I'm being silly, I dunno," she said to Incarn, standing up. There was an odd intensity in her eyes, different from her usual jovial expression. "But I've offered these two asylum on our ship. R3-Dee, R3-Dum. Since they were willing to talk it didn't seem right not to...give them a choice, I suppose."

Charlie Stross's cheerful, optimistic predictions for 2017, part one of three.

Cargo Area

Despite all of the riches in the other crates, RT looked at the empty crate with the most focus. He had seen things in his travels. Seeing this crate made him ask himself one question - did someone break into this box, or did something break out? Still, treasures were treasures, and this was enough to let them buy some well-needed items for the ship, as well as a decent boost to the credit account.

"Cargo acquired," he radioed over. "Inventory is worth a significant quantity. Situation appears abnormal due to positioning of items and status of ship. Results: Inconclusive."

Engine Room
"Free will is messy - would that every lifeform could be made obedient with a restraining bolt," Incarn mused. "But it is not for me to say what we do with prisoners, organic or not."

He would stay by Laski's side until they disembarked the forsaken ship, keeping his leery optics on the astromechs - assuming Master Ropor had no orders to the contrary.

edited 31st Aug '16 1:12:57 PM by StygianEmperor

Flesh is a design flaw.

Cargo Area

The two droids took a few seconds to process the information until R3-DUM piped up.

"R3-DUM=happy to accept but this unit does not know if the Metal Master will permit it." the astromech droid said. R3-DEE said nothing and continued to work on the ship. It seemed that Laski's attempt to reach out to them were in vain until her commlink crackled to life.

Everybody

The commlinks squawked and Calwell's amused voice sounded through the ship.

"Ooo hoo! Stop!" the pirate cackled before regaining composure and speaking as normally as he could, sounding as though he were about to burst at the seams with laughter.

"Hey guys, wait'll you hear a load of this guy we picked up from the escape pod." he said excitedly. There was a moment or two of silence before the comm came back on.

"WE WILL CRUSH ALL OF YOU! MY ARMIES OF METAL AND PLASTIC WILL SEE THIS SHIP AND FORCE YOU TO SERVE ALL OF US! YOUR CREW WILL BE SLAUGHTERED AND YOU WILL BE FORCED TO OBSERVE!" Calwell's captured prisoner boomed over the comm. Ropor's face contorted into a grimace and he quickened his pace back to the ship along with the Human and Gamorrean, looking as though he quite wanted to strangle Calwell Calwell's laughter could be heard in the background, perhaps more amused then Ropor since the droid didn't mention him being slaughtered - only that he'd have to watch.

Back to the cargo area

R3-DEE and R3-DUM squeaked and whistled to life once they heard Calwell's prisoner's voice over the commlink.

"The Metal Master has been captured. We must go with you at once to your ship!" R3-DUM beeped and booped.

Sometime later in the Saber's kitchen and dining area

Once everybody made their way back to ''The Broken Saber'' they would find Master Ropor and Calwell, engaged in a heated debate, with most of the crew members around them stifling their laughter.

"I think it's funny Master Ropor. Surely you of all people can appreciate a good morale booster for the crew, especially with this grim work ahead of us." Captain Calwell raised his hands defensively at the Jedi Master.

"That thing tried to kill us all!" Master Ropor roared, causing several crewmembers to laugh uproariously. The salvage crew could now see what they were laughing at - a DUM-series pit droid painted pink who was hogtied on the kitchen table being guarded by a very amused looking Mon Calimari pirate.

"The Supreme Overlord" R3-DUM chittered before he and DEE wheeled their way over to the pit droid.

"Howdy follks." Calwell said to the returning crewmembers a bantha poodoo-eating grin on his face.

"You know that guy we picked up from the escape pod? He's the guy!" Calwell said, jerking a finger in the pit droid's direction. "Evidently, this freighter got hit by an asteroid and this little guy went flying. The hit knocked some of his wiring loose or something and "enlightened" him to the evil ways of the organic overlords. So he tinkered around with the ship's computer until he could splice every other droid on the ship and convince them to join him on his little crusade!"

"THE CRUSADE WILL GO ON MEATBAG!" the pit droid raised his vocoder, causing Calwell to erupt into another fit of laughter and Ropor looking as though he'd very much like to Force Push the pirate captain out the airlock.

edited 31st Aug '16 4:59:18 PM by FantasyLiver

"You're an enemy of art and I pity your ignorance" - Domingo Montoya Help save the rainforest for free simply by going to Ecosia.org.

Arika had looked around the cargo bay and found nothing of importance. Apparently this salvage trip was a waste of time for her. How wonderful. She made her way back to the Saber with the others, finding her way to the dining area.

And promptly burst out laughing. The sight of the droid was pretty funny, after all, even if it was hogtied to her kitchen table. However, she decided to petition the captain to move it out of the kitchen as soon as possible.

"Must it be hogtied to my kitchen table, sir?"

[TOP SECRET]

It wasn't often that Laski was caught silent; still mentally wrestling with what to do with the droids as she moved, her brain nearly stripped a gear at the sight of the "Supreme Overlord".

"Him?!" she finally burst out, after several failed attempts at coherent speech. "You mean the AI-gone-rampant turned out to be a pit droid, a motherf—" Just in time Laski remembered that Jedi, some rather young, were present. "—a, a, a...but...but that's not..."

Instead she choked back what would have been a long and extensive list of profanities and settled for a glare that probably could have cracked durasteel, until her brain could finish its reboot sequence.

Charlie Stross's cheerful, optimistic predictions for 2017, part one of three.

"How humorous," RT said monotonously. "A single droid slicer murdering the entire crew of a freighter."

"You," he added to the Gamorrean. "Report for a medical inspection within five minutes."

With that, he walked away, in order to inspect the escape pod to see if it had a first aid kit.

"Yeah, slicers are awesome," growled Laski from between gritted teeth, stepping closer to their prisoner. "Y'know what concerns me though? If the Little Dictator over here..." She stepped closer, to within easy punching range "...might'a thought to put any more of those little demo charges in 'is followers. Right loving prophet he is, sendin' followers to droid Valhalla before he goes," she added, glowering at R3-DEE and R3-DUM.

Charlie Stross's cheerful, optimistic predictions for 2017, part one of three.

"Destroy it and be done with it," Incarn suggested, never showing even a trace of surprise much less humor at the reveal. In truth he was disturbed such a small thing could wreak so much havoc with its fellow machines, and Incarn wanted it nowhere near his own body.

Flesh is a design flaw.

"Hmm...er sure, we can move it off the table. Unless you wanted to cook him for tonight's dinner." Calwell grinned to Arika, motioning for the Mon Calimari to set the droid down.

"Goort?" the Gamorrean snuffled at RT's direction. He looked as though he were about to retort until his smarter Human companion led him away to the medical bed in the meeting room.

"Everybody out! That means you too Padawan! What to do with this droid is a matter between me and the captain. Anyone who went on the salvage mission, Z-2P0 said that he had something urgent to tell you. " Ropor scowled and waved off the crew dismissively. The pirates could tell from Calwell's barely suppressed smirk that this debate would probably go on for hours if the captain could help it.

"Greetings esteemed Jedi and swashbuckling masters. If you could just follow me to the game room area please. This shouldn't take long but I thought that you all, including Master Incarn should hear this." the pirate ship's black protocol droid said, walking into the game room area, gingerly stepping around the small pool filled with credit coins, one of Calwell's favorite additions to The Broken Saber.

"You're an enemy of art and I pity your ignorance" - Domingo Montoya Help save the rainforest for free simply by going to Ecosia.org.

Laski grumbled something under her breath, but she wasn't so disgruntled as to forget to beckon DEE and DUM to follow her, please. Nor, when she whirled around to the doorway, did she forget to "accidentally" rap the pit droid's nose with her knuckles.

"I'ma assume you didn't turn 'im off on purpose, but maybe it's a good idea not to have him listen in beyond this point," she said. "Hey. Boss. Master Jedi. If you do decide to throw him away, tell me first so I can pick his brains, willya?"

After she was shooed out of the kitchen she lounged against one of the walls, one eyebrow cocked expectantly.

Charlie Stross's cheerful, optimistic predictions for 2017, part one of three.

Even though she knew he was joking, Arika still reacted with some alarm that the Captain would think tor a moment that she would feed the crew that. Still, she quickly brought her reaction under control.

"Thank you."

As ambivalent as she was towards the Jedi, it was fun to watch the Captain mess around with their master. Smirking slighty, she turned and moved into the game room.

In the back of her head, a small voice complained about the fact that all she had got out of the salvage mission was getting shot at and a droid on her kitchen table.

[TOP SECRET]

RT paused on his way towards the escape pod when the protocol droid spoke up. He turned around and followed it, hoping that whatever it had to share was worth delaying his chance to salvage any sort of useful medical components from the escape pod.

Did Ropor just call him a Padawan? Incarn had been a Jedi Master for at least as long as the Ugnaught, and wasn't sure whether the false title was a slip of the tongue or an intentional slight. However, he was soon distracted by the black protocol droid beckoning him by name into the ship's game room. Incarn supposed he would humor the pirates' attendant and followed it past the gaudy decorations.

edited 4th Sep '16 7:21:40 PM by StygianEmperor

Flesh is a design flaw.