Ready, Aim, Fire!

Oh dagflabbit. Good luck to the remaining 5!

Dammit I knew I shoulda shot c0mraid instead.

Ah well, good luck guys!

edited 3rd Nov '14 8:00:40 PM by bRaHiAn1

-whew- Lucky stuff, there.

The aggression of Commander Surt didn't stop after the latest incident. Rather, he became more vigilant about ensuring that no one threatened his position on Planet. He looked around for the next threatening target.

The answer came to him when the drones started rioting at one of his bases.

"Ah! I know who's stirring this up! It's that wretched Foreman Hobo Tortle! Him and his activists, trying to disrupt order with ranting about 'classism'."

He quickly picked up his commlink and contacted the Foreman.

"I, Commander of the 463 Raiders, order you to stop agitating."

"Oh, Commander, eh, very nice," replied The Hobo Tortle. "And how do you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society. If there's ever going to be any progress-"

"Foreman, there's some lovely fungus down here!" came a woman's voice from somewhere behind the Foreman.

Surt groaned. "Stop quoting Monty Python before I declare Vendetta and raze your entire faction to the ground."

"Ah! Now we see the violence inherent in the-"

Surt cut the communication and ordered his troops to attack. The Drones hadn't been able to develop good weapon technologies, and mostly defended themselves with either crude firearms (whose shots bounced harmlessly off the Raiders' armour) or cries of "Help, help, I'm being repressed!" It wasn't long before Free Drone Central fell and the Foreman was put to death by beheading.

...

Sir NES began to question the policies of his faction.

"Why do we keep these Mind Worms? Why do we force them to fight for us? Are we trying to live in harmony with Planet, or are we trying to master it? My word, are we just as bad as the others?"

Immediately, he commanded that all indigenous life forms under Gaian control be released into the wild so they could live in peace. A short time later, Gaia's Landing was torn apart by the rampaging Mind Worm boils just released.

The Gaian leader's last words were, "Maybe that wasn't such a good idea..."

Actions taken:

• Brother C0mraid - Shoot air
• Commisioner Makeyejr - Shoot air
• Sir NES Gamer - Shoot self
• Commander Surt - Shoot The Hobo Tortle
• Foreman Hobo Tortle - Shoot air

Eliminations:

• Foreman Hobo Tortle (Free Drones)
• Sir NES Gamer (Gaia's Stepchildren)

Remaining players:

• Brother C0mraid (Lord's Believers)
• Commisioner Makeyejr (Peacekeeping Forces)
• Commander Surt (463 Raiders)

Round 4 begins now. Eternity lies ahead of us and beyond. Have you drunk your fill?

edited 4th Nov '14 7:55:56 PM by NineTailedCat

Hmm... Well then... That's very interesting...

It was actually more of a gut feeling for me, though I can't speak for the other two.

edited 4th Nov '14 11:13:42 PM by Surt

Ah, nuts... seems like I hoist myself... I'm a little surprised I did not get shot at that round. Am I actually low profile enough to have some sort of inherent "not-get-shot" thing?

Brother C0mraid was peacefully praying for guidance from the Almighty. Several times recently, he had heard a voice in his dreams trying to speak to him, and he was sure it was the voice of God. All he had to do was listen and it would tell him how to act.

However, his prayers were interrupted by Surt contacting him over the commlink.

"Ah, the legendary Commander Surt! what can me and my devout followers do for you?" asked C0mraid.

"To start with, you can die, you bible-thumping lunatics!"

"Wait! Have you not heard the messages of the Lord?"

Before he could do any preaching, the communication ended and Raider forces moved in. Despite the Believers' fiery passion, they did not make an effort to fight back - they did take their Saviour's messages about loving one's neighbour to heart, after all. Soon, C0mraid's Hope was burned to the ground, and C0mraid himself was drowned by mocking Raider sailors who "wanted to see him walk on water".

Meanwhile, Commisioner Makeyejr sifted through mounds of documents, trying to figure out which ones were important and which ones he could leave aside for another few months. One of the downsides of doing everything according to UN standards was the sheer amount of paperwork.

Eventually, he retrieved a file about the other factions' recent activities and became quite alarmed.

"What in the... Three times? He attacked and slaughtered other Unity crew members three times? We're supposed to work together in accordance with the Charter! One violation is bad enough, but... He did it again? This will not stand. I'm putting a stop to this here and now."

As soon as the orders were received, the Peacekeeper armies were on the move. Unlike the battle-weary Raider troops, Makeyejr's soldiers had been able to train and build weaponry in relative safety, rather than losing troops in endless war, and now possessed high-tech chaos guns and heavily-trained Mind Worm handlers capable of ripping right through the Raider lines. Soon, the 463 Raiders' reign of terror on Planet was brought to an end, and their Commander was filed away in a cell until his execution arrangements could make their way through the Peacekeeper bureaucracy.

...

Once the battle was over, Commisioner Makeyejr decided to hold an election for Supreme Leader of Planet. He won unanimously, mostly on account of all rivals being in no state to run against him.

And so it came to pass that humanitarianism (No, not that kind) and pacifism (at least, almost pacifism) triumphed. With the wars resolved, humanity could once again work as a united species, surviving on this distant world. The only threat was an awakening "Planetmind", but under Makeyejr's leadership, they were sure they could find a solution.

Eventually, some of the colonists sent a ship back to Earth to discover its fate. There, they learned that the entire population had indeed been wiped out, mostly by epidemic diseases caused by inadequate telephone sanitation. The survivors of the Unity project were the last of humanity, and it was up to them to rebuild. However, without the conflicts that had held them back for so long, nothing stood in their way. Humanity would rise to glory once again.

Actions taken:

• Brother C0mraid - Shoot air
• Commisioner Makeyejr - Shoot Surt
• Commander Surt - Shoot C0mraid

Eliminations:

• Brother C0mraid (Lord's Believers)
• Commander Surt (463 Raiders)

Remaining players:

• Commisioner Makeyejr (Peacekeeping Forces)

Commisioner Makeyejr of the Peacekeepers has achieved Diplomatic Victory (technically Conquest Victory, but that doesn't really matter)! Good work, Makeyejr, and thank you all for participating.

Good game! I'm in for another round.

Holy crap, someone actually won?

I'm in for next round.

Congratulations Makeye!

In for the next one!

Count me in, yet again.

Up for next round, folks.

Also up for next round.

Good game. Nuts. I'll have another, I suppose.

I'll go again.

ME

So who's hosting this time? I could do it again, but I'd rather other people got their chances too.

I guess I could host...?

I mean, since no one's offering :U

Looks like it. Besides, something tells me you'd be a good host.

Maybe you can come up with a Homestuck theme?

How did u know.

Alright, I've been pretty busy all day and haven't gotten back to my computer until now. So, before we start this thing, I need you guys to specify two things:

1. The kind abstrata allocated to your strife specibus. (English translation: Your weapon of choice). Almost anything can be weaponized in this game. Homestuck characters have been known to use things like needles, canes, dice, umbrellas, bunnies, and even fancy santas to lay waste to their enemies. So be creative!

2. Your classpect. Every player has a classpect, as they are an integral part of the game. If you don't know enough about Homestuck to figure out yours, I shall assign you one based on what I know of you and your personality. (Or you can choose from the lists of classes and aspects here). Unless we get more than 12 players, try not to double up. If you've got any original classpects in mind, feel free to use that if you wish.

Oh also, optional: The name of your personal world assigned to you by the game. (Template: Land of _____ and _____.)

Now that that's out of the way, the player list!

• Makeyejr
• Zero Dark Flirty
• Ichigo Pocky Chama
• The Hobo Tortle; strife specibus: lanyardkind; Land of Hooks and Slush (LOHAS)
• Nine Tailed Cat, Rogue of Mind; strife specibus: tribblekind; Land of Fish and Chips (LOFAC)
• Earl of Sandvich
• Surt, Mage of Blood; strife specibus: linekind
• Jondanger
• (bRaHiAn1, Seer of Doom; strife specibus: keykind)

edited 10th Nov '14 11:09:28 AM by Brahian1

Linekind (Wires, sticks, blah blah blah)

Mage of Blood, I guess.

I guess I'll be a Rogue of Mind. My weapon of choice will be tribblekind, and my world will be the Land of Fish and Chips.

I'll play. I call Seer of Void, wielding just my red and black tophat.

My world shall be the Land of Stuff and Things.

My classpect will be Prince of Void, my strife specibus will be shovelkind, and my land will be Land of Puzzles and Pits.