Poilce Cops: A Slightly Absurd Police Procedural RPG

Discussion Thread

Nestled in the mountains of the Illinois Prefecture of Japan, lies the city of Santa Petersburg. On the outside, a bustling town, ever growing and prospering, with friendly people and a pleasant atmosphere. But underneath that lies a terrifying criminal underworld.

Illegal dance clubs run rampant, cutthroat farmers do whatever it takes to stay ahead of their competition, nerdy assassins who are willing to murder for first print comics and figurines wait for their marks, and various criminal organizations arrive each day for a chance to take a piece of that pie. Literally if you include the black market bakeries.

Some members of the Prefectural Government believe the city is a lost cause. Others say the military needs to take over and clean it up the hard way. Police across the nation speak in whispers about it, terrified of even stepping foot in the city. But for the elite men and women of the 78th Precinct of the Santa Petersburg Constabulary Service, it's just an average day in the life of...

Police Cops

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Police Cops is a really rules light RPG that's pretty easy to pick up. There's dice and stats, but it's not to hard to work with and it's easy to figure out and keep track of. The premise is that you are a member of a police department in a TV show: You solve crimes, help old ladies cross the street, and run through fruit stands during chases. Since we're trying to be like a tv show, you won't be just spending the entire RP on just one case, but rather four of five different, but slightly related cases, leading up to a "Season Finale" type deal where things come to a head and bunch of questions are answered and new questions arise, leading to a new season and doing it all again.

The name of the game is Creativity, with an emphasis on being cool (or at least action movie cool). Are you a action hero who jumps through the air guns blazing with no regard for paper work? Or are you a cool detective who uses their various connections to catch their man? Perhaps you are just a lab tech who's getting their first taste of the field? You could even be a meter maid who lives life on the edge. Hell, you could even be a blob of slime that wears a police hat that no one questions the existence of because you are that damn good at your job. I dunno, you tell me. And once you chose, how will you investigate? Maybe talk to some witnesses? Head to the lab and do some tests? Chase some possible suspects? Hit up contacts and moles to get a closer look? Who knows, it's up to you. And at anytime in the game you can stop and chat with other characters. Never be afraid to interact and learn about each other. Perhaps the action hero is actually a huge softy. Maybe the lab tech is more experienced than you thought. And maybe, just maybe, the slime is just looking for that special someone.

The basics of how this is going to work is that each "episode" is going to broken up into 4 parts: The Briefing, The Investigation, The Arrest, and The Wrap Up. The Briefing is where the episode starts, either with a briefing from the Chief, or at the scene doing preliminary investigation to set up for the plot of the episode. Usually here you'll find out what you need to know where to go during the next phase, The Investigation. Once you're here, you go and gather clues and evidence to figure out what's going on. You (and your partner if you have one) are free to choose how you go about it, with me here to supply answers no matter what you do (within what little reason we have here, of course). Hit the lab, interview witnesses, interrogate suspects, whatever. During The Arrest, you hunt down your suspect with the evidence you have. Raid his house, catch him at the airport, chase him in your vehicles, have a fight scene with him and his goons, whatever looks coolest and fits, it will happen. And The Wrap Up basically wraps up the plot of the episode, and let's you set yourself for the next episode.

Rolls and stats come into play during certain portions of the game. While just getting information from a cooperating witness and snatching a fleeing suspect who's out of shape won't need rolls, combat and getting more important and vital info about the case requires knowing your stats, bonuses and penalties. How rolls work is that you describe what you're going to do to try to resolve the scene, and each "point" you get from stats and all that fit what you described give you a die to roll, with a five or six on a die equaling a "Success". When you roll enough successes to cross the difficulty threshold for the actions (ranging from 1-10), you win and succeed. Don't make it however, and you fail, and even can get hurt and penalized for future rolls if it's bad enough, or even downed and out for the episode! Don't worry, I'll tell you when you need a roll to resolve a scene and what difficulty it is, you just need to decide what stats and bonus you'll use and I'll roll it. Everyone has three stats to use: Strong, Fast, and Smarts

• Strong is how good you are are fighting, shooting, flexing, and just generally being a big tough guy.
• Fast is how quick you are on your feet, how good your reflexes are, and how well you react to things. Also, in a fight, this determines when you act compared to everyone else
• Smart is your brains, knowing how to hack, reading suspects, figuring out crime scenes, and generally loving it when a plan comes together.

Additionally you get 3 "Skills" that add points to rolls, ranging from good(+1), better(+2), and Best(+3). But you also have 3 weaknesses that penalize you in the same range, so be careful. Additionally, if the action you describe is awesome enough, you get a bonus "Awesome Die" that adds another die toy your pool for the roll.

If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask me to elaborate on anything you are confused about. There's also a PDF made by the creator of the game that you can look at Here

And here's the sign up sheet:

• Name and Nickname if you have one
• Appearance: describe what you look like. You can be brief, but more details never hurt.
• Biography: give us your background. Is it wrought with melodrama and overangst, silly and weird, or just way too normal? Try to keep it unique, we don't need a bunch of gag characters or action heroes, try to think out of the box, even if it doesn't seem too "Cop Like".
• Stats: You get 9 points to put into the three stats I outlined up top. Don't be afraid to minmax, you can usually compesate for a weak stat by being creative. Just remember that stats cap at 5 points
• Skills: What you're good at, going from Good Better Best. Keep in general, like Marksmanship, Driving, Piloting, Paperwork, etc. If it's interesting, I'll probably allow it.
• Weaknesses: Same as above but arranged in Bad Worst Awful.
• Other Stuff: any other important stuff, like who's your partner or love interest or something else that doesn't fit the other stuff. Make sure you ask other players if you chose them to be your partner or something.

• Pblades: John J. McJohnson
• The Space Jawa: COP-BOT(!)
• Chromatic Wasp: Sam Ross
• Nman: Mendoza
• Truth Hurts 22: Hershal Burns
• Fergard Stratoavis: Misty

edited 28th Aug '14 11:45:27 PM by GIG

Interest!

/poilce cops

Well, this might be fun.

"Yup. That tasted purple."

So, key question. American-style policeman, British Coppers, or both?

Because despite being a Yank I'm a lot more familiar with British shows and spoofs thereof.

Charlie Stross's cheerful, optimistic predictions for 2017, part one of three.

This looks bizarre. Can I be a psychic detective that fights with Gun Kata?

Flesh is a design flaw.

I think from the looks of things it's a spoof of as many police tropes as possible, regardless of nationality.

edited 27th Aug '14 9:23:01 AM by Deadbeatloser22

"Yup. That tasted purple."

• Name: John J. Mc Johnson
• Appearance: An old, crotchety war vet. Pretty much this guy◊, but more blue in hue.
• Biography: John served in the hellish war of South Vietnam aggression, and he has never been the same since. Obtaining his Purple Heart during the haunting Incident in Crimea, John was honorably discharged from the Imperial Army of Japan, and now served as the Police Cops’ official anti-terrorist consultant.
• Stats:
  • Strong: 5; John is still as strong as he was in his prime, aboard the USS. Trafalgar.
  • Fast: 1; Due to a persisting knee injury after a failed hostage rescue during the flight TK 451 hijack, he has lost much of his swiftness.
  • Smart: 3; Growing up in the violent favela of Quebec, Canada, left John with little opportunity for formal schooling. Nevertheless, he distinguished himself during the War of the Roses, where famed Earl of Warwick, Richard Neville the Kingmaker, have this to say of him: “Jooooooooohhhhhnnnnn!!!”. He obtained some small amount of reputation as a strategic genius.
• Skills:
  • Explosives (S)
  • Hard-Ass (SS)
  • Endurance (SS+)
• Weaknesses:
  • Sherlock Holm Deducing (E)
  • Kiss-Ass (F)
  • Single-mindedness(F-)
• Other Stuff: He had an action figure model built after him, with Kung Fu action grip. Officer Sam Ross' minder due to his past experience as handler for the violent, exploding hounds of the Werchmarct Panzerwulf Division. Nothing else, yet.

edited 27th Aug '14 12:07:22 PM by Pblades

My God, this game sounds amazing. I'll work on a sheet (though I'm at work all day today so I won't be able to write anything before tonight/tomorrow).

Can I play as a criminal?

http://www.last.fm/user/sgtpendulum Yo, check out what I'm listening, it'll be heat, brah :^)

Against better judgement, I'll try this out and hope that it doesn't move too fast.

• Experimental Officer-001 (Official Designation); AKA XO-001; AKA COP-BOT(!)
• Appearance: A somewhat stereotypical-looking robot with a rounded design wearing a standard-issue police officers uniform.
• Biography: Designed and built as part of an experimental program designed to come up with new ways to help police the streets, COP-BOT(!) is the first of what his creators hope will be the future of law enforcement. If only they could work the bugs out and figure out that darn pesky AI problem...
• Stats:
  • Strong: 4
  • Fast: 4
  • Smart: 1
• Skills:
  • Good: Breaking Stuff - From his hidden built-in weapons systems to his metal body, COP-BOT(!) is really good at breaking stuff, whether or not its alive.
  • Better: Worldwide Database - While COP-BOT(!) may be lacking in the AI department, he at least has connecting to a vast array of information he can peruse through
  • Best: Not Dying - Being a robot, COP-BOT(!) can take a lickin' and keep on tickin'. Even slowing down or temporarily neutralizing COP-BOT(!) is not a task undertaken lightly.
• Weaknesses:
  • Bad: Delicate Tasks - If you want COP-BOT(!) to do something that requires a careful fine touch, you're either going to be waiting a while or pulling your hair out hoping he doesn't make a mess of things.
  • Worst: Exploitable Logic - COP-BOT(!) has a pesky AI system that has trouble figuring out the intricacies of more complicated human thought, allowing crafty individuals to exploit his intelligence and reasoning systems.
  • Awful: Stealth - Not only is he noisy, COP-BOT(!) is quite obviously a robot police officer with little hope of ever pulling off a convincing disguise.
• Other Stuff: COP-BOT(!) carries a small array of police-issue weapons and equipment around inside of him, allowing to (almost) always have the right tool for the job. Problem is, COP-BOT(!) is not well-known for being able to figure out what the right tool for a given job is.

edited 27th Aug '14 9:57:31 AM by TheSpaceJawa

Oh also a couple questions. I want to play a cop with a real need for speed, a real speed demon type who fills the "driver" role. Do we have generic squad cars or can I roll with like a 69 Charger?

And if we're cops, who wants to be my partner?

Considering the two current entree right now are a Senile/Time-traveling War Vet. and a Cop-bot, I rather doubt some off-regulation car makeup would too much dispel the Suspension of Disbelief.

Sorry sgtpendulum, gonna have to say no to that, mostly because keeping it one side would make it a lot more managable for me.

And Nman, having your own custom car is okay, plus the station has a number of vehicles to chose from to fit the plot as it happens.

edited 27th Aug '14 10:28:58 AM by GIG

Name: Sam Ross

Appearance: A short, thin, pale young woman. She wears her long, auburn hair in a ponytail. Her face is heavily freckled, and her eyes a dark brown.

Biography: Sam was the former mercenary Six Knives, named for the fact that she kills people using six knives. When asked why she joined the force, she said her line of work was too competitive nowadays, and that being a cop "pays better". The rest of her past is shrouded in mystery, because frankly, everyone is too scared to ask. Very few people believe she is actually Six Knives due to a common misconception that 6K is a man. Her gender-ambiguous name is a major component of this, as is the fact that very few people come face to face with her and walk away alive.

Stats

Strong: 4 Fast: 3 Smart: 2

Skills

• Cooking (she is good with knives) (Good)

• Markmanship (Better)

• Close-Ranged Combat (Best)

Weaknesses

• Temper: (Bad) Ross has a tendency to fly off the handle when aggravated, inhibiting her ability to assess a situation calmly or to use restraint in a delicate situation. This can also cause major conflict among her peers.

• Heavy Lifting: (Worst) Despite her remarkable strength and abilities in combat, Ross is a rather small woman, and her thin, bony frame doesn't help her any.

• Social Skills: (Awful) On top of her temper, Ross is also very cold, distant and serious. She doesn't talk much, and when she does, she's very awkward and stumbles over her words. She doesn't like being around others, though she finds herself in a position where she frequently is around lots of people.

Other Information

Officer Ross isn't allowed on missions without a designated overseer.

edited 28th Aug '14 5:24:33 AM by ChromaticWasp

Even if a time machine was invented, and man discovered how to live forever, not a single thing would become more convenient.

Everyone so far is accepted, but I will say we are a trending a bit hard on strong type characters.

I'll make a fast guy, someone else could make a smarts person, and that would hopefully help with the balance.

I'd like to volunteer John for Ross' default overseer, what do you say, Chromatic?

I approve of this decision.

Even if a time machine was invented, and man discovered how to live forever, not a single thing would become more convenient.

Against my better judgment, I did a signup on my phone, here's hoping I didn't muck up formatting. Also I noticed you said you didn't want too many action heroes, but I figured no one would literally make one

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• Name: Mendoza, first name not given (yet)
• Appearance: A Latino man in his late twenties of average height and an Olympic runner's build, with buzzed black hair and a perpetual 5-o-clock shadow. He wears aviator sunglasses all the time, even night.
• Biography: An action movie star from Dos Angeles (not a typo) who did his own stunts, Mendoza became a cop by accident when he stopped a fleeing serial killer/bank robber on the set of a movie, chasing the armored car down the 405 during rush hour while behind the wheel of a loaded schoolbus. Feeling that he could serve his city, and have a legal reason to leadfoot it everywhere, he retired from his theoretically-renowned acting career and went to the academy. After a few years serving the city and crashing cars, he was transfered far away.
• Stats:
  • Strong: 2
  • Fast: 5
  • Smart: 2
• Skills:
  • Good: Dancing: Mendoza's first big break was as the titular dance-instructor-turned-vigilante in the film The Flamencologist. He hasn't forgotten his training and still has a spring in his step that can drive the ladies wild.
  • Better: Parkour When the chase moves from the streets to the sidewalks and alleys, Mendoza still has what it takes to get the perps.
  • Best: Driving Mendoza is the car guy.
• Weaknesses:
  • Bad: Undercover: With a recognizable face, Mendoza has trouble concealing his identity in public. Often someone will recognize him from his films, especially fans of Both Korean cinema.
  • Worst: Riding Shotgun: Mendoza gets fidgety when someone else is driving.
  • Awful: Computers From his personal computer to his cell phone to the ATM, Mendoza just doesn't seem to get along with technology that isn't a car or a gun.
• Other Stuff:
  • Drives a sweet 1969 Dodge Charger.
  • Carries dual M1911A1 pistols.
  • I need a partner for him.

edited 27th Aug '14 1:44:28 PM by nman

Alright Nman, you're in. Probably will take 2-4 more entries before I close sign ups.

• Name: Hershal Burns
• Appearance: A well-tanned man in his middle-to-late thirties, buzz-cut brown hair, brown eyes. Wears a black vest over a brown collared shirt, with dark brown pants and, you guessed it, brown loafers. Also has on the obligatory Detective Fedora, also brown-ish in color.
• Biography: Burns grew up with little aspirations in life, simply going about his day-to-day motions and attending school with no goal in mind. At some point towards the end of his school years he developed a fondness for lawyers and certain lawyer-type games, and as such gained an impressive eye for details. Figuring that this was something he could be good at he signed up for Law School right out of highschool, before flunking at the last minute by misprinting his name on the Bar Exam. Several years and a few minutes of sorrow and being between jobs, he sought out to try to at least make something of the life he failed so hard at by aiming to be a detective like on them fancy police dramas. Which he accomplished.
• Stats:
  • Strength: 2
  • Speed 2
  • Smarts: 5
• Skills:
  • Good: Situational Awareness - Referring to suspects, witnesses, and other civilians. He is able to change his approach to people to get better responses than if he treated them the same way every time.
  • Better: Patience - Sometimes you can't rush into things, because you'll miss important facts and evidence along the way. As such, Hershal trained himself to hold his temper in most situations.
  • Best: Analytical Skill - He wouldn't be a detective if he wasn't good at spotting things that are out of place, crooked, or flat out non-existent, both at the scene and in the words of witnesses.
• Weaknesses:
  • Bad: Weapons - He doesn't carry a gun with him for a reason.
  • Worst: Driving - Along with not passing the bar, he constantly fails at passing the driving test required to get a license. As such he tends to take public transportation, and knows next to nothing about cars.
  • Awful: Caffeine Deficiency - Without enough caffeine running through him at regular intervals, he gets tired and not all there as he usually is.
• Other Stuff: Looking for a partner (possible candidate being Mendoza, trying to get Nman on the line.)

edited 27th Aug '14 7:59:53 PM by TruthHurts22

I was going to offer to have COP-BOT(!) be a partner for Nman's character, but given you've got a 'I can't drive' thing going, you might be a better a better fit.

Though, on the other hand, having a recognizable duo (a stunt man and a robot) where one of them doesn't get along with technology and the other is technology might make for some pretty fun antics, too. Even if neither of them have much in the way of smarts.

Chromatic I'm going to go ahead and say that you should change your Worst skill now that I think about it since you'll end up getting penalized for just about any combat roll. Not to mention it easily crosses over with your Awful skill.

Also just so you know, I'm keeping weaknesses in mind in planning encounters. Just throwing that out there.

edited 27th Aug '14 9:52:08 PM by GIG

I'm okay with either option. I noticed a message from Truth when I looked up on this computer's Skype, which I imagine was him asking about that. Another thing we could consider, if necessary, and if GIG is cool with it, is a tri-partnership Those three do seem to compliment each other