Help me write- SOMETHING!

Funny, I was thinking about suggesting a sea witch. Well, lemme suggest something for the baddies

• A sea witch
• A ninja made of smaller ninjas
• A super inteligent rat who secretly is a mad scientist

Yes.

It comes. The corrupter comes. Don't let it touch the tower lest all reality crumble.

Great suggestions, working on them! Meanwhile: more visuals!

Sir Alphonse: ◊

Princess Stephanie: [1]◊

Have a character turn out to be something they despised, but don't reveal the fact to that character just yet.

How about a robot dog who thinks he's Norman Bates from Psycho, only he's afraid of sharp objects, and the color red. And maybe a politician who does anonymous stand-up comedy in his spare time, only sometimes he forgets which is which.

WARNING: Eating radioactive chocolate chip cookies can cause atomic piles.

Ooooh, after this one have the guy on the computer wake up on the ship.

It comes. The corrupter comes. Don't let it touch the tower lest all reality crumble.

Sorry this took a while to write, I have been busy:

PART FIVE

After checking on Roca, Bob continued to introduce Cornudo and Benedict to the other exhibits in the carnival:

“And this is Whitey, the world’s smartest rat” Bob explained. Pointing at a small white rat. "It has built up all sort of knickknacks by itself! Nothing as amazing as that machine of yours, though.”

No one noticed it, but the rat was ''not’’ pleased at having its efforts compared poorly to the newcomer’s.

“And what is this one?” Cornudo asked, looking at what appeared to be a metallic dog doll.

“Ah, that is Norman, the mechanical dog” the mage explained. “It used to belong to a strange old lady named Mrs. Bates, who used to run an inn many years ago… until she was found dead in, hmm, strange circumstances. The circus picked it up then.”

“Ohh, what an amazing invention! I wish I’d met its inventor. I wonder what it is thinking?”

Actually if Cornudo could read its electronic mind, he would probably regret it, because only one thing ran through it: KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL!! It started approaching them slowly, slowly, slowly-

“Ahoy mates! If yer done ogling the exhibits, we have stuff ta discuss!” Bullet said, coming out of the Circus owner’s tent and walking towards them. When the dog saw her, more specifically the cutlass on her side, something in its malfunctioning brain panicked, and backed away quickly.

A short while later, Bullet meets with her allies in the private tent assigned to them.

“Found out anything?” Benedict asked.

“Indeed!” she said merrily. “I now know the schedule for the wedding. First there will be a big performance from the circus. Then the wedding will take place. They are even baking a HUGE cake for it! Which is perfect for us!”

“How so?” asked Cornudo.

“That cake will be the distraction we need to rescue Alphonse” she explained. “We will switch its enormous candles with a few of-these!” she exclaimed enthusiastically, as she pulled out a stick of dynamite out of her coat.

“Are you crazy!?” Cornudo gasped.

“Relax, I’ll only use enough for a small explosion. Just enough to turn it into a miniature Krakatoa. It’ll spook everyone and splatter everything with fudge! In the confusion, we grab the knight and escape in the ornithopter. Brilliant, no?”

“…Well, it’s a plan, at any rate.” Benedict agreed.

Unknown to the heroes, they were being spied on- by a tiny, white, furry figure. As soon as they were done talking, it scurried away, heading towards their flying machine…

---

Hours Later:

Alphonse could not sleep. Being a hostage in a foreign country was bad enough; having to marry its ruler against your will was a nightmare, even if she was beautiful. He sighed, and decided it was pointless to think about it. He got up and walked about his room. He noticed there were some books in a high shelf; judging from the coat of dust, no one had read them in a long time. He was not surprised, the warlord’s people did not prize literacy. He grabbed one, and began to page his way through it, out of boredom. But, there was something dark about this book, something evil. He could feel it, yet, he could not stop himself from reading it. It was cursed, he now realized, and he was trapped by its cursed. He could feel his very soul being sucked out of his body, and absorbed by the armor he wore. His then fell limp to the floor, in a death-like state.

---

Even later:

Finally, the moment of the wedding had come. The Skyward Circus descended and moored itself to Stephanie’s castle. Soon all the guests had arrived.

“Welcome everyone! To the event of the year: The Royal Wedding!!” a page announced. “To open the event, we present you with the Speaker of the House, Sir Bourbon!!”

The audience applauded, halfheartedly.

A lanky man with curly brown hair, in a neat suit, came out and stood on the stage. “Thank you, everyone. I have a short speech to make” he said, pulling a paper from a pocket. “This is such a happy moment for all of us. Maybe now that the princess is getting married, we will not have to suffer whenever she gets cranky… eh!? No wait, this isn’t my speech!!! Sorry sorry I didn’t mean that, someone must have replaced my papers!! Please don’t execute me!!” and then he walked out of the stage, leaving everyone confused.

The Circus acts were then quickly hurried on the stage to improve the mood.

While the other shows were going on, Bullet quietly slipped into the royal kitchen and pretended to have been sent to pick up the wedding cake. As she had planned, as soon as she had the chance, she replaced the candles with the explosives.

The last act was The Masked Jongleur, a lanky, masked comedian with curly brown hair. He stood on the stage and brought a slip of paper out of a pocket, and started to read from it “It is a wonderful day today, for all of us to be present to share the Princess’ happiness, just as she shares her kindness with us every day- hey wait! So THIS is where the speech was!” he said, annoyed.

Meanwhile, The Princess was getting ready, putting on her wedding dress with help from her personal maid.

“Barbarians, all of them!” Stephanie complained to her maid. “Southerners. How I despise them all! If Alphonse weren’t the most handsome man I’ve ever met, I would never marry him!”

The maid bit her tongue. She knew a secret that she dared not reveal. For Stephanie herself- was born in a southern village. The king found her as a baby, the sole survivor of one of his raids into the southern lands and, in a rare moment of pithy, decided to raise her on his own. How would she react if she were ever to know the truth?

"Arrgh, enough of this!" the princess suddenly shouted. "Let's just get the formalities done with already!!" and she stormed out of the room, quickly followed by the maid.

They arrived at the room where Alphonse was being kept prisoner. "Open the door" she told the guard, who hurriedly obeyed.

"Eh?" she gasped, upon seeing the knight on the floor. "What trickery is this? Stand up!!" she commanded.

He did not move.

"Guard! Pick him up!!"

The guard did as told. "Your majesty... I think he's dead."

"WHAT!?" she screamed. "Let me see!!" she touched the body herself, found it stiff and cold.

"Maybe... maybe he took some poison, rather than..." the maid tried to suggest, only for Stephanie to explode.

"NOOOO!!! HOW DARE HE!! HOW DARE HE DENY ME!!!"

Her verbal explosion was then matched by a bigger series of explosions as the wedding cake did indeed go up like a volcano in the middle of the courtyard, causing a panic all through the castle.

"WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!!!" everyone screamed, but no one knew from where.

Stephanie ran out of the room to find out what was going on. Only moments later, Bullet and Cornudo ran inside.

"I believe this be him, from Benedict's description" the she-pirate said. "Uh oh."

"Anything wrong?"

"Uh, no. Let's get him outta here 'efore the guards spot us!"

They then carried him outside, where the chaos was still total. They loaded the body in the ornithopter, and, after Benedict also tied itself up, took off into the sky.

However, they were spotted at the last second by Stephanie. "Someone is making out with Alphonse!" she shouted. "I knew it!! It had to be a trick!! Stop them!!"

"It's too late!" a guard shouted back.

"No it's not! Where is that oriental mercenary, San?" she shouted.

A man wrapped in black clothes from head to toe suddenly appeared.

"Go get them!"

The man nodded, and then disappeared as fast as he appeared.

---

A short while later, the heroes were flying over the sea, back towards Cornudo's island.

"Umm, Bullet, is it me, or is this man-"

"He's Ok!! He's just tired, Okay? Wouldn't you be if you had to go through all of that?"

"What are you two arguing about?" Benedict asked from below.

Before either could answer, the ornithopter suddenly started sputtering and shaking!

"HEEY! What's happening Professor!?" Bullet screamed.

"I-I don't know! The engine is failing for some reason!"

"Oh no, we are going to crash into the sea!" Benedict roared.

"No wait! I see our ships!! Can we make it there?" the pirate asked.

"I think so, I'll try!" the old man responded.

Fortunately, the ornithopter landed safely on Benedict's ship- and then sputtered off.

"*Whew* we barely made it!" Cornudo gasped.

"Well, I think it's time I be payed, then" Bullet said, smiling like a cat.

"Wait a minute" the dragon said, suspiciously. "What's wrong with Alphonse?"

"Not me problem. Ye wanted him, I helped ye get him. Now give me me booty!"

"That was not the deal!" the Dragon said, growing angry. "We were going to SAVE him! If he's dead, the deal is- hey wait. What is that?"

The three of them looked at a round, glowing object in the sky.

"Oh, that. It's called a balloon. It floats on hot air. Not big deal" Cornudo explained, unimpressed.

A man wrapped in black, baggy clothes from head to, and carrying a dagger on each hand, jumped out of the balloon and landed on the ship. He didn’t speak, but his intent was clear.

“No one boards this ship but me!” Bullet shouted angrily, and she drew out her saber. She took a slash at the ninja and struck him right in the middle- and cleaved him in half?

Apparently so, as the top half fell down to the floor. But the lower half was still standing, yet there was no blood or guts to be seen.

“What the-?” she gasped.

The top half split open by itself- and released two midgets, also dressed in black, from head to toe, each carrying one of the daggers. A third midget emerged from the “bottom”.

Bullet had to laugh. “Sneaky sonuvas!”

Meanwhile, an old woman who floated on the sea -surrounded by several other, much younger ones- observed the battle disapprovingly.

Suddenly, the ship shook, like it had been rammed. The impact knocked everyone off their feet. A giant tentacle then appeared, wrapping itself around the ship!!

“T'is a kraken!!” one of the sailors screamed in terror.

---

The writer yawned. What was all that noise? What were the neighbors up to now? How did they expect him to sleep like this? (Nevermind that he should not be sleeping on a desk to start with.)

He got off his chair and went outside, ready to start yelling at his neighbor-

-and found himself on the deck of the embattled ship!

-“…The heck?” he gasped.

edited 23rd Feb '13 5:43:33 PM by Sijo

This is the best thing.

The Ancient Pirate-Ninja Rivalry lives again!

Someone's life is saved by the inexplicable sudden presence of a cigar store Indian.

This is getting interesting. And the peace pipe, when smoked, grows hot air bubbles (not filled with tobacco, but it is a taste of chaos magic...and dish soap).

WARNING: Eating radioactive chocolate chip cookies can cause atomic piles.

This is epically epic. I love this.

Have the knight's soul be able to move the armor, the author go out onto the deck, the Indian use his tomahaw on the kracken, and one of the ninja's breaths fire at the dragon and pirates.

It comes. The corrupter comes. Don't let it touch the tower lest all reality crumble.

Also, as some point, the princess shopuld start chasing them. By running on the water.

She's THAT freaking angry.

This story gets more epic every part...

• Have the sea witch lead her army of sea nymphs and etc. to actually do something but watch.

I'm moved you people like my story so much. But really, I could not have done it without your aid!

PART SIX

For a moment, the writer just stood there, gazing in awe at the scene before his eyes, as he watched everyone on the ship -even the mini-ninjas- fight against the giant sea squid for their very lives. Then he came to a conclusion.

.*I must be dreaming again! Whoa, I sure have vivid dreams. This is even more detailed than the last time!* He smiled, assuming that this was a happy development, since now he could write even more stuff for his story.

And then a giant tentacle fell on him.

SLAM!!

"OOOFF!!" he gasped, as he found himself pinned against the wooden deck, the pain from being crushed alive feeling all-too-real. "HE-HELP ME! SOMEONE!!" he managed to scream, but everybody else was busy fighting the other nine tentacles.

Then suddenly, a person's shadow fell over him. He couldn't see who it was, only that it seemed to be hacking at the tentacle with an axe. Bits and pieces of squid flesh and blood fell around him, and suddenly the tentacle lifted, recoiling back into the water in pain.

"T-thank you" the middle-aged man said, as he struggled to his feet, aching but not seriously hurt. Then he took a good look at his rescuer.

It was Indian made of wood- complete with a tomahawk in one hand and a bunch of cigars on the other.

"Oh God, this dream gets crazier by the moment."

The living statue ignored his comment and went on to attack another tentacle. But the progress against the monster was slow, and the ship continued to rock violently and groan under the strain. "Get the sea witch!!" the author screamed.

"Eh?" Captain Bullet exclaimed, noticing the stranger for the first time. "Who the blazes be ye??"

"Never mind that now! The sea monster is being controlled by a sea witch! Get her and it will stop attacking!"

"Where be she?"

"Over there, in the water!" he said, pointing over the side of the ship. Indeed, a short distance a way, the witch and her servants could be seen.

"So the legends be true, this waters belong to a sea witch!" Bullet said, then made a hand signal to her crew, on the neighboring ship. "Ahoy me crew!! Open fire to where I point! Now!!"

The pirates got the signal, and started firing their cannons to where the sea witch was. Scared off, she dove under the sea, and lost control of the kraken, who itself followed its own instincts and released the ship and returned to the depths of the ocean.

A few moments later, calm seemed to return. "Thanks, stranger. Now once again: who be ye, and how did ye-"

"Hey! The midgets are carrying Alphonse's body away!!" Professor Cornudo shouted.

Indeed, the three mini-ninjas were dragging the knight's inert body towards a rope tied to the hot air balloon above the ship.

"Oh no ye don't!" Bullet shouted, and lunged at them again.

But just as she was about to reach them, one of them swallowed a pill.

"LOOK OUT, HE'S GOING TO BREATH FIRE!" the writer shouted, causing Bullet to dodge just in time, avoiding the flames.

"You call that fiery breath? Try this!" Benedict roared, but just as the dragon prepared to roast the ninjas alive, they all took shelter behind Alphonse, correctly guessing that he would not hurt his friend.

Just as it looked like they might get away with the knight's body, it suddenly came to life, turning around and striking the ninjas hard, stunning them with his fists. They recovered quickly, but by then he had backed off and had reached his allies.

"Alphonse!! My old friend! You are alive!!" Benedict roared happily.

But the knight didn't respond.

"They are getting away!" Cornudo pointed out, and they then saw that they had climbed up the rope and back to the balloon, which the ship soon left behind.

"...He's not exactly alive" the writer explained. "He's under a curse. His soul is actually inside his armor now. I guess he only now figured that he could move it, and his body inside along with it."

"...And yet again: how do ye know all these things?" Bullet asked, suspiciously.

The writer felt all eyes on him now, and suddenly realized he had no easy answer. Even if this was a dream, telling them that they were just figments of his imagination would probably not be the right thing to do.

"...My name is Wilfredo Martinez, and I'm- a seer" he explained. "I see things in my dreams. That's how I knew about your noble quest, and came here to- assist you with it" which was true enough, he decided.

"And that thing?" Bullet asked, pointing at the Indian.

"I don't know, he's not with me. Though I am grateful for his help."

"Be ye not a seer?"

"Hey, I have to dream things first. I haven't had a dream about him yet."

Suddenly, the Indian offered Bullet his pipe.

"Eh?" she asked.

"Oh, I think he wants to be friends with you. That's a custom among his people" the writer explained.

"Well, thank ye!" she said merrily. She put the pipe in her mouth, sucked on it-

-and then spat out bubbles!

"BLEH!! What be this!? It ain't tobacco!"

"Huh. Those look like... soap bubbles?" the writer said, scratching his head.

"Tastes like soap, too!" Bullet said angrily.

Cornudo laughed. "What a silly thing!"

"Silly?" the writer said, then snapped his fingers. "Sillurgy! This thing must have been created by Bob the Sillyurge's Chaos Magic!"

"Huh, ye know even about that? Maybe ye are a seer after all!"

"Why would he send this thing after us?" Benedict asked.

"That I don't know. Maybe to help you, maybe to capture you, only it misfired. With chaos magic, anything goes."

---

Meanwhile, over at The Land of Ice's shore, Stephanie stomped around a beach, impatiently. "How long is it going to take for that stupid ninja to bring back Alphonse!?"

"My lady" her maid tried to say, "a balloon is not that fast. Besides, even if he brings the body back, he is dea-"

"HE IS NOT DEAD! IT'S A TRICK! I WILL HAVE HIM BACK! HE IS MINE, YOU HEAR? MINE MINE ' MINE!!!

Suddenly Stephanie started running, right into the ocean!

"MY LADY!" the maid screamed. "What are you doing? Sto-"

But it was she who stopped in her tracks, when she realized that instead of sinking beneath the waves, Stephanie was running on top of them!

She gasped, realizing that perhaps there was more to the Princess than even she knew...

edited 24th Feb '13 5:16:28 PM by Sijo

A sentient windmill that can control the weather and communicate by saying morse code.

This is beginning to remind me of a strange combination of FLCL and Xanth.

• Spontaneous Pie Storm Threatens Ship.
• Bingo-Playing Harpies Roost Nearby

You mean a giant, correct? Everyone knows windmills are mechas in disguise, Transformers-esque.

...Actually do that. A steampunk mecha disguised as an windmill. An evil steampunk mecha disguised as an windmill. That is awesome. Also:

• Lethal Lava Land
• An Ice Giant and an Fire Giant. They hate each other and are masters of smithing and crafts. And both hate _____ more than each other.

No, I meant more like an old-style windmill that moves on large wooden wheels.

A canary communicating by a form of sign (body) language tries to warn them about the princess, running across the water towards them.

Norman does some sky-writing, only it's in Canine, and no one on board speaks it.

The princess's servants try to run across the water with their princess, to help her; but, as none of them can swim, or run across the water, no one makes it very far from the shoreline.

One of the bubbles becomes lodged in Bullet's hair and almost lifts her off the ground by it, but someone slices through the hair so that the bubble, with what hair it has, floats towards the shore, where some tribe of pygmies that worship magic bubbles with hair canonize it..

WARNING: Eating radioactive chocolate chip cookies can cause atomic piles.

I was joking The windmill mecha-thing, some friends of mine have joked about it in other forum, though I don't remember if the discussion lead to something or not (maybe Tegen Toppa Gurren Laggan). Also there was a xkcd comic that even is the page image for No Mere Windmill. I think one of our heroes should have a rival, and while Whitey isn't there for Cornudo, here's one for Bullet. So, whenever is possible to be added:

• Captain __________, a pirate with the power to manipulate paper. His cutlass is obviously called 'Papercut'. His ship is called Alexandrian, as a nod to the library of Alexandria, because the guy uses his powers to steal all kinds of top-secret paperwork and whatnot. He also claims to be the descedant of __________.

EDIT: Oh, and he can use papier-mâché to create fake stuff, so to trick his oponents, and of course, he beats rock.

edited 24th Feb '13 5:50:27 PM by Victin

The nymphs return and try to drag the ship beneath the waves and start climbing it with daggers.

An ink blob for the Author's evil counterpart?

It comes. The corrupter comes. Don't let it touch the tower lest all reality crumble.

...I can't stop thinking on an ink blot of doom that goes One-Winged Angel after losing a fight. One last suggestion, for whenever possible (actually do that, if you can't put one of my suggestions right now, leave it to later; I can go pretty crazy, and right now I'm on FIRE!!!): A pub fight.

edited 24th Feb '13 6:10:02 PM by Victin

The wooden Indian knows more about the situation than he's letting on, but can't reveal it directly because he can't talk.

Also, someone on board the ship is revealed as a spy for the Princess.

(Are these two linked, or are they not? That is for the writer to decide.)

edited 24th Feb '13 6:44:43 PM by Specialist290

Everyone, I'm working on the next part of the story, but a head cold has slowed me down. >_< But like Ah-nold said, I WILL BE BACK!!

edited 26th Feb '13 7:53:51 PM by Sijo

Are you still sick? Or are you better?