How to visit our countries.

Uh, visiting Colorado:

• The "Front Range" is boring as fuck if you're on the straight highway from Denver to Nebraska. I can't say anything about that as I'm from the "Western slope" aka The portion with all the mountains.
• Broncos are a big deal. Do not point out how terrible they are.
• DO NOT say you're a Raiders fan. Just... don't unless you're talking to someone not a big American football fan. (unlikely)
• The gas prices are absurd, we know. Stop complaining we have to deal with it year round so they can suck every last penny out of you tourists.
• Our mountains are land markers and how we get around. If you don't know the local mountain chains let them know if you don't have an accent so we'll give you by road directions. Because "go towards Sopris till you can see the Eagle head peak" is going to confuse the shit out of you.
• We can be pretty chill and friendly. At least in my valley.
• If you own property in Aspen, Colorado try not to admit it unless you're actually in Aspen. Aspenites are not welcomed because they're "rich assholes".

• THIS IS MEGA IMPORTANT SO PAY THE FUCK ATTENTION: Average elevation in Colorado is around 6,000 feet ( 1.828 km) above sea level. So if you're hiking please, please, PLEASE be smart. Read up on the trail. There are always signs dictating facts about the trail at the trail head. The informational centers might have pamplets. (at least around my area)
  • Doesn't matter if it's a small trail, BRING WATER. But don't chug it. With the increase of altitude you'll make yourself sick and vomit all over. Also, be wary of altitude sickness so don't try and surge up the trail like you live here. Go at a pace you can keep up for a while.
    • Try and freeze your water as much as possible. It's so much nicer to have a cool sip of water than a lukewarm one.
  • Snacks are important too. Most hiking trails are at minimum an hour long thing of steep grade or switchbacks. And that's going up.
• Colorado is kind of a outdoorsy, dog loving area. But dogs are not allowed on trails unless it says otherwise. You can get fined 300 dollars if a park ranger catches you.
• We're generally pretty nice, there's also a lot of hispanics in my area so expect spanglish mixed with californian surfer dude lingo.

• yes, marijuana is legal here. Medically. You need a medical license to buy it so don't expect to hop into the various dispensaries and then get blazed in public. That's a "go to jail" incident waiting to happen.

Uh, this would be better if someone asked me questions..

Ah, I forgot! People from warm climates, do not try to drive in the winter. Just don't do it. Most Canadian parents won't let their teenagers drive in winter, and we're used to snow fucking everything up.

If you decide you've got nothing to live for and get behind the wheel of an automobile anyway, don't try to drive away the second you get the ignition going. You have to wait a few minutes for everything to warm up under the hood.

Actually, this applies to Colorado too. If you are not used to heavy snow in winter, driving during winter out here is a terrible stupid idea. Half the roads have a deep ravine on one side for you to slide off. Especially if you're crawling up the mountain to go skiing/snowboarding.

Seriously, driving on snow is a bitch.

And beware of black ice, that stuff causes accidents.

Hell, if you're from a warm climate, beware of Nebraska winters (for much the same reason). We tend to get pretty cold winters as well as hot summers.

edited 9th Sep '12 10:23:15 PM by Balmung

Take the advice Jinxed gave on driving in winter, combine it with Furiko's, and double it, if you're anywhere in BC except for Vancouver Island or Vancouver itself in the winter.

The lower mainland, on the other hand, is the most temperate place in Canada, with a fairly mild winter.

The rest of the province is hell if you don't know what you're doing.

@Furiko: What if they drive Subarus or Audis or Jeeps or anything with four driven wheels?

If you don't know what you're doing, 4WD is just a way of inducing overconfidence.

If you don't know how to use the tool properly, regardless of how well suited for the job, you'll still wank it up.

If you haven't driven in it, or don't have an experienced person to guide you through it, don't do it.

Four wheel drive is the fastest way for someone who doesn't know what they're doing to end up in a ditch.

Or hitting a tree.

Four wheel drive only helps if you know how to drive in shitty conditions in the first place.

... Or you can be like me and just drive a rear-wheel drive car exclusively and luck out with no issues.

Question about Colorado: Does South Park exist?

This applies heavily here.

... *sigh* yes, South Park, Colorado is a real place. I haven't been there, but I'm fairly sure they are going to be annoyed at South Park quotes. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of teens have probably gone there because "it's south park!" and then act like little shits.

Gas prices apply to San Francisco as well.

Oh!

For Americans driving into Canada: Our gas prices are in dollars per litre. At present, the exchange rate is in favour of Canada (we're actually around $1 CAD = $1.02 USD, right now). This is on top of the fact that our gas is more expensive than yours in the first place. (Last I checked, the lowest gas price in Canada is still about 10% higher than the highest in the USA, after adjusting from gallons to litres)

In other words: expect gas prices to be higher than you are accustomed to.

Also: there are way, way, way fewer types of junk food available in Canada. Fewer brands of chips and such in shops and fewer fast food chains. Just warnin' ya.

On the plus side, Ontario has these awesome pitstop places along the highway that collect Tim Hortons, Wendy's or MacDonalds, and Subway or something all together at one gas station. The newest of them have free wifi.

Ooh, and Vachon cakes! They're like Hostess snack cakes, only a little bit better. Give 'em a shot; I recommend Half-Moons - according to my mother they taste the way Twinkies used to taste before they started to suck.

edited 10th Sep '12 4:26:23 PM by FurikoMaru

Vachon cakes? Never heard of Vachon cakes.

Oh. If you want some obscure Asian delicacy or snack food, chances are you can find it pretty easily in BC.

We also have some awesome East Indian and Sushi restaurants in any city of more than about 50 000 people.

However, like Furiko said, expect to see only certain fast food chains (Mc Donalds, A&W, Wendys, Burger King, Fat Burger, Tim Horton's, Subway and Quiznos are the only ones to come to mind immediately) and brands of chips (Pringles, Lays, Mrs. Vickies, Old Dutch - and that's pretty much it). We have weird monopolies.

Alberta, specifically Olds, is the only place I have been able to find s'mores ritz cracker minis. O....M....G....

Though I was also the only one who managed to get a full 12 pack of Canadian beer home in my check in bag, through 10 hours of flight time and 3 connections. I only lost one.

^^ I don't remember that about BC. You don't have Passion Flakies and Half-Moons and Mae Wests and Jos Louis and stuff?

All right, revision; Quebec and Ontario have Vachon cakes.

What beer?

Please tell me it wasn't Molson or Labatt or something like that...

Kokanee or however you spell it.

That's the correct spelling, but an unfortunate choice.

It was recommended. What should I try next time?

Uh... Depends where you are in the country.

For nationally available stuff?

Alexander Keith's and St. Ambroise are both great beer companies, especially St. Ambroise's Oatmeal Stout.

Sleeman's is also good and pretty widely available. The Honey Brown Lager is especially good.

Rickard's is okay; best off getting a Dark or a Red.

Can't really comment on regional beers outside of BC, but if you're in BC:

- Whistler Brewing Co.'s "Black Tusk" ale
- Phillips Brewing Co.'s "Blue Buck" and "Slipstream" ales
- Tree Brewing Co.'s "Thirsty Beaver Amber Ale"
- Steamwhistle Brewing (anything)
- if you're in Vancouver, go to Yaletown and stop by the Yaletown Brewery for a few beers
- also in Vancouver, check out the Gastown Brewery
- anywhere in the province you should be able to pick up Granville Island Brewing Co.'s beers - I recommend the Gastown Amber Ale or the Honey Brown

I have never been out of Alberta last I visited. I'd love to see more of the country.