It's Like Arguing on the Internet
"Now!"
What do we want?
"Time travel!"
When do we want it?
Somehow you know that the time is right.
Cape Malleum Majorem
At a zombie pep rally:
"What do we want?"
"BRAINS!"
"When do we want 'em?"
"BRAINS!"
This Space Intentionally Left Blank.
my current job
What do we want?
A cure for ADHD!
When do we want it?
Squirrel!
The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
Two-bit blockhead
Here's a bit of advice: advi
Weird in a Can (updated M-F)
There's a sign posted in my local reservoir's parking lot. It says, "Standing frogs will be toad."
loafing about
What do you get when you cross a bakery and a zombie virus?
Night of the living bread
my current job
What do you get when you anthropomorphize feelings of hatred after 7:00?
Night of the living dread.
The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
I mean no offence with this joke, of course.
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor... 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,
then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more.
She pushed her knee and screamed.
Likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'
memezilla
What is Santas favorite drink?
A festive spirit
A real bad hombre
Clinton winning Iowa over a few coin flips is proof that money decides elections.
Geddit? Anyone? OK I'll show myself out.
edited 2nd Feb '16 8:07:03 PM by LinkToTheFuture
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." -Thomas Edison
What do you call a paedophile that moonlights as a car salesman? A loli-con!
edited 2nd Feb '16 11:53:30 PM by YasminPerry
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
I bet they sell...tank-lolis.
I'm a (socialist) professional writer serializing a WWII alternate history webnovel.
memezilla
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Our Favorite Cowgirl, er, Mare
One of the Super Bowl commercials just had Christopher Walken, the Human Big-Lipped Alligator Moment. XD 
Red Like Santa
How many ears does a Starfleet Captain have?
Three, a left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.
Now known as Cyber Controller
If you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
The absolute worst thing to do to an overweight woman (read: obese) is to touch their stomach and go "I felt the baby kick!"
"If you spend all your heart / On something that has died / You are not alive and that can't be a life"
Night Clerk of the Apacalypse.
One day a young man comes home from church with two black eyes. His mama who had been home cooking all day was shocked.
"Young man what happened to you?" she asked.
The boy sheepish and embarrassed replies. "Some big lady at church clocked me twice mom."
The mother is shocked before she looks at her son suspiciously " Youngman what did you do to earn those shiners?"
The boy still embarrassed sighs. "Well we were standing to sing a hymn and noticed the big lady in front of me had her skirt stuck to her behind. I thought I would be polite and fix it for her. So I reached out and pulled it out for her. She turned around on me all mad called me a pervert and before I could explain she bopped me. That was the first black eye."
The mom looks at her son with her eyebrows raised. "Ok how did you get the other?"
The boy hangs his head and goes on with his story. "Well I apologized and said don't do it again and went on with the service all peaceful and calm. Part way a gentlemen joined in the pew. When we rose to sing the closing hymn he pulled the dress out of her behind like I did. "
The mom with a look of concern asks. "Did she belt you for what that man did then?"
The boy sighs and shakes head. "No mom. I knew she didn't like that one bit so I shoved back in."
Who watches the watchmen?
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
I think I heard that one from somewhere, but still good. ![[tup]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Thumbs_up_emoticon_3268.png "[thumb up]"){kind=small}
Night Clerk of the Apacalypse.
Courtesy of Terminus Est. See original post here.
How do you stop a North Korean tank? Shoot the guy pushing it.
Who watches the watchmen?
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
My God, North Korean soldiers ARE made of barefisted supersoldiers. 
![[lol]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lol2v12_4863.png "[lol]"){kind=small}
my current job
Jokes about Star Wars are forced.
The possum is a potential perpetrator; he did place possum poo in the plum pot.
Confucius say, "man standing behind car get exhausted."
A blind man walks into a bar... and a chair... and a table...
edited 12th Feb '16 5:55:06 PM by Aetol
Worldbuilding is fun, writing is a chore
I once had a thing with a psychic girl. But she dumped me before we met.
Weird in a Can (updated M-F)