Do a barrel roll!
Why can't you trust the Slovakian flag
◊?
Because it'll double-cross you.
edited 2nd Jan '15 10:42:19 PM by RandomAdventure
The Artifact. Is currently Lazy Hazy.
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
One of James Joyce's neighbours was passing by one day and saw the writer looking gloomy, so he called out, "Good morning, James, how many words today?"
"Twelve", Joyce replied.
"But that's good for you, James. Why so unhappy?"
"Because I don't know what order they go in."
The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable
Do a barrel roll!
This happened one time when my friend Max and I were talking about Age of Empires III:
Max: I think I'll play as the Russians.
Me: Then quit Stalin.
Digimon is coming back!
Why did little Susie drop her books?
She got hit by a bus.
Where did little Sally go during the bombing?
Everywhere!
Why did little Jimmy fall off the swing?
He had no arms.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Not Jimmy.
![[down]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_down.png "[down]"){kind=icon}
![[tup]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/Thumbs_up_emoticon_3268.png "[thumb up]"){kind=small}
![[lol]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/lol2v12_4863.png "[lol]"){kind=small}
edited 23rd Jan '15 2:55:54 PM by the8thdigidestined
Even with these awkward wings, dyed with images that seem to stay. I'm sure we can fly, on my love! 3DS Friend Code: 2809-9138-8756
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure
The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable
The Mod with the Migraine
For some less dark humor:
A van carrying a dozen movie stuntmen on the way to a film location in the mountains spun out of control on the icy road, crashed through a guard-rail, rolled down a 90-foot embankment, turned over, and burst into flames.
There were no injuries.
That’s the epitome of privilege right there, not considering armed nazis a threat to your life. - Silasw
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
How many Horsemen of the Apocalypse does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three. War never changes.
The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable
Do a barrel roll!
It's Like Arguing on the Internet
That one reminds me of another clergy joke...
A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, and not the original books.
So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there was an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying. He asks what's wrong.
The old monk says, "The word is 'celebrate'."
Somehow you know that the time is right.
Wait, what?
SPACE
They didn't have to be celibate.
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
But... that isn't how monastery transcription happened, and celibacy of the priesthood was always an official deduction rather than scripturally explicit?
<_<
The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable
It's Like Arguing on the Internet
You hush. 
Trans Siberian Anarchestra (it/they)
NEVAR
If a joke relies on the audience not knowing something, I think it's funnier to sabotage it :D
"Okay, I talked with the doctor; it sounds like I've contracted onomatopoeia."
"Is it serious?"
"It's just as bad as it sounds."
SPACE
My mind's ear is hearing Airplane! characters deliver that one.
Do a barrel roll!
Here's one for my fellow fans of
Avatar: The Last Airbender. :)
SPACE
Did you hear about the New Yorker who went to shovel 10 feet of snow off his front walk? He ended up 9 1/2 feet under ground.
Do a barrel roll!
I used to have a married couple for neighbors, but they would argue a lot. It was rumored that the man was a practitioner of black magic. He would often tell his wife "When I die, I'll dig myself up and haunt you forever!" Strange things happened around town, up to and including pets disappearing. When people would complain to him, he would say "When I die, I'll dig myself up and haunt you forever!" Then one day, the man died under mysterious circumstances. A service was held, including a closed casket. After the funeral, the wife invited all her friends and held a grand celebration. The neighbors became confused and asked her "Why are you celebrating? Your husband said that when he died, he'd dig himself up and haunt you forever." She answered with "Let him dig; I buried him upside-down."
Flora is the most beautiful member of the Winx Club. :)
MIA
any jokes that a squirrel would say
MIA
Do a barrel roll!
Digimon is coming back!
How many squirrels does it take to change a lightbulb?
NONE, CAUSE THEY'RE SO DARN STUPID!
edited 3rd Feb '15 4:02:56 PM by the8thdigidestined
Even with these awkward wings, dyed with images that seem to stay. I'm sure we can fly, on my love! 3DS Friend Code: 2809-9138-8756
Do a barrel roll!
Mweheheh
So a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his belt buckle.
The bartender asks him, "What's that on your belt?"
The pirate says, "Arr, it's driving me nuts."
Peace is the only battle worth waging.
My brother was a chemist, a chemist he is no more, for what he thought was H 2 O was H 2 SO 4!
[forum cryptid: it/it's]