Are we discouraging social behavior? Should we?

Which New York City did you go to?

You can't make a blanket statement like that about NYC. Frankly the place is teeming with eccentrics, and you'd be wary of a stranger stopping to ask you anything besides directions. Linger in one spot and all kinds of wackiness can ensue; I've been offered dime bags or rubbed down by an old Vietnamese lady trying to coax me into an outdoor massage chair.

But it's not exactly Gotham City, either.

I would modify that statement to say that no one is anxious to make new friends. Politeness, sure. But it's been an incredible pain to get others to make time for me, even my extended family. These people aren't hurting for friends, and they simply do not need another one.

I think it's a characteristic of city life in general, and not exclusive to the east coast at all.

edited 13th Apr '12 9:36:21 PM by johnnyfog

The same one I've been to apparently.

Maybe it's the obnoxious accents. I get into a bit of a hostile mood around people who sound obnoxious, and perhaps it mirrors back at me.

I've been a Bronx resident my whole life. The frickin' Bronx, a place that's supposed to be Thunderdome. Even those people are friendly for crying out loud.

The Yankees are the real menace.

Har-har Fog. But dude seriously, we can't have these unenlightened folks putting down our fine city, can we?

New Yorkers are definitely nicer than Chicagoans, that's for sure.

That ain't hard, my friend. But if you're looking not-nice city people might I direct you to Philadelphia. Boston is hit or miss.

Its not that city folk arent friendly Its that they have different behavior patterns based on that its really hard to be intimately familiar and nice to hundreds of thousands of other people.

I've had a conversation about this with my best friend before. We'd been talking to some people from England (we're in Australia) on public transport for quite a while, and they initiated the conversation. He pointed out that just talking to random strangers was something that didn't really happen in Australia, and thinking about it, I'm inclined to agree with him.

Which is weird, considering the reputation of Australians abroad still seems to be 'friendly and informal' (although that's been tainted a bit by attacks on Indian exchange students lately). Maybe it's because we treat tourists better than ourselves, like how you're more polite to a guest in your house than you are to people who're there anyway?

Most certainly. New Yorkers tend to treat each other like shit, or at least it's like, "Whaddya want?". But the minute someone gives off that slight "deer-in-the-headlights" vibe tourists who are a bit out-of-place in the big city give off, and suddenly we all trip over ourselves to be knights in shining armor.

edited 13th Apr '12 11:49:48 PM by TheStarshipMaxima

Anything beyond a few dozen people and you can't be intimately familiar with them. Facebook friends aside, you probably don't know more than (ballparking here) 300 or so people with any real degree of familiarity. Any town with more than a ten thousand people should have the exact same problem as your "big city": there's no way to care about or even really know that many people.

Besides, the few tiny towns I've been to (population < 2000) have been extremely gossipy (in a rather acerbic way), distrustful of outsiders, and quite racist.

I'm just saying I don't think this can boil down to a big city/small town thing.

Odd, I thought that Australia did better than England in that aspect. I've been talked to by random strangers on trains here, but not during my trip to England. Maybe because they know that I was a tourist?

Oh, that's complete bull. We only have a bad reputation because of the kooky sports fans, and even they're reasonably affable under most non-game/beer-related conditions.

Also, our Chinatown is better than yours.

edited 14th Apr '12 5:10:46 AM by JHM

Maybe. I also shouldn't judge all of England by four random people.

@Vericrat: well, in my experience, kansas City is much more welcoming than my hometown, which is a small "city" of only 30,000 people. Because theyre mostly highly judgemental rednecks.

I love Kansas City. Friendliest city I've ever been to.

I wonder how much people's perceived friendliness is the result of the vibe the person themselves gives off?

That probably figures in too. My utter disdain for the religious and political beliefs of my hometown probably doesnt help me.

People from Philly are just as obnoxious...

At least people in Los Angeles usually aren't rude, they can't be rude to a person they don't acknowledge the existence of.

I just hate New Englander accents. NY, Boston, Philly, the whole northeast US is filled with people who make me want to smack them whenever they open their mouths.

We love you too Bark.

My theory is KC people are nice because KC is one of very few places in missouri and Kansas that isnt overrun by tea party politics and religious conservatives.

We're getting off topic.

I've been accused of being anti social, but I have a disorder to justify it at least.

Waitasec, Bark, New York is not New England, and the current and native NYers would probably appreciate it if you didn't lump us in without Boston, thank you.

Doesn't matter to me. Y'all east coasters are nothin.