1000 Bad Reasons To Declare War

718:They have all nice things

719:They stole my computer

720: The one dude flipped off my dog.

721: I dunno, I was bored. Gotta problem with that?

722: I want my garden hose back, they won't give it to me.

723: I'm worried about a guy that wants to hijack ALL the planes.

edited 15th Jul '12 2:23:58 PM by SeanMurrayI

Goddamn it Sean. That running gag is hilarious.

724: That fat dude stole my twinkie.

725: His clothes are tacky.

edited 15th Jul '12 3:35:42 PM by Prometheus136

726:I need some money. Badly.

727: I believe in world peace. Other people don't. Only way to world peace? The peace of the grave. Kill them all.

728. Because that guy over there wouldn't scratch my foot.

729. Because that guy over there made me scratch his foot.

730: Mary failed to have a little lamb.

edited 15th Jul '12 11:07:35 PM by Fuzy2K

731. That post they made reminded me of animal porn, and that's terrible.

732: Colin Mochrie put on a wig.

733. They are harboring a fugitive, specifically the guy who wrote the script for "Breaking Dawn" and swapped it in for the book Stephanie Meyer actually wrote.

edited 16th Jul '12 9:11:28 AM by stevebat

734: Stephanie Meyer deemed dangerous. TERMINATE WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE. Result causes fangirls/boys/middle aged women to take up arms and attempt to stage coup.

edited 16th Jul '12 9:19:34 AM by Prometheus136

735: New war means sequel!

736. They declared war for 735 bad reasons.

737. Their reasons for declaring war are better than mine.

738. They don't know the words to "Waltzing Matilda."

739. I don't know their language, so I need to make them speak ours.

740: They spell color with a "U"? Who does that?

I almost did, actually...

741: Our scholars invented a new language and they aren't conforming.

742: They spell "Spelled" like "Spelt" OMGWTF THEY MUST DIE

743: This restaurant's food is sub-par, launch the artillery!

edited 16th Jul '12 10:52:13 AM by Prometheus136

744: They posted in the wrong thread.

745: They didn't let go my EGGO!

746: They own a farm I'm dying to turn into a convenience store.

747: I get to fly in a luxury airplane (Boeing 747) for waging this.

748: For reason 666 they didn't link to a video clip of Wayne Brady playing a Demon possessed girl scout and write "Satan commanded me to."

edited 16th Jul '12 4:02:00 PM by Journeyman

749. They brought up reasons of years-gone-by for declaring war.

750. We wanted a reason to start a Quarter-Til Conflict.

751: Weanted to beat the world record for the shortest successful war, 7 days. After that we'll work at it until we can outdo the 7 Hours War with the 6 Hours and 50 Minutes War.

752: They made me like Skrillex! They must be stopped!

753: Without a border massacre, the Domino's kid reaches me in less than 30 minutes ... and I'm out the cost of two Super Deluxes.

754: They think our delivery boys aren't prepared to drive into a warzone. Little do they know that our Dominos employees are trained by Israeli commandos AND Chinese motor cart drivers. Those pizzas will still be there right on time.