WTF Fanfiction

SapphireBlue from California Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Drift compatible

#1626: Jan 27th 2015 at 6:30:01 PM

That Toy Story one is just...ew.

PurpleDalek Since: Sep, 2011

#1627: Jan 28th 2015 at 3:13:50 AM

I automatically read it in Tom Hanks and Tim Allen's voices and it was even worst.

edited 29th Jan '15 1:02:49 AM by PurpleDalek

NickTheSwing Since: Aug, 2009

#1628: Jan 28th 2015 at 3:30:32 PM

Fandom: SHI Nee “Picked clean, a thigh bone of a chicken was sliding in and out of his entrance, and fuck Jonghyun had never wished away an erection so bad. He shut his eyes and dropped his head back against the pillow, feeling his stomach clench and his gag reflex kick in as he thought about what Jinki was doing to him - fucking him with a chicken bone - imagining the white bone sliding in and out of his entrance. A thigh bone. Of a chicken.”

urgh fucking urgh.

Fandom: Fall Out Boy "An hour later, Pete is naked (except the crown bedecking his huge forehead), soaked in gasoline, with 1,000 helium balloons tied to his backpack. There is a rope attached to his foot, which Patrick is holding diligently. Andy returns with a box of matches and a machete. ‘Why do u even have all this stuff in your bag?’ Patrick asks, gesturing to Pete’s naked form and the empty tanks of helium behind them. 'I live my life one yolo at a time' Andy replies. Patrick sees no flaw in this reasoning.”

What...the...fuck?

Fandom: Naruto"u wer sitting in ur hous. ten, sakura chan cam in. she wz wering a smexy maid outfit. her bewbs were hanging out. 'master, nyaaaaaaaaaaaa~! i want ur dk in my kitty!!!!' 'go bak to teh kitchen u yelled and smakd her butty. suddenly, narutu cam in. he wantd ur dik 2. then u all were nakd and fuckd. “

This is like My Immortal, but with weird sexism.

Fandom: Game Grumps “He feels a trace of lace over the edge of her bra, and whoosh, he’s quickly getting harder than a stale Skittle and a shot of moonshine.”

Why?

Fandom: Scream "sudanly CHARLIE AND ROBBIE AND TREVER APEARED WITH GANZ!11!1!1!1!11!11! ‘GAY MAFIA, BITCH!’ THEY SCREAMED AS THEY SHOT SCARLET IN THE VAGINAY 100000000000 TIMES! ’NOO MY VIRGINITY!’ SCREMED SCARLET AS SHE DYED!1!11!11!1!"

Who's Scarlet? What the hell is going on? And apparently GANZ have Unlimited Magazines.

Fandom: Property Brothers (HGTV)

"Suddenly they were kissing, kissing loudly in every room. As they kissed The One Who Wears Suits was telling her what Balcony could get on her wish list without breaking her budget. ‘We would knock down this wall here to let in some natural light for the kichen,’ he said as he kissed her neck.

'Tell me more, the one who wears suits,' Balcony moaned.

'The bathroom will be upgraded to have a claw footed tub and a double vanity sink, marble of course.'

'Don’t stop, The one who wears suits!'”

Sex with a balcony?

PikaScootaloo Don't sweat it, forget it, enjoy the show! Since: Nov, 2012 Relationship Status: You can be my wingman any time

Don't sweat it, forget it, enjoy the show!

#1629: Jan 29th 2015 at 2:23:36 PM

Fandom: Total Drama

Noah looked at Dawn. "Now, you ugly fucking slut, you're going to run away with me into the slutty sun where we will live together forever. Slut."

Dawn nodded and they ran into the sun and burned alive.

I love this fic.

edited 29th Jan '15 2:23:56 PM by PikaScootaloo

Don't listen to that guy! He's trying to lead you down the path of righteousness. I'm gonna lead you down the path that rocks.

IchigoPockyChama from my new account Since: Dec, 2013

#1630: Jan 29th 2015 at 6:54:24 PM

Noah/Dawn OTP

NickTheSwing Since: Aug, 2009

#1631: Jan 30th 2015 at 6:38:04 PM

My own continuation of the above: Solaris the Evil Star looked down at the crispy humans who ran into him. They were so full of love for one another, despite one apparently died while calling the other a "slut". "I will burn them to ashes and spread the ashes across the universe." And so he did. And so he did. And their ashes mixed happily ever after.

Explosivo25 How fleeting... from Beach City Since: Mar, 2012 Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!

How fleeting...

#1632: Feb 1st 2015 at 9:07:22 AM

Headcanon Noawn interaction right there. XD

DJ/Dawn forever, bitches.

edited 1st Feb '15 9:09:17 AM by Explosivo25

I don’t even know anymore.

NickTheSwing Since: Aug, 2009

#1633: Feb 2nd 2015 at 2:29:56 AM

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2012/02/fan_fiction_friday_sam_flynn_and_sam_witwicky_in_t.php

Some selections from this;

The sun was setting over the horizon and its reflection could be seen in the bar counter which the camera focused on to save money by not animating their mouths.

Now this isn't the real truth but just part of the truth so if you readers who can't figure out that I hafta change some things in fiction to make the good story and maybe you believe Naruto is real you stupid sh-ts than you should never write reviews but you good readers who are wise and kind like Moses you know that the fiction always has to have fictional versions of real life things like putting England and France together becuze otherwise James Bond takes too long to drive and its a boring story! Just becase its in a story doesn't mean the author thinks it is real you know I have giant robots too but you know nobody realy builds them because it is against the law!

Sam said, "Now in all the schools they teach the gay conspiracy which is what homosexuals want you to think. This conspiracy tells you that you can never become homosexual, that it is born like becoming a prince or princess all high and mighty! But the truth is that everyone can become gay whenever they want! Gay should never be limited to homsexauls! It is not a birthright like the lentils, it is earned by claiming it!"

WHO THE HELL WROTE THIS?

Sam adds then, "The ultimate barrier is what gay dudes and gay chicks say will force gays to only have s-x with gays of the same gender, no matter how much they want to pork outside there gender!

...What. The. Fuck?

The camera pans back to Sam's mouth and his entire lips fill the screen as he ate those donuts with the crab filling and said, "You say that love will take away these barriers and allow all dudes and chicks to have s-x with whoever they like to pork, but how can you prove it? My heart is rotten with government brainwashing!"

Get off the computer, Hector, says Nick The Swing in a joke only he gets.

edited 2nd Feb '15 2:34:11 AM by NickTheSwing

NickTheSwing Since: Aug, 2009

#1634: Feb 3rd 2015 at 7:42:01 PM

Have fun figuring out who the characters in this are; that's half the horror of this garbage.

I maoned into Dylan's mouuth and he sped up working his fingers in my twat, ohh ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh, I did moan, and then we werr havin sex on top of my mother's car. My father wlaked ot and screamed, "What the fuck are you doing you fucking fuckity fuck!?!?" I shotted, "ITS MY LIFE!!!" He screamed "Fr AAAAAAAK!!!" and puled out his gun and shot hisself in his own mouth. We then came and were done - weh ad too met Erric.

Nintendork64 Since: Jul, 2011

#1635: Feb 3rd 2015 at 8:08:51 PM

Where does that come from? I tried googling it, but didn't get any results.

NickTheSwing Since: Aug, 2009

#1636: Feb 3rd 2015 at 8:23:12 PM

Warning, revelation of what this is may cause irrepairable sanity degradation. Do not view the following spoiler unless you are prepared for the very depths of All Girls Want Bad Boys and Draco in Leather Pants;

Its Columbiner Fapfic. The rest is worse and even more tasteless.

edited 3rd Feb '15 8:24:01 PM by NickTheSwing

SapphireBlue from California Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Drift compatible

#1637: Feb 3rd 2015 at 9:03:39 PM

WELL THEN. :/

I'd say it was one of those 2edgy4u types off Deviant ART, but I'm not sure even they'd go that far.

Pykrete NOT THE BEES from Viridian Forest Since: Sep, 2009

NOT THE BEES

#1638: Feb 5th 2015 at 7:11:35 PM

Well, apparently we've got a theme of horrible mass murderers today.

"So the Elements of Harmony divided by the sun and moon, and the princesses of Equestria, equal Hitler," Twilight said flatly.

"That sounds like either the beginning of a bad joke or serious accusations against our current regime," Rarity observed.

Seriously what is it with ponyfic and Hitler

edited 5th Feb '15 7:12:11 PM by Pykrete

SpartyMcFly Military Grade Shitposter from Not where he should be Since: Nov, 2010 Relationship Status: Get out of here, STALKER

Military Grade Shitposter

#1639: Feb 6th 2015 at 3:39:46 AM

We kicked his ass so hard his legacy has been reduced to a punchline in fan stories about tiny horses.

"Seven is here too, dressed like the concept of choosing clothes that look nice together was an arcane secret far beyond their grasp."

NickTheSwing Since: Aug, 2009

#1640: Feb 6th 2015 at 3:36:43 PM

There was one FIM Fic I remember seeing that involved Hitler using the Spear of Destiny and a legion of animatronic ponies to invade Equestria.

It even included a Villain Song called "Golden Blond Perfection". It was simultaneously Hitler gloating about his (temporary) triumph and also realizing no matter how he wins, he won't ever be the "perfect Aryan" he views as "ideal".

SapphireBlue from California Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: Drift compatible

#1641: Feb 7th 2015 at 8:02:16 PM

WHAT.

NickTheSwing Since: Aug, 2009

#1642: Feb 7th 2015 at 11:24:42 PM

It was very oddly well written.

Laughable subject matter, but very strangely well written, verbose, and with no spelling errors. It was no troll fic.

Pykrete NOT THE BEES from Viridian Forest Since: Sep, 2009

NOT THE BEES

#1643: Feb 8th 2015 at 11:13:39 AM

I'm pretty sure any musical involving Hitler and/or Nazis and isn't Sound of Music automatically counts as a trollfic regardless of grammatical proficiency.

This fandom does have a propensity toward a) musical theater and b) weird shit. The intersection is often hilarious.

Right, plus other exceptions. In any case, I doubt any of them are fanfics.

edited 9th Feb '15 10:22:34 AM by Pykrete

ABNDT Nightmare Muse from Last seen trolling Elesh Norn Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: You cannot grasp the true form

Nightmare Muse

#1644: Feb 8th 2015 at 2:36:13 PM

Don't forget Cabaret and The Producers.

Panhandling sign glued to hands. Need $5 for solvent.

BearyScary Since: Sep, 2010 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]

#1645: Feb 10th 2015 at 3:06:53 AM

I can't help but wonder if that Supernatural fic wasn't supposed to poke some fun at the SPN anime, but then the author got distracted by cheese or something and went way off the deep end.

I liked it better when Questionable Casting was called WTH Casting Agency

carbon-mantis Collector Of Fine Oddities from Trumpland Since: Mar, 2010 Relationship Status: Married to my murderer

Collector Of Fine Oddities

#1646: Feb 11th 2015 at 4:02:50 PM

Fandom: Barack Obama/Hotdog

Obama's hands returned to the hot dog, reverently cupping its buns and stroking its length. "You're so beautiful," Obama whispered, and feathered a thumb over a tomato slice.

Pykrete NOT THE BEES from Viridian Forest Since: Sep, 2009

NOT THE BEES

#1647: Feb 14th 2015 at 1:12:51 AM

Luna hefted up her golden cross and dipped the sharpened end of it into some garlic dipping sauce typically used for pizza but was now instead about to be dipped into the living dead.

You know, I always wondered what to do with the leftover dipping sauce. Now I know.

BearyScary Since: Sep, 2010 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]

#1648: Feb 25th 2015 at 4:26:44 PM

I liked it better when Questionable Casting was called WTH Casting Agency

NickTheSwing Since: Aug, 2009

#1649: Feb 25th 2015 at 11:29:32 PM

DAMBIDOOR shrieked as Hari unleshed Anti-GG forces aganst the G Gers incl Rawn Weasley annd that Guy Who Is Not Edward Cullen. DUMBDOOR shouted at Chirs-can and vladmaort, "WE NEEDS MOAR GG FOHCES, REHKRUIT TWITTAH!!!" Chiris also brought in CHRS MOM who wuz alzo a muhsive dinosaur. "Honey I'll eat your enemies!!!!" She shooted!! OH NO!

I dug through Tumblr for this.

Pykrete NOT THE BEES from Viridian Forest Since: Sep, 2009

NOT THE BEES

#1650: Feb 26th 2015 at 5:25:45 PM

If you lowered yourself to digging through Tumblr did you honestly expect to find anything else :|

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