Would you date someone who has different religious beliefs?

I don't know, I guess I need a hell of a lot of experience for me to truly make my mind up.

Welp, I'm an agnostic atheist and I've been dating a Muslim girl seriously for over a year now, and it's worked out fine. Neither one of us has a problem with the other's beliefs, so you know, whatever. There's literally no reason to get bent out of shape over it. The only way it's impacted my life at all is that I don't get to eat pork as much as I'd like to. Pretty small sacrifice to make. If we get married (as a thought experiment, too young to start making actual plans ), I'd have no issue making it a Muslim ceremony and having our hypothetical kids also be raised Muslim. If I were to rediscover Christianity, I'm sure we could talk it out and come to a compromise like rational people. There's really no reason to make a big deal out of it.

Our families probably won't like it, but I'd be lying if I said I gave even the tiniest of fucks what anyone but her and myself thinks of our relationship.

So, yeah, I would, I am, and there's no reason anyone can't.

Yes. Does it even matter?

Well, it depends. I probably wouldn't be so happy with a supporter of the Westboro Baptist Church. Or some Stalin-like atheist.

^ But would that be due to their religious beliefs explicitly, or due to the facet of their personality which causes them to, say, support the WBC?

Little bit of both, although people who believe such things don't have to be assholes in general. I don't respect beliefs like that at all.

The more I have thought on this topic, the more I believe it would all end in tears. Not that it's anything but a thought experiment as I already have an (agnostic) girlfriend.

It depends on the extent of their beliefs - pretty much every religious individual I know is very reasonable about it and several such individuals are among the smartest people I know. If they happened to be of the variety who disregarded/rejected/derided science in favour of religion, was determined to force their beliefs onto others, or was otherwise fundamentalist, that's an automatic no. I admit I would gravitate much more toward other irreligious/atheistic individuals - after all, is it not human nature to gravitate toward those of a similar persuasion? Though, if they were particularly militant in their atheism odds are the same situation as with an overtly religious individual would apply...

Would there be problems down the road should a relationship with a religious individual last particularly long? Probably, but I'm not working under the assumption of that ever being the case.

edited 15th Dec '11 6:33:21 PM by PerplexingArticulator

Seconded, entirely.

You seeing anyone?

"But would that be due to their religious beliefs explicitly, or due to the facet of their personality which causes them to, say, support the WBC?"

Where is the line drawn? At which point do supporting intolerance and disrespecting the dead cease to be owed to one's character?

edited 15th Dec '11 8:25:16 PM by kashchei

I would and could. Although I think I'd have a rough time dating a fundamentalist. A lot of my friends are Christian fundamentalists that belief that if you don't believe that Christ is your Lord and Savior, you're going to hell, which I think would be rough to deal with. I can agree to disagree on a lot of things, even that, but that would still be their mindset on me, and potentially any kids that come into the picture. Not to mention family members and friends and such.

My own religion would be hard to date into, primarily because I've had bad experiences with them in general in the past, and have developed a few prejudices. I find other religions incredibly fascinating; that's a great topic for conversation in my mind.

It wouldn't be easy. As a Christian, like this guy says, I have a rather strict belief in what happens to people who aren't. And to be honest, I don't really identify myself as being part of any denomination; I read the Bible, take the "do not kill, do not lust, do not steal, believe in Christ, teach people about Him, etc. etc.", don't have any further "rules" that some denominations feel necessary to add, and that's it. And if I were going to date someone, I'd probably know them and they'd know me well enough that our beliefs wouldn't conflict much. So... non-Christian, no, too difficult, Bible says it's a bad idea, and it's pretty obvious why. Another denomination, ehhhh, maybe, as long as it doesn't cause too many problems.

edited 23rd Dec '11 9:17:36 PM by OrKuunArQenByundis

The majority of friction between people with different beliefs is not caused by the beliefs themselves. It's the way they are expressed.

As an atheist, I can and do get along well with religious people of all sorts who are respectful, independent, and low-key about their beliefs. And as long as they don't see religious differences as an obstacle or a sign of wrongness or whatever, I would date them.

But I would never get along with someone who felt the need to bludgeon me over the head with their beliefs at every opportunity and shoehorn me into what they think is the best way to express it, not even another atheist.

Based on religious beliefs alone, I'd have a rather limited gene pool (since roughly half of my friends are Christian and have shown interest in matchmaking before they learned I was already in one). But based on attitude, I'd only be leaving out the extremes.

edited 23rd Dec '11 9:45:04 PM by Leradny

In a word, yes, yes I would.

Well, I wouldn't date a woman like my mother...

As I said earlier, I would. In fact, I am currently: DG is a rather hardcore atheist and I'm a deist (or agnostic, depending on how you define it). We discuss religion all the time and have been happy for a while now. Whether it is a big deal or not depends on supporting aspects of a person, which define compatibility independent of specific beliefs.

To be fair, DS, I would say that deism, atheism, agnosticism, pantheism etc. etc. pose no significant obstacles to relationships due to no specific creed (with all the baggage that implies) being involved.

edited 25th Dec '11 3:55:23 AM by pagad

I've probably said this before, but I would. They'd have to be able to deal gracefully with my faith, though - for example, my family always goes to Christmas mass together. It would be nice if I could bring my significant other to things like that without them conspicuously rolling their eyes or sneering at every other phrase the priest says.

edited 25th Dec '11 4:10:57 AM by LoniJay

Pantheism can have creeds related to it. Or at least the religion that said pantheistic God belongs to. Like Hinduism which is...a lot of things. Jainism too is pantheistic. It's also monotheistic, polytheistic, deistic (if I recall right) and atheistic. Probably panentheistic too.

My panentheism doesn't really play much into things for myself so that's not really an obstacle. In theory the other parts of my belief could but they don't much. Yay. Though the "No touching me at all" rule for holidays kind of bums her out but that's all.

Such rudeness on their part would probably mean you'd never get together in the first place

Protip: Don't bring people to things where they would want to roll their eyes in the first place. As hard as it is for you to have them roll their eyes, it's harder for them to be in a situation where they'll be rolling their eyes.

Yes. I see no reasons not to. Of course, there are specific beliefs and attitudes that would make me incompatible with someone, and some of these attitudes are common among people with certain religious beliefs, but it is the specific attitudes, not general proclaimed religion that matters.

For example, I would not date someone who thinks that men should rule over women, or who believes in fixed gender roles. This attitude is more common among religious people than among irreligious, and for a significant number of people this attitude is religiously motivated. But there are number of people who follow the very same religions and do not share this attitude, and I would have no problem dating them.

I'd also expect respect for my beliefs or lack thereof, but that goes without saying. After all, if two people cannot respect each other, I can't see their romance ending in anything but disaster.

Anyone who would give me grief for not going to church-or try and get me to go to their church for special occasions-would be a no go.

I get enough of that from my mother.

It's one hour out of the entire year. I wouldn't think that would be too much to ask - I wouldn't even care if they slept through it, or gazed into space daydreaming, so long as they didn't mock. And I'm n going to force them, either, it would just be nice.

That was just an example, though. The truth is that faith is going to pop up in our shared life with some regularity, and if they can't deal with that respectfully then we're not going to get along. I wouldn't ask for participation or agreement, just respect.

The last thing I want is to announce "Hey honey, I'm going to mass now, see you later," and have them reply "Sure, have fun talking to your imaginary friend," or something. that sort of thing might be funny the first few times, but I'm pretty sure that after a couple of months it's going to cause tensions.

edited 25th Dec '11 4:59:18 PM by LoniJay

It's not about the time expenditure. It's the fact that asking someone to go shows a complete lack of understanding of why they're not going in the first place.

Though, to be fair, my attitude in that regards is largely because my mother-the person who currently tries to badger me into going to church any occasion she can-is a "Give an inch, take a mile" type of person.

edited 25th Dec '11 5:01:15 PM by TheyCallMeTomu