How exactly do you write Female on Male rape?

Rape can happen in a lot of different ways.

There's psychological rape, where the rapist slowly whittles down the person's psyche until they give in to their demands of sex.

There's physical rape, where the rapist attacks the person, knocks them down, and has their way.

There's emotional rape, where a close friend or relative is the rapist, and due to the person not wanting to disappoint them, they give in.

Any one of these can also be combined.

In my experience (Which is thankfully minimal) people tend to react worse to emotional rape, because of the trust they had with the rapist. Meaning, they keep it to themselves, bottle it up, hoping it'll go away, and eventually they become a complete wreck.

Though, a tough person, someone who's self-confident, may react worse to physical rape, because they feel they should have been able to fight back. Reaction depends on the person, is what I'm getting at.

Note: I tried very hard to not use the word "rapee"

Rape is horrific any way IMO...I don't see how the fact that getting raped could be more horiffic, no matter how it happened..And to the person that said people can't feel like whores..Stfu.

I'm a rape victim. And I'm struggling everyday, just last Friday night I had a panic attack that lasted for an hour. I forget where I was at the time and pushed my boyfriend away screaming 'don't touch me!' I feel like he's too good for me and I feel used and washed up and like a disgusting whore. I don't like myself very much and sometimes I think it's my fault for being gullible and stupid enough to put myself in that situation. I was raped. I'm sure of two men that did it, but I don't know if there were more...I was the only woman there...I don't want to remember.I was dating one of them..He invited me to a party, I said 'I don't know' at first..He assured me that other females would be there...I talked about with my family, they said 'sure, go ahead.' I go...No other women ever showed up. They kept reassuring me 'oh they'll show up they'll show up' And then the guy I was dating started rubbing on me, and I said , 'what are you trying to accomplish by touching me?' In a joking manner..Then as soon as I said that he got on top of me and was really forceful and really hard and I couldn't get up even though I tried. I started crying and I told him to stop and all he said was 'Are you seriously crying?' I remember him getting up and I fell off the couch. Then the other guy a few mins later came up behind me, I was still just lying there....He started feeling me up, and then he started raping me...This time I didn't fight...I didn't scream....I didn't do anything. I just gave up. And I heard one of their friends say , 'If she remembers this she could get you guys for rape.' After the other guy was done..He was married, too..The other guy that did it...I remember throwing up...And then I blacked out..No one helped me..Or even tried to..All I remember is waking up the next day and not knowing where I was...I had been moved to a different place..I had bruises on my legs and I couldn't lift my left shoulder up...I've never felt like such a whore and so dirty and disgusting in my life...I've thought about killing myself...I gave up up on everything for a while, just stayed in bed and stared at the wall. Even today I don't like going anywhere by myself..And if I'm alone for too long I get a little uneasy..I used to get frightened, it's not so much being scared anymore..It's feeling uneasy and paranoid when I'm by myself for too long...I had a friend who didn't believe me..He kinda hinted around it but he didn't want to come out and say it..Later on that day he was rough-housing around with me, and picked up and threw me on my back and climbed on top of me and said 'try to get me off you' and at first I was just like 'haha real funny get up' But then when I realized that I couldn't get him off me..I panicked, I don't really remember hitting him, but I do remember screaming and screaming. And I was so mad at him afterwards..I'm not his friend anymore..But apparently, I hit him because his arms got really bruised. I don't know...The first time I had sex with my boyfriend, I didn't want to, but I was afraid to say 'no' and my body froze up and I couldn't talk..When I told him afterwards, he was so mad...Mad that I couldn't tell him..He told me that it's not about sex and if I didn't want anything to just say so and not be afraid...He's paying for me to see a therapist now...There's nothing more horrific than rape..And it took my life over..I'm trying to get it back.. =/

And my boyfriend was molested as a little boy and he relates to everything I'm feeling..He said so..So no, it's no different for a man who was sexually assaulted than a woman IMO.

edited 22nd Nov '11 3:53:31 AM by keiriinu

Not can't - shouldn't. The thread for personal issues is here.

I wish I could give you two a hug.

If you want it to be as horrific as possible, then I think physical force. I don't know what genre you are using, but in fantasy or sci-fi you could write about some kind of temporary paralysing agent being used on the victim and then go on to describe how he was stimulated against his will and then raped while conscious but unable to move. There would be opportunity for graphic detail there.

Other ways that would come across as less shocking but still easily defined cases would be by use of a "love potion" or by coma rape.

Hope that helps.

Thread Hop.

In addition to what everyone else said, being confused-as-shit enough is going to do a number on your ability to fight. If you don't know what's going on or why it's happening, you're not going to know how to react or what to do.

Since most men aren't raised with the "what to do if you're about to get raped" scenario, a lot of them don't even have the concept of "If I don't want to have sex, I need to run or fight them off" built into their psyche.

There's also the notion that rapists are all violent attackers who are really obviously trying to rape you, when as mentioned before, most of them would be someone you trust and care about, who knows you well enough to manipulate you into doing something you know you don't want. Combine that with most societies' Would Not Hit a Girl etiquette and simultaneous All Men Are Perverts or I'm a Man; I Can't Help It stereotypes, and you've got a really bad combination.

Moreover, men often consciously focus on the act of rape (having sex) as opposed to the underlying reason for rape (dominance over something else). This is why male rape victims are often dismissed with "YOU GOT FREE SEX, WHOO" comments as opposed to female victims, who are immediately seen as... well, victims. Who got overpowered by someone.

Yes, it's a huge Double Standard.

edited 21st Jul '12 10:30:51 AM by Sharysa

I think you could honestly write a female-on-male rape scene the way you could write a male-on-female. Overpowering can work, if A) the woman is stronger (unusual, but not nonexistent) or B) The mad doesn't fight hard enough (emotional connection, Wouldn't Hit a Girl, etc.). But you could also go for the "drugged out" route. Having a woman get a man drunk to sleep with him against his will is a less-explored option (I saw it in Desperate Housewives once, and only then).

For the purposes of fiction, it could be a good idea to make the man in a loyal relationship of some sort with another woman, to make it clear as possible that he would not have consented to sex with the rapist.

This thread is ancient, and about half of the posters here (including the OP) have either left or been banned.

What I'm saying is, this thread should be closed. If someone wants to start a new one... sure, whatever.