The TV Tropes Vending Machine

Out comes popcorn! Not bad at all!

I shall insert... lemonade!

You get lemons. Incendiary lemons. With which to burn life's house down.

I insert a small effigy of Gabe Newell.

You get a terrible online game store.

I insert a vintage guitar.

you get a guitar pick with the exact same mass as the guitar

in goes the script to the sideways house sketch

You get said sideways house.

I drill a hole into the machine.

edited 5th Aug '15 9:37:46 PM by TroperNo9001

You fall unconscious because nobody can find out how it works. NOBODY

I insert a loaf of bread.

You get a toaster that toasts toast. There is no toast, though.

I insert toast.

You get burnt toast. Sorry!

I insert a bowler hat, umbrella, a suit, and of course a bit of British class.

You get a clone of Winston Chruchill. Of course, he's not an adult yet.

I insert a length of string.

edited 6th Aug '15 12:36:23 AM by Inceptiond

You get invisible red string.

I insert an adorable infant no more than three months of age.

He gets aged up into a school child.

I insert a crowbar.

You get a crow and and empty candy bar wrapper. The crow ate it, apparently.

I insert an empty candy bar wrapper.

You get a Golden Ticket, which entitles you to a special tour of Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, which is still fictional.

I insert an Oompa-Loompa.

You get Willy Wonka himself.

I insert a DVD copy of Wreck It Ralph.

The machine glitches it up. Is that a good thing?

I insert some shredded paper.

You get a sheet of paper.

I insert Patrick Macnee, a bowler hat, and a umbrella.

Bumped to remind people that this thread still exists.

You get Colin Baker.

I insert a burning witch.

You get a burning wizard!

I insert a gold coin.

you get five gold coins! which are each worth a fith of the original coin's monetary value.

i insert a tachi

You get a katana.

I insert Sun Ra.

You get an Egyptian sun god.

I cry waterfalls into the machine.

Lava comes pouring out of the machine.

I insert a bunch of textbooks.

You get an encyclopedia on CD-ROM.

I insert a vial of Blair's 16 Million reserve hot sauce.

You get a bottle of Mike Nelson's extra bold RICOCHEEEEET Bar-B-Q Sauce.

I insert a rain cloud.