Jamais vu
>Retrieve arms from chest
UN JOUR JE SERAI DE RETOUR PRÈS DE TOI
>Retrieve arms from chest
You see no chests here, and even if there were you most certainly would not need to retrieve your arms from them.
You're a chivalrous kind of guy, not a base pervert! Perish the thought.
>
Jamais vu
>Put on lipstick
UN JOUR JE SERAI DE RETOUR PRÈS DE TOI
>Put on lipstick
You deplete a use from the tube of lipstick and work your lips back and forth to blend in the color. It is a hot, neon green, thoroughly unnatural in combination with your rugged, handsome looks. Germaine stares at you and shies away with a discomforted snort. She's clearly not one for...
>B)
...horsing around.
>
Jamais vu
>Take the horsey to the stable.
UN JOUR JE SERAI DE RETOUR PRÈS DE TOI
>Take the horsey to the stable.
You take Germaine to the stable. The stableboy stares at your green-lipped countenance with the kind of shock normally reserved in these parts for accusations of incest, adultery, or plain drag-down murder, and then informs you that stabling your horse is ten fightdollars per day. Ten. That's as many as a hundred tenths. And that's a steep rate.
Do you stable Germaine?
>
Jamais vu
>Haggle
UN JOUR JE SERAI DE RETOUR PRÈS DE TOI
King Everlong
> Pony up the fee, but steal something as he is counting the money.
I vent my anger on all angles. I'd strangle angels if they let me.
>Haggle
Being a shrewd southerner, you are particularly attached to your fightdollars, and so you try to use your winning Knight Errant charisma to whittle him down. However, this is the same charisma that got you sent on a legendary snipe hunt, so you don't do too well.
>Pony up the fee, but steal something as he is counting the money.
You pony up the fee. You now have 144 fightdollars. That's as many as twelve twelves. You don't rob him, though; you're chivalrous, remember? Stealing would be beneath you. Absolutely.
Acquired x1 sack of oats.
Shh.
>
Jamais vu
>Stroll into the saloon like Daniel Craig in that one movie
UN JOUR JE SERAI DE RETOUR PRÈS DE TOI
>Stroll into the saloon like Daniel Craig in that one movie
You exit the stable and cross the street into the saloon, which you enter like someone you've never heard of in a thing you've never seen anything like.
The imitation is nonetheless passable. A roomful of eyes glance up at you, lose interest, and return to what they were doing before.
The innards of the saloon are smoky and dim, lit by candles in convenient alcoves. A number of shady characters lurk at the bar, perched on rickety barstools, and the common room is filled up with a well-abused pool table. Two men circle it, engaged in a slow, measured game, their pool cues wielded with all the precision of surgical knives. A number of scantily-dressed ladies lurk around the room, mingling with the clientele; most of them seem to be dirt farmers, the foremost occupation in Bunghole. Dirt fish trophies festoon the wall above the bar, and the bartender is a scarred, heavyset man that serves drinks with obvious gusto.
A wanted poster is nailed to the wall, featuring a fierce, muscular man with a hydraulic arm sketched all in charcoal. 'WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE', it boldly declaims: 'NAPALM JAPES. 5,000 FIGHTDOLLAR REWARD. COLLECT IN CAPITAL WITH CLEAR PROOF OF KILL OR CAPTURE.'
(To be continued in a while...)
>
edited 15th Aug '11 4:41:28 AM by ShadowWarden
Gristknife
>Inquire of scantily clad ladies how make-up may be used to the greatest advantage.
edited 6th Sep '11 10:40:11 PM by HungryJoe
Charlie Tunoku is a lover and a fighter.
Actually, it's Euphinatrix.
pobody's nerfect
>Swagger over to the pool table, politely borrow a cue from one of the men, and try to sink all the remaining balls in one shot.
MEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
cannot into space
>Wipe off lipstick, then punch whoever is sitting next to you
Go play Kentucky Route Zero. Now.
R.I.P. Stuntel: 1-9-2012
-Find something long, hard, sharp and thin, take out the lipstick, then combine the two to create a hidden blade of sorts.-
Stuff happens. Post it here so we can laugh at you >=D
cannot into space
just noticed the date of the last postby the game runner. Will pm him to find out if this is still going on.
Go play Kentucky Route Zero. Now.
R.I.P. Stuntel: 1-9-2012
If it isn't, or if you don't get an answer, i vote for hijacking the thread. I could act as a GM (for lack of a better word) if nobody else will
Stuff happens. Post it here so we can laugh at you >=D
>Inquire of scantily clad ladies how make-up may be used to the greatest advantage.
Using the same charismatic smooth-talking that landed you on this legendary snipe hunt, you ask the ladies how you can use your tube of lipstick to greatest advantage.
They are not one for discussing trade secrets, however, especially not with a southerner.
>Kick northern wall
Dumb move! You pull a muscle, and everyone gives you strange looks.
Acquired x1 limp.
>Swagger over to the pool table, politely borrow a cue from one of the men, and try to sink all the remaining balls in one shot.
Your ability to swagger is somewhat impacted by your inability to walk straight, so you waddle like an infant. An infant with inner ear problems. The strange looks continue as you employ your charisma to acquire a cue from one of the men, ignoring his protests as you line up the best shot ever.
Unfortunately, they don't have pool in the south, so you turn out to be pretty bad at it. You barely graze the cue ball, which promptly goes spinning away into one of the corner pockets.
This is about the time you notice that a circle of sorts has converged around you. You're getting very dirty looks, muscles are being flexed, and the pool cue is snatched out of your hand and brandished at you.
Think fast.
>
edited 7th Sep '11 5:46:34 PM by ShadowWarden
Actually, it's Euphinatrix.
>Declare that the South shall once again rise
I am become Death, Destroyer of Miniputts.
cannot into space
Pull out your handy waterfowl, and throw him at someone!
Go play Kentucky Route Zero. Now.
Gristknife
>Teach them a Southern drinking game.
Charlie Tunoku is a lover and a fighter.
R.I.P. Stuntel: 1-9-2012
>Take the lipstick tube, then ram it into they eye of whoever stands closest to you. Run past while s/he cringes in pain.
edited 8th Sep '11 1:39:20 AM by neobullseye
Stuff happens. Post it here so we can laugh at you >=D
same old me
> Distract them with a mesmerizing dance and slowly inch yourself towards the door.
mario is red, i am green, i try my best, but everyone's mean
Okay, for those of you familiar with Errant Quest II, this is 1) not a continuation of that game and 2) Errant Quest II is not coming back. I acknowledge it, in the words of Hussie, my initial inspiration, as a failed experiment. While aspects of it were brilliant and enjoyable, it sprawled out everywhere like a kudzu vine, got too complicated, and I was unable to keep the notes necessary to render it operational. However, I want to run another quest thread, using what I've learned from Errant Quest II, and I want you guys to join me on what I hope is a complete, thorough, crazy, zany journey.
What to do should be self-evident.
—-
>BEGIN GAME
You are a Knight Errant from the distant southlands. You have been sent on a quest to find a legendary sword named Just Intent that was once used in battle by the founder of your order, Sir Leo Canem, but was lost upon his disappearance several centuries ago. Expeditions until now have yielded up nothing interesting, leading many to believe that it's all a myth.
You got this job because your superiors hate you.
You stand at the crossroads in a small hamlet named Bunghole. It has a general store, a stable, a saloon, and a smattering of houses. Your horse, a loyal and resilient mare named Germaine, stands by you. You are the only living things out on the street, probably owing to the relentless sun and the fact that it's the early afternoon.
>INVENTORY
What do?
>
edited 15th Aug '11 1:49:38 AM by ShadowWarden