Conspiracy theories (meta)

All proven conspiracies I know of fall under one of two categories: a) they were confined to very trustworthy people in a relatively short timespan or b) they had the whistle blown on their asses. And even most of those in Column A were revealed the instant they succeeded at their goals.

So, for instance, the one where thirteen banking families have been pulling the strings of the world for generations... I mean, thirteen families, three generations, and not a single black sheep? Give me a break.

edited 22nd Jul '11 7:14:44 AM by DomaDoma

I found this on the Wayback machine. It's from whale.to, which was the reason Scopie's Law was invented. (Citing whale.to as a credible source automatically makes you lose the debate... and gets you laughed out of the room.)

What. The. Fuck. Someone had way too much time on their hands.

The Last King Of Scotland? Sin City? Discipline?

Wow that was hillarious.

Yeah, the guy who wrote it has some pretty detailed ideas of how to discipline "Beta" women to be cat-like sex slaves.

Submissive catgirls... mmmmm

I'm sold. Who are these illuminati and how can I marry into the family? I don't mind if it's a man.

Sorry, according to the document, they also commit incest. Just to keep it in the family, if you know what I mean.

But they'll die of inn-breeding! Don't they read Harry Potter?

edited 22nd Jul '11 3:23:13 PM by GoodGuyGreg

They're reptiles, remember? Their race doesn't have that problem.

Aren't there lizards that reproduce asexually because the entire species is female?

Okay, this was my favorite part:

"F. Foundation Step 1.

Preparation of the Children by Spiritual Preparations & In Utero Traumatization—The Moon Children

The preparation for someone to be programmed also concerns the ability of a person to be demonized. Generational satanic families are sold out to Satan, and their children belong to Satan in a way that non-generational children do not. Because of the generational curses, because of the genetic bent toward the occult, because of the generational demonic forces, the Illuminati children are very good candidates for Monarch programming. Part of the programming includes the layering in of demonic forces, and the participation in blood rituals in order to draw in the most powerful of demons. An indepth review about this important but controversial subject is in chapter 10.

The Moonchild rituals are the rituals to demonize a fetus. However, the demons that are invoked are not the small ones but very powerful ones. In working with victims of this programming, it is clear that high level demons were placed within these people at very early ages, many of them it is believed were demonized before they were born by rituals like the Moonchild rituals. Blood sacrifices and human sacrifices are always required for this level of magic."

What.

So there is a Satan gene? Wow. Oh boy, we're cookin' with gas here. This shit is full-on wingnut.

There is a surprising amount of detail here, and the way they talk about it makes it seem like this is relatively common knowledge.

edited 22nd Jul '11 3:29:21 PM by Gault

The site is widely considered to be the craziest thing on the net, possibly more than Time Cube. Time Cube Man only focuses on his weird esoteric thing, but whale.to is a repository of every conspiracy theory you can think of. Seriously, check their main page. They even have a copy of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion on there.

Oh, add Blue Exorcist then...

By all acouts, awesome Paranoia Fuel. Fridge Logic can ba slow to kick in...

edited 22nd Jul '11 3:49:29 PM by GoodGuyGreg

I discovered it a year ago, and I still can't find out what would motivate someone to write so much stupid crap. I read once that it's mostly written by a man who is a shepherd, but I don't know for sure.

Still. It's technically got more concentrated crazy than Time Cube.

EDIT: His name is John Scudamore. I still don't know if he's a shepherd or not, though.

edited 22nd Jul '11 4:02:09 PM by LilPaladinSuzy

I visited that site. The shear amount of crazy that eminates from the pages is nearly litterally mind numbing. It is like someone bottled all the crazy and tried to concentrate it in one spot.

Ok that is the sort of stuff I would be an ultra sceptic about.

edited 23rd Jul '11 3:19:23 PM by TuefelHundenIV

Yeah, that happened to me too.

Funny thing though - The Protocols of the Elders of Zion has been proven time and time again to be a forgery. In fact, it's basically an adaptation of a document that was originally ripping on Napoleon, except the new "author" (who is the laziest anti-semite EVAR) just replaced "Napoleon" with "t3h j00z", and plagiarized from "Dialogue in Hell Between Machiavelli and Montesquieu" (which is, ironically, considered to contain elements of plagiarism itself).

I have to say my preferred conspiracy reading is a lot more tame by comparison.

This whale.to quote is an interesting example of a trend I've often observed with hardcore conspiracy theorists: they don't seem to understand the concept of humor.

For a moment after reading that quote, I wondered if it was a Poe.

But... nah. That's impossible. Nobody could make this shit up.

No it takes a special kind of crazy to buy into theories like that much less come up with them. I am still trying to point out to my father the U.N. is incapable of world domination under some imaginary one world government body.

Yeah, I know, right? If you know anything about the UN you know that it isn't really an independent self-sufficient organization. It's a terrible shame, that.

I am kinda glad it is not a truly unified body. It means they have to try and actually work together instead of simply agreeing on everything.

"I read once that it's mostly written by a man who's a shepherd..."

What Do You Mean, It's Not Symbolic?

edited 23rd Jul '11 12:42:02 AM by captainbrass2

Speaking of R.A.Wilson, Illuminati is itself the epitome of Poe's law. Or is it?

Don't encourage him. He already thinks that he's so far above you stupid, brainwashed, pathetic sheeple.