Pony Fanfiction Thread

Alright! I finally finished a draft of the first chapter of Queen. I'd really like it if you guys could look it over and give me some pointers. If you do, the second half of the chapter is really rough and going to undergo some heavy re-writes so don't bother with SPAG there. What I really need is another eye to make sure I got all the relevant ideas and events in.

@SCM: It has potential, but first, think about what other differences that ponies have from humans that would make a difference. Otherwise, as said, it wouldn't need to be a ponyfic.

edited 20th Nov '14 11:42:47 PM by Sereg

Meanwhile, I am about 1500 words into a scene about how Democracy Is Flawed and just not right at all for ponies.

I am hoping to see readers agree up to a point rather than dismiss the idea out of hand.

Tough sell.

Bad writing red flag #78: your username is the same as your protagonist's name.

Do you actually have a list of those?

Also, I remember naming my Finmfiction account after the protagonist of my first fic, rather than the reverse. Of course, critics assumed the opposite.

I don't keep a list. Though one Schorl Tourmaline stuck in my mind after I tried reading one of their fics (they write bland porn featuring a brothel[?] run by one Schorl Tourmaline).

My previous post was prompted by a fic in the updated stories feed; Crystal's Wishes, by Crystal Wishes, starring Crystal Wishes. With a cover featuring a picture of Crystal Wishes, that is also the writer's avatar.

That's totally not a red flag or anything.

I'm more alarmed by the hockey glurgey title and bad pun than about the Author Avatar-ity.

EDIT: Nevermind.

edited 21st Nov '14 10:51:57 AM by MetaFour

Precisely.Naked baby in a blue pool swimming after a dollar.

edited 21st Nov '14 10:55:02 AM by TheHandle

Wait, what?

He's referencing the cover art of Nirvana's album Nevermind.

I'm no fan of Nirvana but I admit that got a chuckle out of me.

And Clever, "username = OC name" should be way higher up the list of red flags.

The list of red flags isn't numbered by severity.

Today, I had read a story that made me think "some people say that it's terrible to have your own self-insert character fall into Equestria, but it's even worse to have a pony fall into the "real world" and shack up with your self-insert."

And then I discovered the guy who wrote the damn thing also wrote a story in which he falls into Equestria. So I guess these people like to run in similar circles.

Is Ponyfall any good? That seems to specifically say there's no shacking up.

I think it's possible to write a good story starring a self-insert... but if you're not creative enough to come up with a new name for your self-insert, you’re probably not the right person to write a good self-insert fic, either.

Ah, I remember the spate of those fics. Bummer, 'cause I'm friends with the author of Ponyfall: Australia.

One of the people involved with the group actually tried to sign me on to write a Cranky Doodle fic, and I might've done it if I weren't a lazy dipshit.

But there were a lot of bad ones. The Celestia one had a big red flag when the story summary felt the need to point out she was a d-cup.

Dusky started as a 90% self-insert who got a bit role that required a pegasus at a time when the show didn't have any background pegasi I wanted to use to fill the role (just Derpy/Ditzy, who already had her own role). The role turned out to be slightly more important than I anticipated and she developed into more of her own character. She'd taken the "Kuroi" part of my name initially, although I renamed her before I started using her in anything serious. Still, I think that more or less qualifies, though I like to think I did a decent job of making her a non-crappy OC.

Well, would it be a self-insert otherwise?

(That said, I put a decent amount of thought into my own ponysona name- not that I'm likely to ever jot down anything involving it. I'm/he's kind of the villain anyway.)

EDIT: ...My copy of Past Sins is here.

edited 21st Nov '14 3:28:09 PM by YamiVizzini

seeing as it's a bunch of adifferent fics by a bunch of different authors, quality varies greatly. Some of them were pretty great (Australia), some of them were okay to good (the AJ, twilight, and rarity ones), some of them were pretty bad (the RD and celestia ones).

And of course I've only seen a chapter of the RD one. (Was morbidly curious how random guy could KO her in self-defense. Turns out it's not easy even when she's still getting used to her new form.)

OH GOD DAMNIT Spider and Magic has a sequel!

Reading Night's favoured child. An AU where NMM has won and takes Twilight as a student.

The perpetual night gives it a very wistful, mysterious vibe.

I like most of that story, except for the backstory worldbuilding. Also, it rarely updates.