The All-Purpose 2814 Fanfiction Thread

Diana of Themyscira had been told a lot of things about 'Man's World' by her sisters. They'd told her that in Man's World, women were weak and oppressed, driven down by cruel and evil men, who reveled in doing so. They talked of the rapine and pillage they had seen, of the evils men had wrought, of their treachery and deceit. They'd spoken of how women had been passed about as conveniences and— that was about as far as she heard before they all looked around nervously and shut up, and no amount of her asking had made them speak more. All her mother had ever said on the subject, if pressed, was that men took something that was precious and joyful and perverted it to bring pain, suffering and dishonor.

Diana figured it had to do with sex. Honestly, they had Sappho's complete works on the island, not to mention everyone was always doing it where they thought she couldn't see. Mother could be so silly sometimes.

Still, she had chosen to accept the Green Lantern girl child's offer to let Diana stay at her home, partly because of said stories, partly because the Hawkgirl (though if anything she looked like she should be a woman. A vain affectation, perhaps?) had not offered, and partly because the only other alternative, sleeping on the Watchtower, made her too nervous to sleep. And after the Green Lantern girl child's impromptu lecture on the dangers of what she called 'decompression' and 'hard vacuum', any sleep would be fraught with nightmares in any case. So she had accepted a sister's invitation to her hearth and home, where she felt safer.

The one in red with the swiftness of Hermes— the Flash— had seemed cheerfully oblivious, but she suspected the other two powerful warriors, the Superman and the Batman, realized she was avoiding them. They said nothing though. She wondered if it was some bit of cunning on their part. But no, that was a dishonorable thought. They had proven themselves honorable warriors, strong brave and even kind. Though the Flash was annoying, it had been in the way of a pup, happily and cheerfully oblivious. His enthusiasm at wanting to be her friend was certainly disarming. She could not conceive they could possibly be capable of the betrayal and evil her sisters had often spoken of. Or perhaps...

Sometimes, when her sisters were in their cups or particularly deep in reminiscences, they told strange stories about men, ones they seemed to try very hard to pretend they don't remember, or didn't exist. Sometimes they would speak as if they fought with men not as enemies but as allies. Once or twice, one of her sisters would mention and old friend or drinking companion or even a lover and they'd speak as if they meant a man, until the realized Diana was there, and hastily say they had misspoken, of course they meant a woman. The one time a sister had made this mistake in front of Diana in her mother's hearing, it had gotten someone sent to isolation to meditate on their mistakes. Diana hadn't seem them for two years.

It probably had to do with sex too.

Were these men like that, the kind her sisters had remembered fondly?

Being taken to the Green Lantern girl child's home had made her wonder. The girl had spoken to her of the importance of her protecting her 'secret identity' on the dizzying journey there as they sat within a vehicle made of green light, shaped by strange sorcery. She had emphasized the strict importance of secrecy, that if her enemies or anyone found out who she really was, her family would be in danger. It took Diana while to realize what the child was getting at and had been offended. They had fought together. Did she think Diana would betray her to her enemies?

“Do you know what my enemies look like?” the girl child had asked pointedly. “Would you know they were my enemies when you tell them?”

It was the fear that had shown in her words when she spoke of danger to her family that had made Diana agree to be placed under this spell. They had been barely glimpsed, barely heard, but the way the child's voice had shook slightly when she spoke of enemies coming to hurt her family had... well, they had reminded Diana almost painfully of her mother.

Had not Themyscira been safe only because it had been secret?

The Green Lantern girl child had done something to her senses. When she had taken off her eye covering, all Diana could see of her face was a strange blur that overlaid her features with a humorously simple set of lines that made a simple but recognizable face. The child had said any member of her family that Diana glimpsed would look the same, and she would not be able to recognize their voices without the strange obscuring enchantment. It had taken her a while to get used to it, mainly because she had taken one look and burst out in laughter.

Pleasantly, meeting the Green Lantern girl child's family had been more similar to meeting the men of their nascent 'Justice League' than anything out of her sister's stories. Everyone, even the men, had been courteous and helpful and had even thanked her for helping fight the invaders. It had occurred to Diana this was the first she had been thanked for her actions.

Nonetheless, the Green Lantern's lessons on what she thought constituted heroism were certainly... odd.

The training exercises to improve one's lungs... all right, even without the speeches, she could see why it would be a good idea to improve oneself in that area when fighting long battles. And even her reasoning that using the speeches as a means of sneaking in final stretches and limbering up for battle made a strange sort of sense. And her habit of very, very loudly calling out what spell she was going to cast she explained to Diana as a ploy to encourage her enemies to unconsciously do the same, allowing her to more easily deal with them. And okay, she was an Amazon, she certainly understood about not tempting fate, because the gods liked a bad joke as much as the next person, and maybe a bit more. But...

Diana fumed in confusion and frustration as their enemy, the Green Lantern girl's foe who called himself the Wild Horse of Chaos (or something. Possibly different grammar was involved) floated into the air, wrapped in light as metal armor appeared out of nowhere, clothing his form and making it look ridiculously more muscled than it actually was.

“Oh!” the Green Lantern commented, rocking back and forth on her heels as she idly tapped the but of her Raging Heart on the ground. “He's added wings. I wonder why, they clash very badly...”

“Green Lantern... sensei,” Diana said. “Please explain to me again why we're not attacking right now when he's mostly naked and vulnerable in midair?”

“Look Diana-chan, it's tradition. Maybe in far off, heathen places like the United States you attack someone while they're transforming, but Uminari is a civilized city. We don't do that kind of thing here!”