Discuss your epic failures.

This is a thread to discuss your biggest epic failures. It can be in real life, a video game, or anything else thats possible to epically fail in. Ok so this afternoon I was hungry. I found some easy to make eggo microwavable chocolate chip mini pancakes in my freezer, I got a bag of 3 out. It didn't tell me how much time to put it in there and since they were frozen so I put them in for 10 minutes. I smelled something burnt and I opened the microwave door and what did I see? Three hard-as-a-rock burnt pancakes with smoke coming out of one of them. Turns out I was only supposed to put them in for about 4 minutes. I'm laughing at it now, but when I first saw that I was like "WHAT THE HELL?". Luckily my future attempts to make pancakes were successful.

edited 12th Jun '11 7:45:56 PM by HappyComputerist

Missing the bus for a third time this month ~

Me. Doing your mom.

Attempting to carry a big thingy. I was half-asleep (so I forgot what I was carrying). Piece the puzzle together.

Microwaved Kraft Dinner (macaroni and cheese) without water. After 6 and half minutes the pasta was black, the microwave was steamig, and the bowl had melted in the bottom. Kitchen smelled for 2 weeks.

Well, there was that time I spit water on the kitchen table because I thought I was in the bathroom and washing my teeth...

In my defense, I was like seven years old, I was tired, and I was thinking about something else (obviously).

edited 13th Jun '11 8:20:34 AM by Carciofus

Dreaming of pissing in an urinal while sleepwalking, and finding out that the sink was completely pissed-up in the morning. There are many other, worse things, but that's the first thing that came to mind - I don't have a good memory for trivial events in my life.

actually pissing in an airplane bathroom sink, mistaking it for a urinal. When I tried looking for the sink, I thought to myself "... fuck." I ran back to my seat and kept my head low.

Thinking that a hobo was holding up drawers (the furniture) while listening to someone recount an event when the person meant to say that the hobo was holding up his drawers (pants).

[1]: I first read that first part as "Microsoft Kraft Dinner". :/

I was in a PE lesson at middle school and needed to have a pee. For reasons I can't really remember I kept putting it off until the lesson ended and we went to get changed. By then it was too late - I lost bladder control and pissed all over another guy's bag. Amazingly, he didn't beat me up for it on the spot and I wasn't mercilessly bullied for it for years afterwards, but it was incredibly embarrassing.

On my first day of school, I couldn't put it off so I crapped my pants. My mom quickly led me to the bathroom, took my pants off and threw them in the bin. Of course, she told me multiple times not to say that to anybody. Of course, being a six year old kid, I couldn't resist the urge and in the middle of my turn at the welcoming ceremony, while I was being greeted by the school staff, shouted at the top of my lungs "I HAVE NO PANTS UNDERNEATH!" I had the reputation of a complete weirdo, both among the staff and students, until the end of the elementary.

edited 13th Jun '11 11:21:46 AM by MilosStefanovic

I once caught Ramen Noodles on fire.... I'm still not entirely sure how.

Also, I'll just quote something I just posted in Random thoughts.

edited 13th Jun '11 11:24:52 AM by Poisonarrow

Also, my first date. I would say more, but then I would probably have to stab myself in shame. Just... just my first date.

Kind of a disgusting experience, so I'll spoilertag it. I'll just describe this from the point of view of the people who saw it: I entered a bathroom stall carrying an empty specimen container and a wooden dipstick. There was a loud shout. I exited the stall with excrement on my face, on my clothing, and in my hair. Further excrement was on the walls, floor, and ceiling of the stall. I didn't even bother trying to explain—I just cleaned myself at the sink, then left the bathroom as fast as humanly possible.

WTH?

(Ignore this. It wasn't epic fail-y enough for this thread.)

edited 15th Jun '11 6:03:18 PM by Haldo

@Feo: Aaand how did this come about?

edited 13th Jun '11 8:12:21 PM by DrunkGirlfriend

@Feo: Either there was a person in your stall, someone forgot to flush, you tried to go to the bathroom while holding the specieman, or the toilet happened to explode on you.

Tried to bend the wooden dipstick to fit in the container. Dipstick unbent, popped out of the container, and went flying across the stall, taking some excrement with it, which splattered all over the place.

I once got done eating a yogurt and absentmindedly threw the yogurt container in the sink and the spoon in the garbage.

What some of you guys call epic failures is just the usual goofy stuff happening in my everyday life, so what does this make me. At best, the Absent-Minded Professor without the brilliant and without the professor, I guess

Ok the stories involving excrements are sort of gross, I grant you this.

I was making chocolate chip cookies for my ma on her birthday and I seriously misread the recipe and severely underdid the needed amount of flour. The end result while tasty had neither the form of or consistency of actual cookies. Also they had a tendency to burn.

Well, I just got done with my first play through of Fate/Stay Night. To get all of the extra little hidden scenes in that game, you have to get all of the possible bad endings, the most notorious of them being Bad End 13, which requires you to purposefully not get close to the character that you're obviously supposed to get close to. As I'm sure you've guessed by now, I got that ending totally on accident. I chose all the choices that I thought the main character ought to do to have a nice, happy life, and lo and behold, I end up getting semi-unintentionally murdered by my trans-dimensional girlfriend. The ironic part about it is that most people have to experiment with several different playthroughs before they figure out how to get that end. I don't know whether that's an epic fail or an epic win, I guess.

Well for one, my love life. Two, my decision to join the Army, specifically Air Defense Artillery.