Dressing like a slut

First of all, it would require a definition. What exactly is "dressing like a slut"? Short skirts, short dresses? High heels? Fishnet stockings? Cleavage? There is no clear border. One woman's party clothes are slutty for another woman and prudish for yet another.So how should I dress to be safe? Do women really should look at every piece of clothing they have and think: 'Can I wear it or will it get me raped?'

In some cultures even a tube top is an inappropriate thing to wear. Does it mean I should avoid tube tops in order to minimalise the risk of being raped from somebody from that culture?

Majority of rape victims is raped by somebody they knew, often in their own house. Majority of rapists do not seek for "slutty" women; they seek for either a specific woman or any woman they can have at the moment. This is information available in police statistics, so I don't get why there are policemen who are saying such things. What they are doing is simply pushing responsibility for what happened on the victims.

As an end to this post, a quite funny little PSA commercial from Scotland: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGnGPAZcsqE

edited 11th Jun '11 2:51:30 PM by Ktosza

Genius. They should air this in every country.

Point well made. I think the 'don't dress like sluts' is probably a rather naive idea of how these things work. I encourage modesty for other reasons but that just personal preference.

Okay, certain behaviors should be discouraged to prevent rape.

What form should this 'discouragement' take? Should we point out certain behaviors and articles of clothing or whatever from a young age and tell children that they might get raped if they try any of them? Should we start asking rape victims what kind of 'signals' they were sending to their rapist, and chastising them if they were sending the wrong one.

agreed

edited 11th Jun '11 2:58:07 PM by Wicked223

No way people should be locked up for wearing no clothes in public.

Well, there is always the chastity belt. Or you could be like me and get some Vagina Dentata installed in the front and a corresponding set for the back.

edited 11th Jun '11 2:59:07 PM by Usht

I've seen plenty of PS As about not being out alone at night, about locking your doors, about carrying mace, or knuckling your keys, and otherwise being alert. Oh, one more going around, being careful while drinking, even aside from binge drinking, not taking a drink from a stranger.

And of course, there are plenty of studies about rapists. I believe the statistics are that you're not as likely to be raped by a stranger as you are by some acquaintance.

If you're referring to the above, never seen a study come to that conclusion. Quick look around the internet comes to 2/3rds being known to the victim, some studies more, some less, but none under a majority.

edited 11th Jun '11 3:09:25 PM by blueharp

I've actually heard quite the opposite as far as who would rape but then again I guess that's one of things that varies by scientist, now isn't it?

That advertisement was brilliant. Nothing a woman is wearing should "send the signal" that she wants to be raped. She either willingly sleeps with a man, or he lets it the fuck go. She is not responsible for controlling your temptation. Sex is either mutual, or it doesn't happen. And this goes for the often ignored or ridiculed female-on-male rape, as well.

"What form should this 'discouragement' take?"

Something along the lines of "don't put his cock in your mouth unless you're fine with going all the way." Of course, rape is still rape, and we should still penalize someone taking advantage of somebody, but it's ludicrous to me that it should be considered a crime equivalent to that against someone who never initiated any sexual contact or shown any willingness in the scenario. Basically, lighter punishment and no sex offender record.

"She is not responsible for controlling your temptation."

Then she shouldn't take active pains to inflame that temptation either, which is why I refer to discontinuing suggestive and promiscuous behavior if you don't wish to put yourself at risk.

edited 11th Jun '11 3:03:40 PM by kashchei

It depends on the age group. For children I think the abuse stats are by someone they "know".

People will comment and criticize the things they see. Of course it's stupid to judge people by the appearance only, but if you wear something 'provocative' you shouldn't be surprised by the reaction you get

I can tell you from my legal studies that depending on the jurisdiction the court may take certain circumstances into account in reducing the sentence. Rarely, though.

edited 11th Jun '11 3:04:53 PM by DanEile

"Of course it's stupid to judge people by the appearance only, but if you wear something 'provocative' you shouldn't be surprised by the reaction you get"

Wolf-whistling is a reaction. Having a man decide that you're fair game for nonconsensual sex is not. So long as we're clear on that.

I also agree with the covering up doesn't help thing. I mean, what if they think you're gorgeous anyway? They might thing you have a cute face, or have a burqa/habit fetish, or something.

Of course, I also think that telling people that masturbation isn't shameful would help, but I'm biased. :D

There's no real difference between ignoring someone's wishes and body sovereignty. whether the victim was trying to initiate sex, or whether they were simply walking down the street. At least, none that I can see.

Definitely, but just wearing something skimpy isn't on the same level as actively being seductive and indicating that you're looking for sex.

Usht: Your comment about toothy vaginas reminds me of the rape x female condom.

At my school, people are not allowed to wear any skirt or shirt that is higher than their knees because it is too "sexually provocative".

That's how subjective "sluttiness" is.

If Shakespeare walked around in the modern day, he would consider all the women to be improperly covered.

And the girls in my school constantly bitched about not being able to wear shorts that barely covered their butts.

>Having a man decide that you're fair game for nonconsensual sex is not.

I wasn't talking about rape. I was talking about verbal reactions. I don't know how did you get this idea, but don't accuse me of justifying rape. I'm not doing it

Bee. Effin' Ess. Everyone has the inalienable right to set the limits of a sexual encounter wherever they want. There is no point at which it magically becomes "unfair" to the partner not to go further, or "only to be expected" that the partner will try to forge ahead without consent.

Beyond that, I'm going to echo what a few others have said and reiterate that "Don't dress like a slut" isn't even meaningful advice (let alone just) unless we have agreed-upon standards for "like a slut." Which is, I daresay, impossible, because there are so many differences of opinions. Also bodies.

It might be helpful to narrow down what kind of assaults they're actually talking about that occur with the defense being "well she was being kinda slutty". The article itself mentioned groping in a club because guys assume it's an invitation to touch. Teaching about that, that touching is never okay without consent regardless of circumstances and specifically bringing up that scenario, might actually make a difference.

Similarly the whole getting a girl drunk to remove her ability to consent thing needs to be hammered home much much harder than it is.

Other than that though, teaching people not to do a crime will only go so far. Teaching prevention techniques to those at risk and that the victim isn't to blame would be the other part of the equation I think.

People were right! Some people don't dress like sluts to attract the opposite sex. Some people do it to tease their same sex partner.

I thought it just common courtesy to ask someone before you grope them. If they say they're okay with it, fondle away. But if they ever say "Stop", then STOP.