Race- Privilege, Relations, Racism, etc.

Most of my relationships have been interracial.

Interesting enough, the most compatibility I had was with a Saudi man and we intentionally stayed just friends. Briefly dated a Persian, that ended very stereotypically. Was involved with a Pakistani, but he was an asshole. (Had nothing to do with his ethnicity and everything to do with him) was pursued by an Indian.

Most of these were because of chance, not for my intentionally setting out to date someone of color. I was the only white girl in most of my classes so my peer group was mostly southeast Asians and Middle Eastern peoples. A few wanted to at least hook up with me because I was a Gori, which sucked.

I think that is the big issue with interracial relationships. Are you with them because of their color and/or culture or because you genuinely like that person?

Aprilla and I have been together for several years now and I am not going to say that him being a black man doesn't factor in our relationship because to a point it does. But it is not a negative factor. Just like my being white does present different instances for him. My son is white and he is already understanding some of the racial issues that can come from a relationship like ours.

EDIT: as an answer to a few of the P Ms I have gotten, all of the girls I dated have been white. That was also just how it happened. You date from your peer group. I went to high school and started college surrounded by white people until I really got into my major.

edited 17th Jul '14 7:50:43 PM by Gabrael

I'm a Sell Out...and other fun facts I've learned about myself since deciding to marry a White Man...

a turban could save a black man a lot of trouble in the Jim Crow South

Very interesting. I still see some of that today. It's almost a cliche of the black girl with straightened hair or extensions talking about how they're "1/5 Cherokee" or whatever just to seem exotic.

ERIC GARNER AND THE PLAGUE OF POLICE BRUTALITY AGAINST BLACK MEN:

I have no words. The video is in the link and it is not for the faint of heart, I'll tell you that.

edited 19th Jul '14 10:20:04 AM by wuggles

9 clueless things white people say when confronted with racism

I love that half the comments on that article are just proving it right.

I've seen all of those lol. That's why I never read the comment section of articles about race unless it's a site that I know has a good reputation for those issues.

Ah, very well said

Women And People Of Color Get Punished For Hiring To Increase Diversity, White Men Get Rewarded

I was afraid crap like that was going on. I'm glad that there are actual numbers on the issueto help spur action.

If a woman or a minority hires another one of "their kind" they are being bias. But a white man is making a great judgment call.

Honest question here: why exactly do we have the phrase "institutional racism" if people insist that racism by its very definition is institutional? Isn't that a bit redundant?

edited 23rd Jul '14 10:06:20 PM by Zennistrad

I believe the key here is that fact that they (white men) are hiring "against type" whereas in the cases here women hiring women and "nonwhites" hiring "nonwhites" is not against type,even though technically that does make the workplace more diverse.

I will note that it says nothing about cases such as say "a white woman hires a person of color" or "a person of color hires a white woman" and that is something that should've been looked at. That's still "diversity" and against type.

That said,it is a ridiculous double standard.

Honest question here: why exactly do we have the phrase "institutional racism" if people insist that racism by its very definition is institutional? Isn't that a bit redundant?

They refer to individual instances, rather than the concept in general. So it's institutional racism when an organisation acts on societal prejudices against a minority, and regular racism when it's just some dude who does it.

I suppose. I guess I'm just struggling to see why this is necessary. I've seen one or two people who have actually been attacked for being white in some of the more toxic social justice spheres online, and the way some people will try to defend this by saying it's "not racism" kind of bothers me.

Like... Why split hairs like that? Why go through such painstaking lengths to minimize the suffering of those who have actually been victims of racial prejudice by saying it's "just prejudice?"

Zenn, without context, none of us can comment on your personal experience. Not to be mean, but for all we know, you could be remembering the events wrong, exaggerating, or making it up. For the sake of good faith, I choose to believe you, but just know that we have no way of accurately commenting on it.

As for why that hair is split, you have to understand that the world is currently eurocentric. European colonialists deliberately created the model of the world we use today for the express purpose of being racist, and their various descendants across the world continue to benefit from that racist model. That is not those descendants' fault, but many "Whites" (as we call them) either refuse to believe it or refuse to lift finger one to change it. Both of those reactions are undesirable.

Just calling out these problems is called "racist" by whites to the point that white persons complaining of racism has two forms: genuine, honest-to-God racism, and "I-can't-enjoy-my-unfair-advantages-anymore" racism. Until we know which one we're dealing with, claims of racism by Whites has to be treated with kid gloves.

edited 24th Jul '14 10:29:03 AM by KingZeal

I'm going to be honest , I cams here just now yo complain about the same thing Zenn is, specifically this http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/if-gay-guys-said-the-stuff-straight-people-say . I don't know why it made me upset, maybe I felt tired of being blamed for the racism perpetrated by other people . But I guess your post gave me some perspective . I can see where this comes from and understand it better now

edited 24th Jul '14 11:30:37 AM by Xopher001

That's not really what I was talking about, though. I don't really believe those videos are "reverse racism" (as much as I hate that term) since they only thing they really do is point out that non-white people do experience these things somewhat regularly. It bothers me a little bit because it drastically oversimplifies things, but since I generally don't consider Buzzfeed to be a good source of information on social issues I don't let it bug me too much.

I'm talking more about the unspoken assumption that white people are the sole perpetrators of racism, even though racial prejudice is often between other non-white racial demographics as well. Psychologist Phil Goff actually did a study ("Stereotype Threat and Distance in Interracial Contexts", for those who want to Google it, it's a PDF so you'll have to download it) that displayed that the threat of appearing racist can actually cause white people to distance themselves from black conversation partners in conversations where race is a relevant topic. To put it simply, white people are so afraid of appearing racist that it makes it much harder for open and honest dialogue about race to be achieved.

I don't really think there's a huge assumption that only white people can be racist. I know within the black community there's discussion of internalized racism (for example when a black guy only dates white women/light skinned black women people assume that he hates his own race). It's just that racism by white people usually is more damaging. Most minorities don't have enough power to really cause problems for races they might hate. If I'm black and I hate white people, most likely there's little I can do but treat some of them badly when I interact with them. Wheras most of the positions of power in the US and most Western countries have been held by white people so if they are racist, they can enact racist policy and affect large groups of people.

I do agree that white people are so afraid to be racist that they don't want to talk about race, but I feel like that usually leads to assuming that there is no racism and anyone who talks about race is "bringing up the race card".

edited 24th Jul '14 1:39:22 PM by wuggles

And that is precisely why more people need to do academic or independent study on social justice. You're right; "This is, like, hard...so I'm not gonna bother" is indeed a common reaction by many people (not just with racism, but with every "-ism"). But that's precisely why people should freaking study it.

That's the only option; otherwise, this is leading right back to the "But nobody thinks about how talking about race makes ME (a white person) feel" territory.

Another vid from Gaijin Goombah that I think is relevant here, titled "Gaming and Middle Eastern Hatred, and Why It's a Problem."

One thing that does bother me occasionally is the way people online tend to treat everywhere like America or the West - i.e. assuming that every type of 'racism' by definition is white majority oppressing everyone else. Some places there aren't very many white people at all, and they still have racial conflicts.

My ability to talk about this is limited because, after all, I DO live in a country where the white majority oppresses everyone else, but I have noticed it in talking with others.

Yes, I'm quite sure there can be racism between groups that those in the West would have trouble telling apart — like between different African tribes, for example.

Or how the "Pure-blooded" Japanese discriminate against Chinese and/or Korean-descended Japanese.

Or the friction between the Han Chinese and pretty much every other Asian Ethnic group.

When I think about it, it is kinda silly that tropes like Identical-Looking Asians, Interchangeable Asian Cultures, and All Asians Know Martial Arts are so freaking common in American media and public consciousness.

Or even within China — do you know that there are several ethnic groups and sub-groups within China?