Platonic Friendships

So as not to derail the Love Shyness thread, I figured it would be best to move that discussion over here.

• Can men and women BE friends with each other even if one of them harbors feelings for the other?
• How can friendships between men and women in general (if neither of them are gay, that is) be accomplished?

Various other questions about friendships go here and below.

It's better to be right than liked. Really. I Just Want to Be Loved

1: Yes. 2: By not taking love so seriously. It's not the most important thing in the world.

"I don't know how I do it. I'm like the Mr. Bean of sex." -Drunkscriblerian

By not letting your emotions rule your decisions. Self control and such. easier said then done sometimes I know. Also deciding what it is you want from a relationship.

Who watches the watchmen?

1) Sure, I guess? for some definition of friendship. Could I do it? No, I'm sorry to say. Such a friendship would be a lie to me.

2) There's a boy and a girl, they hang out at the same places, they know each other, they talk about stuff. Does that count?

What's the difference between (platonic) BF Fs and and non-sexual romantic soulmates?

edited 13th May '11 6:55:25 PM by LoveHappiness

"Had Mother Nature been a real parent, she would have been in jail for child abuse and murder." -Nick Bostrom

1. Absolutely.

2. By either not being particularly attracted to them specifically, or exercising self-control and recognizing that sex needn't be the end goal of every social interaction with the opposite sex.

edited 13th May '11 7:03:39 PM by Pykrete

Its rather easy to be friends with the opposite sex (females in my case) as long as you don't treat them like breasts to be ogled, I find. Whats complicated is asking them out.

Its all just a matter of treating them as human beings instead of love objects first and foremost.

1. Yes, although if it's unrequited it's easier if you eventually fall out of love with them after finding out it's unrequited.

2. The same way men are friends with men and women are friends with women.

@Love Happiness

Now that I've never understood.

Apparently I am adorable, but my GF is my #1 Groupie. (Avatar by Dreki-K)

It's incredibly easy, as long as neither is attracted to the other.

Except for 4/1/2011. That day lingers in my memory like...metaphor here...I should go.

I feel sorry for bisexuals. They're not even allowed to have any friends.

1. Well, yeah. I mean, what kind of jerk stops being friends with a person just because their friend isn't in love with them?

2. However friendships are usually formed; being of different genders doesn't change much.

edited 13th May '11 7:18:25 PM by KCK

There's no justice in the world and there never was~

The subtle nuance being that they never really were their friend to begin with.

@Great Lich Good point.

There's no justice in the world and there never was~

1. Yes.

2. The same way as anyone else.

Eating a Vanilluxe will give you frostbite.

Pet Peeve:

How can people be friends without feelings?

Yeah, I know you meant romantic feelings of attraction, but it just bothers me.

Good point about bisexual people. If a bisexual can have friends of either gender, a straight man and a straight woman can be friends. Or two gay men or two lesbians.

Be not afraid...

Romantic relationships are, I think, more about having an emotional investment in each other. Platonic relationships don't require that.

...Or something, I'm not quite sure on the specifics.

Helpful Scripts and Stylesheets here.

Yes. However, it can complicate things if that person dwells on those feelings.

Friendship develops between two people of different genders in the same way it develops between two people of the same gender. They find out they share interests, enjoy talking to each other and spending time together, etc. They just aren't interested in a romantic relationship.

(Keep in mind that just because someone is attracted to one gender doesn't mean they're attracted to everyone of that gender.)

The first can be a total friendship wrecker. I had a good buddy who had a thing for me who wouldn't take no for an answer. For eight years. Eight years of "no" did not get through his head. It became just too big of a strain and created too much drama so I cut him off and never looked back. Eight years of painting toenails, eating buckets of fried chicken while watching bad hentai, getting lost in the woods and fording rivers ended because he refused to give up and I refused to give in. I might still be a little bitter over it because I have very very few close friends and I give them my all and yeah. ;;

You become friends the way you do with anyone, of course. Finding out you have things in common and getting to know eachother.

edited 13th May '11 8:35:04 PM by Bur

i. hear. a. sound.

I haven't had a platonic female friend ever. I mean, I haven't had a lot of really good friends anyway.

If you don't like a single Frank Ocean song, you have no soul.

Wow, this thread got so many replies so quickly, I'm a bit blushing now.

I also said you could add your own questions about the topic.

In any case, I wouldn't mind having a friend that I KNEW for a fact that I didn't have a romantic chance with, because I wouldn't be as disappointed that I'd be turned down romantically.

I'm very weird and varied in my head. The only way you'd get to know what REALLY goes on...would be to GET TO KNOW ME...DUN DUN DUNNNNNN.

(waits to see no one take the bait...sighs)

It's better to be right than liked. Really. I Just Want to Be Loved

There's tons of freaks in here, there's little to worry about in that regard.

I've had very few friendships over the course of my life, but as long as sex isn't constantly on your mind, I think a platonic relationship with the oriented gender/sex can be done rather easily.

Helpful Scripts and Stylesheets here.

I'd like to get to know you.

There's no justice in the world and there never was~

@OP: Certainly possible. I do not see the problem.

Also, this is relevant.

edited 13th May '11 10:22:45 PM by Carciofus

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.

Reason I don't have many friends #1: I'm too shy to say something like this directly, so I go for a round-about route that nobody notices.

Helpful Scripts and Stylesheets here.