Why do people talk in the third person?

Because first person is boring, and I tried second person and it did not work well at all.

Acebrock does it because he wants to amuse himself after getting frustrated with Oolite.

My troper wall

Because it is common military boot camp event that this Marine remembers well.

Who watches the watchmen?

Because it makes them a Special Snowflake, really. I find it really annoying because it completely breaks the flow of what you're reading. "This one... which one? Huh? They mean themselves? Then why didn't they just said 'I'?"

Really from Jupiter, but not an alien.

I'll keep that in mind

This one is honoured.

If we disagree, that much, at least, we have in common

Parents seem to do it a lot with small children. Probably because they think the kid might not know pronouns yet, or so the kid knows to call them 'Mommy' and 'Daddy' rather than whatever they call each other.

I've also seen autistic people doing it because they have a shaky grasp of pronouns. For example, in The Mind Tree, Tito Rajarshi Mukhopadyay (try saying that six times fast!) alternates between 'I' and 'the boy' to refer to himself throughout his autobiography. I've also seen autistics call themselves 'you', which as far as I know isn't done by anyone else.

If I'm asking for advice on a story idea, don't tell me it can't be done.

Chad Kroeger does this, so I declare this practice indefensible. Also, my handle does not lend itself to illeism.

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt." - Some guy with a snazzy hat.

Woah.

In any case, because they've watched to much moe anime?

ᐅᖃᐅᓯᖅ ᐊᑕᐅᓯᖅ ᓈᒻᒪᔪᐃᑦᑐᖅ

Watashi seconds the statement that many autistic people refer to themselves in the third person. Watashi remembers those posts on autism forums. and watashi knows that watashi means 'I'

Table Flipppin Mad (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

I occasionally do this when referring to myself IRL, but then it's usually to keep similar sentence structure or to help the words flow better. Like, I might say "Alice likes show x, Bob likes show y, and Charlie likes show z" if I'm Charlie instead of using I in there because it just feels more natural like that. But I'm not sure how common this is because I tend to have somewhat unusual speaking patterns.