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Writer's Block Daily
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Writer's Block Daily:

 19726 Killer Clowns, Tue, 14th May '13 9:23:53 AM from the Midwest
Easily entertained
[up]I realized I was using the wrong form halfway through, starting to switch over, then my boss got back earlier than expected, so I said "screw it, it's supposed to suck anyways." But now I've got some time...

Nrjxll despised "Show, Don't Tell"
He found it left a bad smell.
He told us this thought
And yet was distraught
He did not show why so his crusade fell.

edited 14th May '13 10:04:44 AM by KillerClowns

 19727 demarquis, Tue, 14th May '13 10:00:12 AM from Hell, USA Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
Who Am I?
@nrj...: Change that to every writing style problem imaginable. Things like plot structure are a different issue.

@Cats: I was right... it isn't dumb. The characters need some work, that's all. How do you post comments on that website?
“Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.”
 19728 Oh So Into Cats, Tue, 14th May '13 10:03:41 AM from The Sand Wastes Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
You can't. It's tinypaste.
"Beware of the wolves. They were raised by wolves."

Eidolonomics: ~60.4k/100,000 words
 19729 demarquis, Tue, 14th May '13 10:13:30 AM from Hell, USA Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
Who Am I?
Ridiculous. So how do you want feedback?
“Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.”
 19730 Oh So Into Cats, Tue, 14th May '13 10:19:48 AM from The Sand Wastes Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Uh, sure, I'll take feedback if you have any. You can either post it here or send it to me in a PM or whatever.

Tinypaste is a text hosting website, not a blogging website. It's not made to support comments on said text.

edited 14th May '13 10:56:21 AM by ohsointocats

"Beware of the wolves. They were raised by wolves."

Eidolonomics: ~60.4k/100,000 words
 19731 nrjxll, Tue, 14th May '13 1:44:14 PM Relationship Status: Not war
That's a terrible limerick.

 19732 Killer Clowns, Tue, 14th May '13 1:47:38 PM from the Midwest
Easily entertained
[up]And there's plenty more where it came from!
 19733 chihuahua 0, Tue, 14th May '13 5:03:51 PM from Standoff, USA Relationship Status: I'm in love with my car
Writer's Welcome Wagon
I mapped out the basic plot points for Dubious Doppelgangers *. Basically, I know how Act I will unfold, the mid-point, the darkest hour, the climax and the conclusion. The character arc might need some adjusting, but at least I know where's my protagonist, Charlie, will be at the end of the journey.

The story's also going to end on an uncertain note. As in, the opposing sides has reached a truce, but that truce might be broken at any time, but Charlie as a person has ended a chapter in his life (and started a new one), and hopefully that will be satisfying enough.

I'm going to give this baby a chance to be written out. Hopefully, part of it will be on Wattpad by the end of the year.

edited 14th May '13 5:04:23 PM by chihuahua0

 19734 Oh So Into Cats, Tue, 14th May '13 5:46:49 PM from The Sand Wastes Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Did people have any opinions on that thing I posted...?
"Beware of the wolves. They were raised by wolves."

Eidolonomics: ~60.4k/100,000 words
 19735 Night, Tue, 14th May '13 6:28:25 PM from PSNS Intrepid Relationship Status: Drift compatible
Who you are does not matter.
I kind of assumed you were posting it for a specific person, despite the public nature of the post. I didn't realize you wanted everyone to comment.
"Let us look less to the sky to see what might fall; rather, let us look to each other...and rise."
 19736 nrjxll, Tue, 14th May '13 6:57:22 PM Relationship Status: Not war
which I will keep until I find a better title, thank you very much

Personally speaking, I think Dubious Doppelgangers is a much more interesting name then The Manifestation Files ever could be.

Edit: I should clarify that this is not meant as a backhanded compliment.

edited 14th May '13 6:58:05 PM by nrjxll

 19737 Fulcanelli, Tue, 14th May '13 7:03:01 PM Relationship Status: Less than three
Fabulous Fabre
I don't really visit this place as often as I'd like to, so I figured I should post a little more frequently (as opposed to my current rate of maybe one post per every few months).

I've been working a little more on the book I've been trying to complete since November, but I'm really starting to suffer from the thought that my work is boring. I'm thinking this might be because I'm reading and writing it everyday, but it also really could be a boring waste of a Word document.

When I'm not worrying about its level of interest I'm doing alright with it, adding maybe a few thousand words a day to the word count. Which is honestly making me worry about what a nightmare it's going to be to edit and polish, but I really shouldn't concern myself with that until the dang thing is finished the first time.

In the meantime I really do need to come up with a good title for it, because Tainted Souls really isn't doing it for me.
The only reason why I like waking up is because I like falling asleep.
 19738 chihuahua 0, Tue, 14th May '13 7:36:55 PM from Standoff, USA Relationship Status: I'm in love with my car
Writer's Welcome Wagon
[up][up] It's Manifestation Files, without the "the", but...thanks? Guess Dubious Doppelgangers will stay around as a title for a while.

Now, time to take a keyboard to this thing.

EDIT: And you start by making one of the most obscure Gatsby references possible *. Way to go, self.

edited 14th May '13 8:14:54 PM by chihuahua0

 19739 Morwen Edhelwen, Tue, 14th May '13 8:45:37 PM from Sydney, Australia
Tolkien freak
Oh crap... how much borrowing can you do before it gets excessive? I've got a dwarf called Dáin, (a minor character), a reference to a character called Thorin Eikinskjöld who's got a grandfather called Thráin, a supporting character with an uncle called Thrór, mithril and the same supporting character's sister marrying someone from the Iron Hills. I intended these to be nods to my favourite writer...
The road goes ever on. -Tolkien
◥▶◀◤
I wrote a scene that was prolly one the most emotional and unintentionally trope filled scene I've ever written.
Rarely active, try DA/Tumblr Avatar by pippanaffie.deviantart.com
 19741 Oh So Into Cats, Wed, 15th May '13 3:12:46 AM from The Sand Wastes Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Well I haven't received any kind of comment at all so if there's nothing I'm just going to take it down.
"Beware of the wolves. They were raised by wolves."

Eidolonomics: ~60.4k/100,000 words
 19742 De Marquis, Wed, 15th May '13 5:11:19 AM from Hell, USA Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
Who Am I?
Dude, it's only been a day. Some of us have lives...

Anyway, I liked it, but I thought the MC needs more personality. While her dilemma is interesting, and I like the way you unfold it slowly, basically she just passively responds to events. Ideally, how she responds to a crisis should tell us something unique about her character. Same goes for her girlfriend. Do you have any idea what traits they have?
“Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.”
 19743 Oh So Into Cats, Wed, 15th May '13 5:13:04 AM from The Sand Wastes Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
Well what do you expect her to do?

I mean admittedly there's not much in here about Iris, but I think you can glean a lot from this about Adrienne:

From the first paragraph we know that both Iris and Adrienne are moderately well-read, or at least both had to read Slaughterhouse Five in high school. Adrienne took the message from the book more seriously while Iris decides to make a dark joke about it. Iris makes dark jokes and Adrienne accepts them. (I'm thinking of removing this because there would be a significant number of people who would not get the reference and I was just using this to get off the ground)

We know that Adrienne uses cables when she sleeps instead of bluetooth or some other kind of remote download. She cares about something that would be affected by the difference, like perhaps security or speed.

We know Adrienne has more ports than average.

Iris locked up Adrienne's equipment — this either says that Iris is somewhat controlling, or she thinks (knows?) that Adrienne doesn't have that much self-control when it comes to those things. The "go back to sleep" bit kind of ticks this in the "iris is controlling" direction.

However Adrienne notes that without jacking in the new brain is "useless" but then reminds herself that "being alive is a neat trick" — so maybe Adrienne doesn't have that much self-control.

Adrienne, despite all her augmentations, still believes that an artificial brain is inferior to a natural one.

She is however not the type of person to look a gift-horse in the mouth.

Adrienne is impatient when it comes to talking to others. Her mother is not online so she decides not to message her but instead look for people she can talk to immediately.

Adrienne throughout the second conversation struggles with not falling into various guilt traps. She is familiar with this sort of feeling.

Mark believes in conspiracies and yet however does not agree with vigilantism

Adrienne has something against the guy who created Blue, so it probably somehow hit her personally

Adrienne appreciates subtlety more than power

edited 15th May '13 5:49:37 AM by ohsointocats

"Beware of the wolves. They were raised by wolves."

Eidolonomics: ~60.4k/100,000 words
 19744 De Marquis, Wed, 15th May '13 6:40:07 AM from Hell, USA Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
Who Am I?
You mean "Poo-tee-tweet"? Wow, that went right over my head! You're right, not everyone will get that.

"We know that Adrienne uses cables when she sleeps instead of bluetooth or some other kind of remote download. She cares about something that would be affected by the difference, like perhaps security or speed.

We know Adrienne has more ports than average."

OK, true, but those are not emotional responses. Readers relate to a character much more through their feelings than their intellectual attitudes and beliefs.

"Iris locked up Adrienne's equipment — this either says that Iris is somewhat controlling, or she thinks (knows?) that Adrienne doesn't have that much self-control when it comes to those things. The "go back to sleep" bit kind of ticks this in the "iris is controlling" direction."

Here's the relevant section:

"Your mom was here a few days ago. You should call her. Tell her you're all right."

"Call her?"

"They've restricted everything, " said Iris. "Also I've locked up all your equipment."

Adrienne couldn't help it. She glared. Iris's expression softened a bit.

If this is intended to convey that Iris is controlling, and/or that Adrienne is impulsive or unreliable, then I think a little more was needed. We should see Iris' sense of control reflected in something else, probably her appearance, back in the paragraph where she was introduced. Mention that her hair, her makeup, her clothes are all meticulous and perfect. Then contrast this with Adrienne. You probably cant use her appearance for that, since she just woke up from a month long coma, and who looks their best after that? But you could provide some evidence of what might happen if Adrienne doesn't keep her impulses under control. A tattoo that she regrets having would be perfect.

Now, those are just suggestions, examples of the kind of thing that I think might improve the story. What you actually do is up to you, but overall I think your characters would come across as more complex and engaging if you insert a few more clues regarding what kind of people they are, and how they feel about themselves and each other.

Don't change it too much though, all I'm suggesting is a refinement to what is already a pretty interesting introduction to a story. Definitely don't give up on it.

edited 15th May '13 6:41:06 AM by DeMarquis

“Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.”
◥▶◀◤
I got close to 1k in today, finally got some humor in my book as well.
Rarely active, try DA/Tumblr Avatar by pippanaffie.deviantart.com
 19746 Fulcanelli, Wed, 15th May '13 9:01:26 PM Relationship Status: Less than three
Fabulous Fabre
Well, today really wasn't my best productive day. I'm somewhat stuck on what to do for the next few scenes, and just going off the top of my head to see if anything works isn't really helping. I'm hoping that maybe after I get some rest I'll figure out a good solution.

Worst case scenario is that I end up making this scene really boring for now and I'll come back to it later so my story doesn't come to a grinding halt.
The only reason why I like waking up is because I like falling asleep.
 19747 Tera Chimera, Wed, 15th May '13 9:51:37 PM from somewhere out there
Cool Celtic Composition
Amnesia: The Dark Descent is basically what you get if you take the hotel escape from Dark Corners of the Earth, take away the enemies' guns, stick it in the dark, and make a whole game out of it.
"The Uncertainty Principle isn't about uncertainty and it isn't a principle; other than that, it's perfectly named." — David Van Baak
 19748 JHM, Thu, 16th May '13 12:53:04 AM from Neither Here Nor There Relationship Status: I know
Thunder, Perfect Mind
Hello, Fulcanelli. I had seen you here a very long time ago, but not again until now. So I guess this is less a welcome than a welcoming back.
 19749 Wheezy, Thu, 16th May '13 7:33:51 AM from Tampa, FL. Again.
(That Guy You Met Once)
Here's the first draft of something I just banged out in an hour.

I think it could help a lot of people, myself, but I'm just worried the whole thing might seem like it was written by Captain Obvious.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but I think I’ve come up with a basic formula for artists.

It’s something along the lines of:

Success = Novelty + Accessibility + Artist’s Capability

If your novel flopped or your erstwhile favorite band “sucks now, ” it’s probably because it never had one of those elements, or it lost one along the way. If an artist you hate gets popular, it’s probably because they had all these elements, but for a different audience.

It’s also worth noting that, just as different types of art are popular with different crowds, there’s no objective way to measure any of these things.

Novelty

...Is pretty self-explanatory. Nobody wants to read the same book more than a few times, no matter who’s writing it.

If your book can easily be described as “just another ‘insert genre here’ book, ” people are going to be less likely to read it.

Well, maybe.

It should be clarified that I’m not saying your idea must be no one’s ever done before - those don’t exist either - just that your specific audience shouldn’t have too many other places to easily find what you’re selling.

I’ve noticed that almost all mega-popular things are unique in their time. For example: yes, Anne Rice wrote vampire romances in the ‘70s, but very few people - if any - were doing it in the YA field around the same time as Twilight. During its making, Star Wars was looked at by a lot of people as being just too damn weird to ever be a success.

I’ve yet to see any other television shows about time-traveling aliens, either. Or fantasy quintologies about British wizards saving the world from two-faced overlords. Or video games about plumbers stomping sentient mushrooms.

If there are - a lot of popular things are shameless rip-offs of other series when it comes to the bare plot elements and characters - they’re probably entirely different in tone. The first one was a horror, this one’s a comedy. Or maybe they just had the capability to pull it off in a way the guy who wrote the first thing didn’t. But the overall idea is, at the time, no one was doing that.

Continuing to be novel while maintaining the other two elements seems to be the key to what critics so haughtily call “staying relevant” as you age.

Pop music is legendary for the here-today, gone-tomorrow nature of the people who make it, largely because they either lack novelty, or that’s all they had. Either they blindly stumbled across something people liked once, but couldn’t figure out how to do it again, or they just studied the market to see what was already popular and cynically slapped together a song they knew the teenagers would buy.

...And in both cases, they usually tried to keep doing it over and over again while wondering why the audience was starting to boo.

This is also behind the popularity polynomial. Ten years ago, everyone was sick of Pokemon. But some time went by without it, and by about 2008, we’d gone long enough without hearing it for it to make a comeback.

Accessibility.

A twofold component.

Half of it just means your audience can easily find your thing. Maybe your favorite band is just as good as they’ve ever been, it’s just that they’ve gotten sick of the executives and decided to only release through indie labels with no marketing douchebags and tour around to tiny clubs instead of stadiums, so you’d never know what they’re up to these days unless you follow the lead singer’s blog.

This is also where novelty comes in. If your book has generic title and a generically pretty person not doing much of anything on its cover, no one will have any idea why they should pick it out from the ones surrounding it.

The other half means your audience can get into it.

If your book’s 900 pages long, fewer readers will want to be assed with it, unless the prose is amazing or they’re already dedicated fans. You don’t listen to someone talk that long unless you love ‘em.

Some artists fail because they ignore accessibility, or just stop caring what the audience is willing to sit through and let their own ego make the decisions.

For example, people generally expect songs to be between three and ten minutes long, with rhythm, identifiable instruments, and a melody they can follow, unless you’re aiming for the ambient or experimental crowd, in which case, they’ll have their own predefined expectations, and won’t take kindly to being played Beatles songs.

Like it or not, while knowing what will play to your audience isn’t more important than your personal creative vision, I think it’s equally important if you want them to give you their time, positive attention, or money.

Artist’s Capability

Note that I said “capability, ” not talent.

In other words, this doesn’t mean that you’re an objectively good artist - there’s no such thing as one of those, either - it means that you have enough knowledge of your subject matter to pull off the specific thing you’re trying to write.

This is the trickiest element.

Maybe your favorite band “sucks now” because they decided they’d go from rock to synthpop - because it was novel and people were into it, making it accessible - but they found that while they were awesome with guitars, they knew jack shit about keyboard models, sample sequencing, and what tones are overused, making their latest album sound like a bunch of Casio presets from the ‘80s.

Getting back to Twilight for a second, Stephenie Meyer’s prose might make critics and lit enthusiasts want to vomit up ten feet of intestine, but she was very capable of writing a book with the tropes that would make it accessible to a specific audience. An audience without much experience in judging the eloquence of word combinations. As long as there were no obvious misspellings for grammar mistakes to make them feel stupid for enjoying it, they’d probably be fine.

In my opinion, everything else artists make a big deal out of - style, image, projecting an "attitude, " establishing an identity, using social media effectively, whatever - are incidental, or stem from, those three elements.

Having exceptional amounts of one or two elements can make up for lack of a third, but only for a limited period of time. How long that is depends on how much of the other two elements you have. For example, like Meyer, the guys who make Call of Duty are very capable when it comes to making an accessible product. And Modern Warfare was a hugely influential smash because it had novelty, circa 2007. Modern Warfare two and three, however, were just popular games. Modern Warfares 4 through 500 will probably sell less with each installment.

If you’re missing an element, there’s no amount of rationalization or whining about how you’re doing it for the art and those stupid sheeple just didn’t get it that can magick your stuff popular.

But it might explain why audiences fifty years from now might like it more.

edited 16th May '13 7:44:35 AM by Wheezy

 19750 Oh So Into Cats, Thu, 16th May '13 12:18:50 PM from The Sand Wastes Relationship Status: Showing feelings of an almost human nature
See, I keep thinking, how would taboo, law, expense, and The Twinmaker keep people away from immortality if it was technically possible?

And the only answer I keep thinking of is it wouldn't.
"Beware of the wolves. They were raised by wolves."

Eidolonomics: ~60.4k/100,000 words
Total posts: 25,116
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