Surprising lack of negativity on Facebook

On Facebook, there is very little room for negative feelings. One can only "like" someone else does. You can only... postpone accepting someone among your contacts. I do not remember seeing that there is the option to block someone permanently.

There are good reasons for that. Suppose a discussion, for some reason or another, turns sour (and it is so easy to say things wrong in a medium which transmits either voice or body language):

• In a forum, moderators intervene rapidly to limit the damage. Inflammatory statements are deleted, sometimes even a whole discussion, even an entire forum when you consider that encourages behaviors that interfere with understanding.
• In a Messenger, the discussion is quite private, the number of guests possible is very limited if we are to avoid it becoming unreadable.
• In a chatroom, everyone is anonymous, and anyone who feels bad to feel bad in front of his television staff without social repercussions.

On Facebook, cons, when people explode, while the user can see, in theory (in practice, Facebook does not show all your friends everything you do all the time, especially if it is with people which are not mutual friends). We can only rely on luck, and the inattention of other readers, to avoid the "scandal" being visible to everyone.

However, knowing how people can be... gratuitously nasty, spiteful and likely (especially when these three lines meet) ... why it does not happen more often, scandals on Facebook?

Well, let's face it: we are not idiots (in any case those who are constantly taking slaps himself, and become experienced: usually, you won't tell the difference). And discussions on the Internet, unlike what happens in private life, give you time to think. You see, you know you have to avoid showing your "dark side" in public.

Firstly, some people might judge you evil (mean, a bitch, a douchebag...). Or worse, ridiculous. They may begin to avoid you ... or even, worse, despise you a little.

In addition, it is often a good strategic choice to appear harmless and gentle in public, and keep the offensive potential for special occasions, whether to resolve a conflict in your favor or simply to demonstrate strength (such as when bullying or exchanging Witty Banter).

One might think that this capacity for verbal abuse may atrophy with time, but that's what gossip in the backs of people are for, insult them in their absence is harmless ... For the insulter, of course. The insulted, on the other hand, can lose their social life, provided even a single one of mockers has wit and a sharp sense of humor.

For some, it would be a terrible source of paranoia, this fear of losing the esteem of all while being powerless do anything about it. But we can also decide not to worry about what is beyond our reach anyway. And then we all play the same game, is not it?

Anyway, it is safer to keep this part of the game outside of Facebook itself. For this is the conclusion one can reach: the very reasons why Facebook is a ticking incendiary bomb are the cause that it merely occasionally fizzles out and barely even makes a little smoke. What you do has consequences on Facebook, and no one will protect you from them.

Compared to the precious feeling that we bring this site, never to be quite alone, to maintain contact, however slight it with all your friends and acquaintances, you are asked to show a little restraint (self-censorship is such an ugly word). Is this not a Chinaman's price?

edited 19th Mar '11 10:36:10 PM by Ardiente

You have a facebook? Friend me. I'll paint you... uh... Rock Lee driving the Gurren Laggan while fighting a... futanari angel with ummm... Eliezer Yudkowsky in gendo cosplay in the foreground while the Harry Potter cast raps about how hard is to get an engineering degree in the background.

How would I even do that? How do you draw an Evangelion while showing the rider inside? And there's no way to do the entire Naruto cast at a size you could see in the background in a painting with an entire Evangelion in it. Then again maybe it's not so much a problem of painting the impossible as asking the viewer to see the invisible...

edited 19th Mar '11 11:34:29 PM by Roman

Im guessing there is a lack of this as you A dont pay attention to those sorts of cultures (on facebook - there is plenty of drama and shit-filled parts of facebook go to the 'creepy mexican' facebook group as example and read the /b level comments) and B. facebook software helps to limit that making spreading info harder.

Also C. this is "normalfag" stuff and the facebook drama probably mirrors IRL drama something that is not posted on facebook all the time (gossip, texts, etc). It is limited to their little zone as others dont care to the point of making ED articles/they believe similar things.

edited 19th Mar '11 11:41:42 PM by BalloonFleet

Yup. Incidentally, over the last week, some friends of mine posted remarks that I would have used for starting a... discussion in any webforum where I have a nickname. I have to admit that I didn't dare do so on facebook, in front of friends, co-workers, and my boss. I don't want them to see my dark side.

It's a very interesting experience. It shows how social control works. I think the real-world parallel would be a small town where everyone knows everyone else.

One really does not want to pee where one eats, right?

I think this is part of the reason why I left facebook just recently. It doesn't allow you freedom with what you say, especially because it's in front of all your "friends". I didn't have my picture on there, just loads of anime avatars. Even then, I felt reluctant to argue with people who put their real photos on there. You limit what you say because you're identifiable and easily "unfriendable".

edited 20th Mar '11 7:40:41 AM by Shichibukai

This, among other things, is why I am proud to say I do not have a facebook account, and never will.

I don't see a lot of drama/negativity, most of my friends don't fight though.

I do not see a lot of drama/negativity.

Of course, I'm one of the people who doesn't put photos of himself on Facebook, purely because I'm a little vain and am not particularly photogenic.

I have gotten into at least one argument in Facebook comments.

Of course, one major factor why it's not so conductive to arguments is that you know all your friends on Facebook in real life. If you don't argue much with people in real life, you probably won't argue much on Facebook.

It's much different in a forum composed of people you will never ever actually see.

Exactly. This is both the advantage and the disadvantage of having a degree of anonymity. The only time you would have a huge fight with and in front of people who know you is if the relationship is at breaking point in real life anyway.

Yeah, the only people I know who have argue on FB are the people who argue a lot in real life. I don't really see a need for negativity. When I have nothing nice to say, I don't say anything at all.

Heh there were cases where I was involved in all sorts of flamewars with my irl name I just didn't give a fuck. For others I understand and I have felt like that too

Lack of negativity?! People don't care about their identity on facebook at least when it comes to negativity, I've seen more heated facebook feuds, relationship break ups , un-friends, and beef come from facebook than meaningful relationships.

Everyone on my facebook knows full well I'm a radical sarcastic prick. I've seen dozens of status updates says the earth quake in japan was "Karma", people don't self-censor shit for facebook.

I see lots of negativity on Facebook, but it's all of the "Oh I'm soooo looooonely nobody loooooves meeeee" sort of thing.

Not much arguing, really.