Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

Apparently a halfling cleric with one level in bard and the perform vocal skill, who tours the land performing his hit song "Turn Dead For What", is a no-go. Lol.

1) No longer allowed to play a Malkavian whose insanity is he must count things at a Serious LARP (I did this at a LARP in the 1990s and after 4 sessions, they threw me out when they realized I was playing Count von Count from Sesame Street. To this day, I think it was because it took them four sessions to figure it out.)

2) No longer allowed to play illusionists after killing a greater vampire with the illusion of "sunrise!"

3) Don't ask about Garth V'rkailis, the man who sucker punched Darth Vader and lived

edited 20th Jul '17 4:02:15 PM by ScrewySqrl

Well, to be fair, vampires having a compulsion of count small objects does have a basis in traditional vampire lore.

My Dwarf Barbarian may not be straightedge. (The DM acknowledges that that's extremely barbarous by Dwarf standards, but the character's just too irritating.)

Cutting a Human character in half does not make them a Halfling. (Ditto Elves/Half-Elves and Orcs/Half-Orcs.)

The verbal component for casting the spell Hypnotic Pattern is not: "Turn on, tune in, drop out," nor is it: "Far out, man!"

edited 9th Aug '17 6:35:29 PM by pwiegle

Spells such as Fireball, while powerful, should be avoided when inside buildings made mostly of wood.

the party warlock is no longer allowed to cast eldritch blast at glowing magic things, especially when the rogue (me) and the paladin are fighting a dark wizard RIGHT NEXT TO IT! thank fuck I rolled a nat 20 Dex save...

edited 10th Aug '17 7:14:12 AM by FieldMarshalFry

Allow me to set the stage: My friend's swordsage, dressed as Batman, has Batmanned his way down the elevator shaft of the casino, followed closely by the villans. We are level 12, the room is filled with level 16-20 NP Cs, and he has just thrown a feather tree token in the shaft to slow them down.

The DM had intended for us to be forced to sit down, villans included, and gamble for awesome items and the plot macguffin. We, however, are super spooked. The druid (in bat form, naturally) has managed to evade notice, while I am melded with the druid, as I am a necromancer with Magic Jar active.

Previously, the sword sage had aquired Marvellous Pigments, able to paint any mundane object. I had him make some corpses, which are objects, and animated them as skeletons. Simple human skeletons, 1HD apiece. I had placed them in a bag of holding, and had given it to him as I would be body jumping.

So, our swordsage, when confronted by all these high-level characters, does the only reasonable thing. He turns the bag of holding upside down, and the rules state everything in it is dumped out at once. So one hundred skeletons swamp the room, forcing everyone to the walls, and I possess a body and command them to hold everyone back. We go and raid the head guy's room, while the others are trying to destroy the skeletons.

Now, I'd picked up a little feat: Destruction Retribution. When an undead I make is destroyed, there's an explosion dealing 1d6 of negative energy damage per HD. Not much on a skeleton, GREATLY USEFUL when there's a HUNDRED of them.

I'm not allowed to do that anymore. And I've managed to roll really lucky and take over the second most powerful man in the country with Magic Jar currently. It's fun.

edited 10th Aug '17 11:06:10 AM by SigfriedWild

........can I swap my party's Warlock with you?

You can control a hundred HD worth of undead? How exactly does it scale with level? I thought it was something like 4HD/level...

I play a Dread Necromancer, from Heroes of Horror. Adds your CHA to the 4 HD/level limit. Such fun.

Marvelous Pigments are tremendous fun, especially on a sneaky-bluffy character.

Speaking of which...

I am no longer allowed to use Marvelous Pigments and a good bluff check to assassinate an entire enemy army.

... story behind that one is simple enough, but one that I still find kind of amusing. My usual RP group was playing a 'sneaky character' one-shot, and my weird assassin decided to take it upon himself to go and deal with the enemy army encamped not far from the location of the macguffin while the rest of the party searched through the temple... somewhat gingerly, as it was a still-active temple of a deity that several party members owed allegiance to

Meanwhile, my assassin has pretty much casually stealthed into the heart of the enemy encampment and slit the throat of the enemy commander whle his back is turned.

At this point, the DM was smirking, since he clearly anticipated that happening.

He... didn't really anticipate my assassin creating a copy of himself-as-corpse with Marvelous Pigments, and then dumping that out into the firelight while disguised as the enemy commander. One bluffed roar about Changeling assassins in the camp, along with contradictory passwords given on the way out, and the enemy army pretty much imploded. What few survivors there were went on to spread misinformation that strained one of the most dangerous enemy alliances, and they were none the wiser that the party had made off with the macguffin.

... come to think of it, that one-shot ended with my assassin having fallen off an airship, and absolutely no-one questioning whether or not he would survive, just mild curiousity as to what deranged adventures would be monosyllabically hinted at when he eventually turned up again.

Apparently, despite my articulate arguments about it actually being a sort of curse, Remove Curse doesn't cause a noble pregnant with an orc's child to cease being pregnant.

Actually the DM stopped me as I was going down my spell list and got to Shatter.... Lol.

edited 27th Sep '17 12:05:07 PM by MarkVonLewis

my Alpha Legionary is no longer allowed access to the vox units of any complex we invade, turns out sending the entire compound into a state on anarchy via a deceive check wasn't very helpful to our plans

But was it being not helpful to the party's plans helpful to HIS plans?

I am Alpharius (also they want me to stop saying that, spoil sports....)

Fry: who the fuck is that GM? Cause you basically were doing the Alpha Legion's signature. That's great RP'ing to a T.

edited 27th Sep '17 1:45:26 PM by MarkVonLewis

the players are all "oh stop memeing" IT'S WHAT THEY FUCKING DO, bet I wouldn't have this problem with my normal GM....

also, only the GM knows I'm secretly working against the party to keep them contained in the screaming vortex killing traitors instead of Imperials

Fry, your party sounds like they don't understand how Alpha Legion works

I'm just gonna keep fucking with em as the GM likes what I'm doing

Just because you CAN name your game The Iron Maiden of the Brave New System doesn't mean you SHOULD name your game The Iron Maiden of the Brave New System.

Just because your game starts in an unexplored world which is thought to be between two Tyranid fleets doesn't mean there's a Necron world in there.

And just because you're playing a GMPC as a navigator who is venturing into new worlds where the Astronomican can't reach doesn't mean you should post an image of The Sun with the headline 'AstronomiCAN'T!' like they'd still exist.

(I am using the last one for events where daemons invade the ship and so forth - just random stuff that might happen between games)

edited 3rd Oct '17 2:55:24 AM by RatherRandomRachel

Eldritch Blast is for combat purposes only. Our poor Rogue's never going to be the same after that one...

so I'm not the only rogue who has had trouble with people casting that damn spell willy, nilly?

Apparently no. For context, our party was stuck in a catacomb that a bunch of evil cultists had cast a barrier around. My warlock decided it would be a brilliant idea to fire off an eldritch blast and see how long it took to hit the walls, to gauge how much the barrier was trapping them by. One critical fail later, it ricocheted off a nearby staircase before coming close to the barrier and hit our poor Rogue in the groin. He was not happy. ^^;