Bi-phobia

@Chagen Do you have any studies or stats to back that up?

I remember reading it somewhere...granted, it was on a trope page—See the Kinsey Scale Of Tropes, and that's a scale I personally use to gauge orientation. And it was developed for serious use.

edited 9th Mar '11 7:01:11 PM by Chagen46

You know, for the longest time, I used to think that I was 100% straight.

But Goddamn it George Clooney!

What's wrong with a guy admitting that other guys are good-looking? It could be non-sexual. Some people are comfortable enough with themselves to admit that. As a female who doesn't like men in a sexual way, I have no problem saying they're attractive.

Being repulsed at the fact that anyone could find men attractive would not make a guy 100% straight, it would make him closed-minded.

edited 9th Mar '11 7:34:52 PM by CompassionateSadist

Gonna make an unwise statement here...

I think bisexual men get it worse than bisexual women, insofar as their social reputation is concerned. After all, bisexuality does not affect perceptions of a woman's femininity, but it sure as hell has an effect on a man's perceived masculinity. That's slowly changing (when I was in high school, if you were bi and a dude, you might as well have been gay).

The common stereotype of bisexual men is that of the skinny, fey teenager or the flouncy fop (with the predatory rake coming in a distant third), and that's hard to break out of.

Before anyone pounces, I'm just saying that it's hard to keep your perceived masculinity intact while coming out as bi, whereas women don't seem to have that problem.

ducks & covers

edited 9th Mar '11 7:29:26 PM by drunkscriblerian

Damn double standards...

Guys have to do  ^*

I never particularly liked "masculinity". It always struck me as rather restrictive.

(if this is too derail-y then thump this)

@Ivy: some people find it dumb, some people find it who they are.

@Anon: It isn't off topic, because how your sexual orientation affects what people think of you is a big part of it. (You listening, mods?)

Masculinity isn't restrictive per se, but people have an irritating habit of making it so.

edited 9th Mar '11 7:47:19 PM by drunkscriblerian

I've seen biphobia in action before I revealed myself as pansexual to my friends at my school's GSA. It was mostly little things like the occasional joke. "Don't call yourself bi. That's such a dirty word!" and so on. The consensus among them seemed to be that...

1. Most "bisexuals" were faking it either for attention or because they couldn't bear being totally homosexual
2. Many other bisexuals just hadn't given it much thought and were using it so they could sit on the fence
3. Those bisexuals who were actually bi were very promiscuous and would date multiple people whenever they could manage. Cheating was the norm.

Any negative comments and even simple jokes (I didn't mind the jokes, hell I liked them) about bisexuals were stopped after they learned I was pansexual at a camp we all went to. As for why I never revealed it (I would have said I was bi due to not knowing pansexuality was a thing) before...They weren't very cruel about it and I just never thought the knowledge was terribly important.

edited 9th Mar '11 9:17:49 PM by Aondeug

I am an exact bisexual, and I have also felt this in action.

To people who do not understand/appreciate/tolerate bisexuality, it is usually stated as "half-right" or "half-wrong". Both are extremely condescending, based on the strength of the judge's moral views and tendency to try and fix or at least contradict the people they see as being wrong.

@Leradny: well, this is why I'm for "sexual/non-sexual" being the only divisor we really need. I'm pretty straight, and I've made out with guys before. Does that make me Bi? or just occasionally curious/slutty?

And, why does it matter? I wanted to do it at the time, for whatever reason. I'd say it doesn't "make" me anything.

I sometimes think life would be better if everyone took the drunk approach to these matters and thought of it as something mostly situational. Sure there will be given trends, but why make yourself so beholden to them?

A world without labels isn't one I think can exist though. Humans have an insatiable desire to label everything. That and would it really make things better? WHAT IFS ARE YOUR GREATEST FOE.

edited 9th Mar '11 9:26:44 PM by Aondeug

considering the site we're on, no one here can argue that point.

That said, glad you agree with me Aon.

-can't remember trope names to save her soul-

Yes...you people and your labeling of tropes...

Sexuality is defined by personal attraction. When talking about things you've done that fall under "being bisexual/gay/straight/whatever" it's important to distinguish motivation. People are not necessarily asexual whenever they go without sex for a long time. Why would you be bisexual if you made out with a few guys here and there? If it was to settle a bet, or curiosity, or something other than actually wanting to jump them, it doesn't count.

And now I add this to my watchlist and go to sleep.

I'm with Subtlyinyour Mind on this one. I really don't see why someone's sexual preference should define you. Like a gay or bisexual man is somehow fundamentally different in nature to a straight one.

To me sex is a lot like pie. Some people like pumpkin pie. Some people like coconut pie. Hell some people even like lemon pie. The important thing is that we all respect each others choices and not to force someone to conform with the majority because of a difference in personal taste.

Because... I Like Pie!

edited 9th Mar '11 11:57:10 PM by joeyjojo

It's ironic given that I can play camp gay almost to a ridiculously well level. Most of the time just to screw with people.

But in reality I'm pretty much just mix and match what I like on myself. I wear tight clothes because I like the feeling over my body (including girls T-shirts on some occasions), but at the same time I'll watch Die Hard because I think it's hilarious watching a guy being stereotypically manly. I don't fit into any stereotype because I don't even know HOW TO.

If it was anything I did fail at it was being raised by my parents to think I was straight. That ended up setting my sexuality back at least 7 years. XD

edited 10th Mar '11 12:23:32 AM by SubtlyinyourMind

That's until you meet a person who squirms at the very mention of a mushroom pie, for example. have that thing about mushrooms, they just make me--

Oh, wait, right, this isn't about pie. I self-identify as bisexual, yes, I've never kissed a guy or had sex with a guy, but that's pretty much the same as schoolboys calling each other fags (and other decidedly not nice words) because none of them had seen a real woman naked yet. I enjoy slash fiction, I enjoy gay, transgender and bisexual porn, I date a girl, I (accidentally) turned a girl who was a 5 on the Kinsey Scale into a 2 once through talking too much, I don't look, dress or sound any different from the average Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today? dude down the street. Well, except maybe I talk to myself too loudly at times, but I am prone to monologuing at every opportunity and— well, you see.

I think what makes people want to cubbyhole each other into distinct black and white sections is that this allows them to more easily select what they deem to be an appropriate standard course of action and reaction to whatever they say or do. I've often caught myself noticing how people I know and regularly interact with IRL react differently to statements made by different people with similar mindsets based solely on the fact that one is a lesbian and the other is not. I've also noticed that biphobia goes hand in hand with heterophobia most of the time, but that's self-supporting, really, just as with homophobia. Just not as frequent in general.

And yes, I do abuse this sometimes. When it comes up comfortably in conversation as part of a fag joke directed at you, it's easy to deflect with "He's not my type. That guy over there is." Extra funny if the that guy is within earshot (one time, he was, and yes, I did have a crush on the guy — he's dead straight though). Hello, spit take!
It's sort of like a pretty girl toying with a boy by telling him she'd fancy him more if he did something outlandish, I suppose - doing something for the lulz of it to toy with people, their expectations and reactions.

edited 10th Mar '11 12:29:49 AM by Noelemahc

I am with you there, I Kissed A Boy Just To Start Shit

Being a feminine male is definitely not "worse" than being attracted to men as a male. And I'm tired of gay men's inferiority complexes of it. If anything I idolize gender nonconformity. Honestly, there's hardly anyone whom idolizes the masculine man than many gay men. Believe me, it's definitely there, almost as a compensation for gayness, they wish to be as Machismo as possible.

You know, not that there's anything wrong with anyone being as masculine or feminine as they like. But I'm tired of actually seeing femme bashing among gay men. Just because Camp Gay is a tired old stereotype doesn't mean one has to be on the complete other end.

edited 10th Mar '11 5:07:27 AM by Ukonkivi

Gay men bashing gay men? Ain't that a bitch....

edited 10th Mar '11 5:09:23 AM by Kino

@ Kino:Not as uncommon as you'd think.

Also, I never got how a gay person could be Bi-phobic. Comprehension defies me.

Though camp annoys me to no end.

edited 10th Mar '11 6:18:50 AM by inane242

Gay people think we're cheating or kidding ourselves. It makes no sense to me either.

This post was thumped by the Stick of Off-Topic Thumping.
Stay on topic, please.