literary masochist
Apparently your little sister thinks you're... oh... ew, gross.
The ability to shoot mini-suns at enemies.
This "faculty lot" you speak of sounds like a place of great power...
Owner of Dead End
Rollin' rollin' rollin'
This causes everyone in the world to become so terrified of you that EVERY OTHER PERSON ON THE PLANET decides to work together to fight against you.
The power to cling to the ceiling by your fingertips.
"We're home, Chewie."
literary masochist
This is no guarantee that the ceiling can support your weight.
The power to see five seconds into the future.
This "faculty lot" you speak of sounds like a place of great power...
Digital Analogy
You also experience your own actions five seconds early, so practically all you did was to skip five seconds of your life.
The ability to stop time around you while you take a nap.
In porto perse vitulus est.
Your nap becomes frozen in time too, meaning you never progress through it and thus never wake up, leaving all of time frozen around you forever.
That or you aren't frozen in time, but suffocate to death because the oxygen atoms around you are frozen.
The power to safely digest any substance.
You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
Rollin' rollin' rollin'
Well, sure, you can safely digest anything. That doesn't mean you can safely swallow it.
The power to play through an entire video game in five seconds.
Editted because I was a dumb.
edited 4th Oct '12 1:03:28 PM by Zarek
"We're home, Chewie."
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Excreting many substances will still kill you.
You get bored of them in one second
The power to slam revolving doors.
edited 4th Oct '12 1:04:36 PM by Balmung
You can only do it when nobody is looking, not even yourself, for seeing it would break their perception of reality.
You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
literary masochist
*crickets chirping*
The power to imitate the abilities of the player character of any game that you've played. (For games with multiple playable characters, you choose one character at a time.)
This "faculty lot" you speak of sounds like a place of great power...
Granted. You can shoot lines of code and pixels now, or whatever power. They're just a dull light, however, so they don't do much.
The power to not forget to put a power in this thread when posting. Please grant me that.
edited 4th Oct '12 9:57:34 PM by Anomalocaris20
You cannot firmly grasp the true form of Squidward's technique!
literary masochist
<33
Granted, but hey wait a second this isn't the corrupt a wish thread
*ahem*
The only wish you have the ability to grant is more wishes.
The ability to slow down time.
edited 4th Oct '12 10:13:22 PM by WertyYertrew
but the future refused to change. the miracle never happen.
Am I a weirdo?
First of all, you are actually slowing down time itself, rather than your own perception of time. A second takes longer, but it takes longer for everyone, not just you. Second of all, you can merely slow down time, not speed it back up again. Every time you use your power, you bring the universe closer to destructive stasis.
The power to explain anything such that anyone who hears you understands what you are talking about.
Bigotry will NEVER be welcome on TV Tropes.
Digital Analogy
You can now move and be affected by gravity. Isn't relativity fun?
Sorry, I didn't understand what you mean by that.
The ability to ruin superheores' powers.
edited 4th Oct '12 11:56:46 PM by Jusamies
In porto perse vitulus est.
Am I a weirdo?
You live in a setting without superheroes, so you can't ruin anyone's powers.
The ability to come up with the perfect witty retort in any situation.
Bigotry will NEVER be welcome on TV Tropes.
Granted, but you are exiled to a deserted island. Nobody ever finds you.
The power to turn swiss into cheddar.
literary masochist
You are arrested for the cheesification of several foreign tourists.
The power to change the time of day at will.
This "faculty lot" you speak of sounds like a place of great power...
OH YES!!
You cause the apocalypse due to the Earth spinning so quickly.
Size shifting.
(Agender. They/Them pronouns.)
Digital Analogy
Forced rapid grows will cause tremendous stress on your bones and muscles. Shrinking on the other hand makes you lose parts of your body, which you won't get back when you regrow such as neurons. You end up sickly, mentally handicapped and in harsh pain if not dead pretty quickly.
Power to only have enjoyable and safe things happening to oneself.
In porto perse vitulus est.
Rollin' rollin' rollin'
Now safe and enjoyable things only happen to you. Everyone else is miserable.
The power to safely breathe in any substance or lack thereof.
"We're home, Chewie."
Digital Analogy
When you breathe out, you explode.
Ability to make huge profits from doing anything.
In porto perse vitulus est.
Yugo
The money that you get is from another planet, so it's useless here.
edited 25th Dec '12 2:36:57 PM by David
You get trapped somewhere and can't get out.
Stopping Time.
Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter
the other dimension is filled with monsters that will devour anything and everything.
The power to understand what all body language indicates instantly.
I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy.