"Just as planned."
"So chili from Chili served in a chilly house while chilied with blue chileas."
"Did you expect somebody else?"
"He has angry hands"
[18•54•24] Rossydad: This waffle tastes like shit.
[18•56•43] Wolfie: How do you know how shit tastes?
[18•56•54] Hopey: Once upon a time.
[18•57•01] Hopey: It was a cold dark day in Rossyland.
[18•57•05] Hopey: It was so cold.
[18•57•10] Hopey: The only thing that was warm, was shit.
[18•57•21] Hopey: In order to remain warm, Rossydad had to eat the shit.
[18•57•22] Hopey: the end.
[18•58•04] *** Rossydad claps ***
[18•58•12] Rossydad: Thank you, son.
edited 23rd Apr '15 11:02:57 AM by Inhopelessguy
I fought the Lore, and the Lore won.
"M'aiq's grandfather is also M'aiq. He claims his grandfather, M'aiq, was a cat. However you should not believe this, as M'aiq is a known liar."
Not dead, just feeling like it.
How fleeting...
"MAKE THE SENIOR BRICK HAPPEN!"
I don’t even know anymore.
Li'l Shardfinder
He's got it so far from paused, it's shooting off into the stratmosphere...
and
Mr. Tambou-fucking-rine Man!
(I was watching LGR's LP of Skyscraper Simulator, and one of the construction vehicles was named "Crude Dylan".)
edited 23rd Apr '15 7:19:23 PM by Fuzy2K
You can not go to Utah again after you have eaten Utah and have not eaten.
OH YES!!
"i was gonna say cant tame me but i bust into laughter and fell on my face"
And for actual spoken word: "Touch me and I'll punch you into next year. Do not pass Go, do not collect birthday gifts."
(Agender. They/Them pronouns.)
New account is voidify
"THIS ASSHOLE CLEARED MY HISTORY"
Edit: didn't actually say or type that, lol
edited 24th Apr '15 3:09:31 PM by SmartGirl333
New account is voidify
"Nobody's adding to this butt, can I delete it?"
"please move your fish away from my plan"
edited 24th Apr '15 3:26:46 PM by SmartGirl333
Back after a long hiatus
"That tie is made of paper..."
“Not a promise, not an oath, or a malediction or a curse. Inevitable." - Taylor Hebert
I fought the Lore, and the Lore won.
paraphrased: "So I put the ugly orc jester in an ice cave with a 30' tall lute playing bear, 20 spidermen, 1 madman, 6 bowls and 6 baskets, both volumes of the finest smut, and 420 dragonflies in jars."
"I forgot to mention that I encircled the outside of said cave with an assortment of human hearts, elf ears and giant toes."
edited 24th Apr '15 7:38:34 PM by Blackcoldren
Not dead, just feeling like it.
"Girls have fingers, too."
what do you mean I didn't win, I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else
Li'l Shardfinder
Now, I'm just a soul whose intestines are wood...
No wait, that's not right...
You can not go to Utah again after you have eaten Utah and have not eaten.
"We don't have a booty anymore."
I fought the Lore, and the Lore won.
"Boozeman Lan fuck my heart."
I misheard "Boesmanland vat my hand.".
edited 25th Apr '15 12:34:08 PM by Blackcoldren
Not dead, just feeling like it.
Well, this may not count, as I said it YESTERDAY and not today, and I'm paraphrasing, but...
"A halfling and his Goblin slave in the best romantic comedy of the year!"
"BILLY MAYS HERE FOR AN ERECTION THAT LASTS LONGER THAN FOUR HOURS"
Back after a long hiatus
"You killed me by sneezing on me!"
"ROBO SPIIIIIIIN"
“Not a promise, not an oath, or a malediction or a curse. Inevitable." - Taylor Hebert
Konknitive Dissonance
"Evidently, stupid people are cartoon characters."
Watch Worlds Dumbest, the people you see on that show are like cartoon characters. Not exaggerating.
"Well, you're a very cute shit."
what do you mean I didn't win, I ate more wet t-shirts than anyone else
A chub from the Grant Corporation
Peeping deer!
I live in the remote wilderness park where I work five days a week. There’s no shower in my park housing, so I have to go out and use the camp shower, which is coin-operated, but because I am an employee, I have the means to override this. Said override is located on a control panel in the supply closet, so travelling back and forth between the supply closet, I spotted a deer bounding off into the forest beyond.
Confirmed Bachelors: the dramedy hit of 1883!
I fought the Lore, and the Lore won.
"Because it came from a crack full of packers."
Not dead, just feeling like it.
Li'l Shardfinder
"Play-Doh into wine"?
(I misheard the first line in Baltimora's "Juke Box Boy". That gave me an interesting mental image of Jesus actually turning Play-Doh into wine.) 
drunk bunny
YOU'VE GOT TO MUSSOLINI
"There's not a girl alive who wouldn't be happy being called cute." ~Tamamo-no-Mae
"The end will be the tower's time breaking jig."
Not dead, just feeling like it.