Schlock Mercenary

Oh, I guess that's what this was about. I thought it then and I'm sure of it now: What the hell, Thurl.

Anyway, presumably Monobrow isn't in on it, so that means the mission is kill or obtain the surrender of the rest of the police department, put Monobrow in charge, and then have him pay you. But as the "immunity from prosecution—not!" thing shows, he might not be trustworthy either.

edited 4th Jul '09 11:50:23 PM by Haven

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku

... blackmail them into increasing the contract by a hefty amount, point out that they fly around with far, far more firepower than a police force could ever hope to muster, and report to Tagon that they got paid twice? >.>

Of course, this is Howard Tayler. I'm suspecting that things are going to be far weirder... and far funnier.. than we expect

Yeah, I think that's about the right answer, Te Chameleon. Just gotta keep digging until you obtain solid proof that can be used for blackmail.

I didn't even think of the fact that Monobrow can't be in on it. Or at least, if he is, he knows that when the truth comes out he'll smell clean and get to claim the vacated rungs on the ladder.

And what do you mean "far weirder"? This is already a pretty darn unexpected plot twist that turns the entire scenario on its head.

Your funny quote here! (Maybe)

Oh, right◊, I'd almost forgotten that on top of all this is Lunesby (who I'm fairly certain is the entity contacting Schlock right now).

I think this comic may be a candidate for Most Triumphant Example of Thirty Xanatos Pileup, because just about every arc involves Loads And Loads Of Factions.

edited 5th Jul '09 8:05:20 PM by Haven

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku

I was about to post with "What's this? Another side?" until you pointed out that we do know somebody who could be doing this. Schlock just doesn't know that she's involved. Rather more direct than how anyone expected her to help when they asked for it, but she can't get in trouble for meddling if it's this untracable.

edit: I just noticed how... off-target the actual targeted ad was.

edited 6th Jul '09 6:05:33 AM by Brickman

Your funny quote here! (Maybe)

Egad! "Evil men are using you to track me down." Was this whole circus investigation a plot to get Lunesby? It's hard to believe that hacking into circus computers would draw down so much heat on Lunesby unless it was a setup.

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. — George S. Patton

... I feel almost sorry for the 'evil men' in question. I get the rather distinct impression that Schlock doesn't like to be played.

Hmm... you know, we always talk about how quotable this webcomic is. So just how quotable is it? What are some of your favourite quotes.

First one that comes to mind for me is the one from this strip

• Ennesby: You there on the ground. Drop your weapon, or be fired upon.
• Kreely Sentry: I'll die before I'll
• SFX: T H O O O M
• Ennesby: ". . .finish my sentence." I think he was saying.

edited 11th Jul '09 7:06:18 AM by TeChameleon

The comm's going to self-destruct, isn't it.

One of my favorite quotes was "Oops. Brad, I think some of those walls were structural."

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku

I guess the pieces are all falling in place now. The police here are the bad guys, they killed the clown and are hiring the Toughs as bait for Lunesby. Toughs get to bail Lunesby instead. Circus really is just an ordinary business with nothing especially illegal or relevant in its past. Now Toughs get to help out an old friend and embarrass their current employers. I wonder, though, whether and when Lunesby would have asked the Toughs for help if they hadn't been in the neighborhood to get hired for this investigation.

Also, won't it be fun if the Toughs get brought in to work for Petey again just after rescuing and while harboring another powerful illegal AI who most likely was going to run straight to Petey once she got free? Of course, they won't know they'll be working for him, just Kerchak. In theory. At least until they sign the contract.

Your funny quote here! (Maybe)

Maybe, somehow, she's the one who got them hired for this to begin with? By leaving Monobrow a hint or something?

Huh, hadn't thought about that part of it.

But the Toughs probably know that Kerchak's under Petey's wing. They were there when he filled out an application for citizenship to emigrate to Petey's AI Utopia, based solely on the fact that there were no lawyers. (Which I thought was a little extreme, until I remembered another character chose being torn to pieces by a mob of angry amorphs over a trial.)

Sometimes I wonder if a lawyer shot the cartoonist's dad or something.

aka Venhax

Bear in mind that Schlock Mercenary is an extremely cynical comic and that Petey's complete intolerance of lawyers is actually a subtle hint at his raging Knights Templar tendencies.

That said, the Toughs have pissed off Sol Authorities so many times I am astonished they are still able to enter the system legally. I'd wonder if this'll finally be the thing that makes them outlaws in Sol, but I'm beginning to think they have an Omnescient Morality Lisence in that regard.

Again with the data mining, dear Aunt?

Well, lawyers are Acceptable Targets, and the main source of them in the Schlockverse happens to be a soulless collective of sapient hive-minded serpents. Okay, I'm not sure to what extent the concept of "sapience" can be applied to individuals within a hive-mind; they seem to be at least somewhat individually sentient, but... never mind. Point is, they're talking snakes.

I imagine it started out as "lawyer jokes are easy" before the story became quite so far-reaching in scope, and Tayler ran with it 'cos, well, lawyer jokes are easy. Not That There's Anything Wrong with That.

As far as the Omniscient Morality License comment, Korgy, they are pretty chummy with the second-closest thing to an omniscient/-potent being in the Schlockverse after Tayler himself. Or is that what you meant?

the dice are loaded, the deck is stacked, the game itself will hold you back

Hey, it's Lull again! Yay.

Anyway: the Toughs were exiled from Sol System for quite some time, but now that Xinchub is gone and their memories were altered so they think Petey betrayed them

 ^*, it seems that the UNS are keeping them around under the old "friends closer, enemies closer" standby. "Highly Effective Pirates" has to have something to say about that.

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku

OK well that actually makes sense, then.

Also, thanks for explaining how the memory altering thing worked, because I never quite understood they now thought Petey was a bad guy, explains why Petey is working through a proxy.

Again with the data mining, dear Aunt?

Oh, I forgot that they think Petey sold them out. Well then I guess it's a good thing they don't know he's funding their next mission.

And remind me what planet they're on? I know Lunesby's stuck in Sol, but I thought the Toughs were still banned from there and that this mission was somewhere else (up to this point).

Your funny quote here! (Maybe)

They're on Mars.

And I didn't really catch the whole memory-modification thing, exactly, either. It was a bit fuzzy, to be honest. I wound up just sort of filing it mentally under 'the same thing that happened to Schlock's sawed-off multicannons'.

But... there was a whole arc devoted to the memory thing. They were going to be killed until Petey suggested it to the UNS.

Your funny quote here! (Maybe)

Oh aye, I remember the arc, I just wasn't sure on what was going on with the 'modification' end of things. It honestly wasn't very clear :/

Relevant link.

edit: Ok, today's comic is the funniest thing ever written.

edited 12th Jul '09 9:52:25 PM by Brickman

Your funny quote here! (Maybe)

Y'know... I'm kind of glad to see Schlock getting some solo screentime. He is the star of the comic after all, and he hasn't gotten to do much in a while. Can't wait to see just how much damage he's going to get to do

To me, Schlock Mercenary has been an artifact title for most of the comic's run, increasingly as it's gone on. Kevyn and Tagon are the main characters, probably Kevyn a little more so than Tagon. Don't think this is a bad thing, necessarily.

Anyway: I don't think going on a bender is going to help things, Sarge◊. Especially not a kitty-eating one.

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku

"Fresh" kittens. I'm reminded of the Kreely arc, so this isn't actually a new low for him...

Your funny quote here! (Maybe)

OK, so clearly the line about "Fresh Kittens" was meant to be implying what I thought it was implying.

I'm reading back at the bit about the altered memories and now I'm really confused. Firstly, it's very vague about what they actually remembered. Nowhere is there any mention of Petey screwing them over. Amongst other things, it's implied that Schlock's memories were not sucessfully altered, but he's keeping what he knows to himself, for reasons of his own.

Again with the data mining, dear Aunt?

The infodump about what they remember happening is here, the bit about the Toughs thinking that Petey betrayed them them is here (and a little more in the next strip).

And while it did successfully work on Schlock, he managed to preserve his memories by shoving them into his eyeball—but he can't tell anyone because then they'd kill his friends. It's not clear why there hasn't been any fallout from him killing Doctor Ihearttortureovich, since as the CSI arc established he's leaving bits of himself around; I can only assume that the UNS can't (directly) go after Schlock for it because that would probably lead to the whole thing coming out into the open.

edited 14th Jul '09 3:19:21 AM by Haven

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku

Thanks, that third link filled me in, in a way those first two (which I'd already read) hadn't.

The trouble is that "infodump" is just a bunch of war story highlights with absolutely no content about the political situation. This is, admittedly, what Tagon and his crew would probably focus on, because all they really care about is Stuff Blowing Up.

Again with the data mining, dear Aunt?