What Measure Is A Non Human: Advertising
- Many insecticide commercials (Raid in particular) feature talking cartoon bugs fleeing in terror before being mercilessly destroyed by a cheerful housewife with a spray can. One Raid commercial even had a cockroach maternity ward get wiped out this way.
- A similar commercial for stain remover had a talking carpet stain get dissolved and wiped out of existence by a cheerful housewife while he directly begged her to spare his life. And the smile never leaves her face.
- A commercial from years ago, for some store or another, had two talking trees announcing the store had a big sale on all wooden products. One of the trees asked where they'd get all that wood from. Cue the offscreen sound of a chainsaw starting up, and the two trees screaming in terror.
- An Ikea commercial showing an old lamp being replaced and abandoned.
Many of you feel bad for this lamp. That is because you are crazy. It has no feelings! And the new one is much better.
- In a strange subversion, Swiffer commercials used to have a mop being sad that a woman replaced it with a new Swiffer. People must have felt sorry for it, because in later commercials the mop actually gets into a relationship with several other objects. The commercials even say to not feel sorry for the mop.
- More recent Swiffer ads show a mud stain that looks and acts like a human Valley Girl in a brown dress or a film that looks and acts like a human classic movie star in a gray dress who refuse to let a mop take them away and fall in love with the Swiffer.
- Similar to the Raid example, Domestos bleach adverts in the UK (and possibly other countries) depicted anthropomorphic germs being melted by the bleach at the end of each advert, accompanied with the slogan "Millions of Germs Will Die" delivered in a flat, deadpan voice, often with the germ screaming in terror. The early adverts were borderline sinister, so in the years since they have attempted Rule of Funny to various degrees.
- Many commercials with sentient food (such as some M&M commercials) have them being either eaten or being chased around to be eaten.
- There was an M&M's commercial where Red, Yellow and Crispy are seen eating bags of their respective type. Patrick Warburton walks in, and questions that, while he's eating M&M's too, they're basically acting like cannibals. They proceed to swap bags and before he takes them away in disgust.
- A currently airing commercial has the Brown ( female ) M&M being warned to stay away from a chocoholic at a party, Brown's reaction? Set Red up on a date with the woman so she can eat him.
- An old Fig Newton commercial features a talking fig (an obvious guy in a fig costume) in a huge barrel yelling, "Fire! Fire" and pleading like this: "I love Fig Newtons, but only when I eat them, I don't want to be one!" When some kids run up and ask him where's the fire, he replies, "Would you come if I'd yelled, 'Newton! Newton'?"
- One lotion commercial features a talking rash, who wheedles the person it's on to scratch him. He panics when she decides to use the lotion instead.
- Pop Tarts full stop. The commercials feature Pop Tart characters and even give us glimpses into their hopes and dreams as well as showing them running in terror from the humans trying to eat them. One commercial has a male Pop Tart looking for his girlfriend when a human suddenly pops up and says "She was delicious" and then throws him into a toaster. The humans come off like psychopaths if you assign any human value to the Pop Tarts.
- Taken to horrific levels when a human "nurse" walks into a hospital nursery and prepares to eat a baby Pop Tart while it's parents (a jar of peanut butter and a jar of jelly) can only watch in horror.
- Ads for Mucinex, a respiratory decongestant designed to cause mucus to loosen and come up more quickly, feature sentient globs of mucus happily making a home in somebody's lung. They're usually played up as massive effin' pricks who get comfortable by deliberately making their unwilling host uncomfortable, and tend to be incorrigible slobs, so we're clearly supposed to sympathize with the humans who use Mucinex.