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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Happy Wheels
The Irresponsible Dad and the moped driver are the same person.
  • The Moped guy could be the Dad at a younger age, possibly before he had a son. Or the same age and he's just spending time with different people.
  • Expanding on this, the Moped Couple gave birth to a child. The man broke up with the woman. The woman became depressed, and became obese. She had to use an electric scooter to walk about. She became quite an effective shopper. The man reluctantly raised the child by taking him out on bikerides. He did not ensure his son's safety, and injured him several times. Soon he was branded an Irresponsible Dad. His son grew up to be an upper-class yuppie who didn't leave his house without his segway. Thus, his co-workers called him a Segway guy. One day, as he woke up with greying hair,and withering body, he had an epiphany and decided to explore the world. He purchased a minecart and set off to explore caves. He made many friends throughout his adventures, but it all soon led to injury. He was soon airlifted back to his home, but was considered too old to stay. In his nursing home, he openly complained. He told his friends of the situation, and they came up with a solution. Tie a jetpack to his wheelchair. So they did. He became Wheelchair guy.

Future character ideas
  • A clown on a unicycle
  • Baby carriage.
    • Even better would be Baby Timmy pushed around by the Irresponsible Dad's wife!
      • Semi-confirmed. Check out Irresponsible Mom.
  • A kid on a tricycle.
  • Flying carpet
  • Rider on horseback
  • Railroad lever-powered cart.
  • A Quintessential British Gentleman on a Penny Farthing, or old Safety bicycle.
  • A guy on roller skates.
  • An extreme skateboarder.
    • Or a dog on a skateboard.
  • A man on skis with a rocket/jetpack strapped to his back for boosts.
  • A sprinter who just uses his legs.
  • A zombie who can keep riding even after his head gets torn off.
  • A guy on an ATV or a snowmobile.
  • An old person on a golf cart.
  • A person on a rickshaw being pulled by a servant.
  • A kid on a wagon or sled, maybe a Calvin expy.
  • A tank.

The Moped Couple are Amelie and Nino from the end of the movie.

The characters are unable to really "Die"
  • they remain fully conscious after death, but are not able to move. the pain they felt as they died never leaves them, and is intense, say for example: X was completely eaten up by Y's lawnmower, X would feel that excruciating pain forever, without anything but the pain, no senses, no mind. Characters have been known to cry in pain when their waist and up is being chopped by a lawnmower, and move if their top and lower body are solely connected by an intestine. If they were decapitated, they would feel the blade severing their neck forever, being able to see everything and hear everything going on around them, and remaining fully conscious with the pain that killed them.

Every character is actually designed in a laboratory to make the perfect mobile soldier
  • In the far future, humans are losing a battle against alien invaders. As such humans have decided to genetically engineer humans that have a fighting chance against any threat while also travelling in creative ways.
  • Wheelchair Guy can travel extremely quickly to the enemies but dies easily if he splats against a wall
  • Segway Guy is a typical foot soldier against the enemies, is fairly sturdy and can jump over things.
  • Irresponsible Dad is an ambulance unit for small children but isn't...very good at it
  • Efficient Shopper is designed to ram into large groups of enemies
  • Moped Couple is an ambulance unit used for more dire straits, it can travel a lot faster than the Irresponsible Dad model and so works a lot better at escorting patients.
  • Lawnmower Man is for when the only way to absolutely keep things dead is to shred it up into a billion pieces.
  • Explorer Guy is used to fight the Invaders on metal surfaces, but slips up easily on any other surface
  • Santa Claus is an odd example. The original Santa Claus was one of the Invaders who was captured and cloned, made obedient as well as two of his little Elven slaves.
  • Pogostick Man is a genetically perfect Ninja who can withstand a lot of damage and also perform amazing parkour with his pogo stick which is made of some amazingly strong metal- the same as most of the other vehicles.
  • Irresponsible Mom is an upgraded ambulance unit, because she can carry two more children than the Dad. Even then, she's not good at it.
  • The Invaders may be the same one as in Space Invaders, the hazards are equivalent to ones the Aliens use and all the User created levels are virtual simulations used to train the Clones and designed by a group of hyper-intelligent but somehow slightly retarded scientists.

A future character will be voiced by PewDiePie
  • Both Uber Haxor Nova and Pew Die are known for their Happy Wheels Let's Play videos, and Nova got to voice Pogo Stick Man.
    • Even better is if they replace the Irresponsible Dad's voice with him. Including "I DON'T CAAAAARE!"
    • Sort of Jossed by this post from Jason of Total Jerk Face.
    "Some of you have asked about having other YouTube gamers record vocals. We're not really planning on doing that. A male voice was needed and Nova, who happens to have a fairly unique voice, mentioned interest."

The Irresponsible Dad is a child kidnapper
Think about it ; he goes through a lots of dangers and don't seem to care at all when his son die. That would make sense, since he would only lose a source of income instead of, you know, his freakin' offspring! Also, the reason why the kid don't react at all is because Irresponsible Dad drugged him so much he really can't do anything but watch and move around like a ragged doll.
  • Alternatively, the kid is uncounscious.

The Segway Guy is the Irresponsible Dad's kid grown up
  • They have similar brown hair and the kid's voice clips are the same as the Segway Guy's but they're higher pitched.

The Game takes place in Hell
All the player characters were horrendous sinners in life (murderers, bigots, etc.) and this is their punishment; to run insanely violent courses and die in ridiculously gruesome ways over and over again for the Devil's amusement.
HazeWMG/Video GamesHatoful Boyfriend

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