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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Beyoncé
Beyonce has an army of robot bodyguards.
You know how in a lot of her music videos she has two backup dancers who stand behind her and mimic her movements? They're really Ridiculously Human Robots. She probably got them as gifts from Lady Gaga, who is secretly a Mad Scientist and does pop music as a hobby when she's not plotting to Take Over the World.

The music video for "Why Don't You Love Me" is her own prequel to "Telephone".
Let's see... B.B. Homemaker? The man who won't love her is the same man she and Gaga kill in the diner. She gets fed up with stooping to playing vintage-pinup domestic goddess, busts the other half of her Dream Team out of jail, takes a level in badass, and goes on a crime spree.
  • Oh thank god I'm not the only one who thinks this!
    • This makes perfect sense!

She's a Mary Sue.
Seems that way. Stunningly beautiful? Check. Gorgeous singing voice? Check. A dancer too, The Ace at performing, not many can beat her at it and rich and famous for it? Check. Hard-working and a sweetheart and Incorruptible Pure Pureness on top of it? Check. The Spotlight-Stealing Squad and tends to steal the spotlight from everyone around her? Check.

Single Ladies isn't as clear-cut as it seems.
It's actually about Beyonce trying to reassure herself that she didn't just ruin a good relationship for no reason.

"If I Were a Boy" Doesn't Mean What We Think It Means
When she says, "But you're just a boy," she means, "You're too immature," or "you're not half the man you think you are," and not "you're just a male." Explains why "Boy" is used instead of "man" so frequently except in the lines, "One day you'll wish you were a better man," and "I swear I'd be a better man."
  • To support this Beyoncé really only seems to be addressing one person in particular and not all men.

Beastie BoysWMG/MusicBig John

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