He wafts in, adding all sorts of tropes that have somehow
gone unmentioned up until that point. Then, just as quickly as he came, he floats away on a breeze. He is not a mere man, and he's certainly not a phart. No, he's something altogether different; a sort of man/phart hybrid...
Indeed, he is the Phartman
, and don't look now, but he's standing right behind you
Stuff he's done so far:
He's also gotten a wild hair in his ass and finally started writing a book in his spare time. If you desire to wish the Phartman luck, he thanks you. If you wish to make snide comments about his endeavor, the Phartman invites you to go find a sharp object and fall on it. Phartman doesn't phuck around.
: Still working on the book. Writing fiction isn't nearly as hard as I thought it'd be -in fact, it's actually a lot of fun- but it is
time-consuming. I don't want to spoil any details about the plot, but let me just say that Lucas wrote Star Wars
, Rowling wrote Harry Potter
, Tolkien wrote Lord of the Rings
and the McCafferys wrote Dragonriders of Pern
wouldn't have to. Two things I will promise you now, though: you will know exactly
who every character's parents are from the beginning, and there won't be any fucking vampires
in it, either.