Hi, I'm Louis Cypher, Head Manager of the Chaotic Evil Division at Trope Co.®, and I'm here to offer you the deal of a lifetime! Because deals are important. Deals let you have more without having to give away what you already have. Because wanting isn't just better than having.
You want the world? Have the world with Greed™!
With Greed™, you can desire all the material possessions you want for the sake of having them.
Sharing? Where did you hear such an ugly word? With Greed™, you don't have to share shit! Sharing is antithetical to Greed™. With Greed™, you can literally buy happiness! You can buy happiness and rent it to the poor loser pions beneath you in exchange for a flat-rate. That way, you can still have all the happiness you want and you can make money off of it!
Greed™ good. Not-Greed Bad.
Ask your doctor before prescribing to Greed™, as Greed™ can be addictive. Though with Greed™, you will be less willing to pay for medical insurance, you're also likely to lobby to make medical care needlessly expensive, making you less likely to visit a doctor for fear of having to give up more of your money or any missed opportunities to accumulate more money.
