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The Hatchetfield Ape-Man
- This story is more Played for Laughs than Played for Drama, and yet it did catch many viewers off-guard when Ted, of all people, ends up Taking the Bullet for Lucy and dying tragically in her arms. The fact that his last words ("Lucy... very... beautiful...") end up a Silent Whisper only adds to the effect.
Watcher World
- It's an Incredibly Lame Pun, of course, but the scene on the Tear-Jerker rollercoaster in "Watcher World" is legitimately a Tear Jerker. After we've spent this whole time absorbing Bill's paternal bumbling and Alice's teenage brattiness, suddenly Alice is shoved into a moment of real, childlike vulnerability and pain and Bill for once steps up to be the dad she needs him to be at that moment. The scene of Alice entering a panic attack and Bill slowly, calmly talking her out of it hit very close to home for many fans.
- And because of the impact of that scene, watching Bill and Alice's relationship break down again right away once things Snap Back to normal was even more heartbreaking. It's especially wrenching watching the Carnival Barker ruthlessly tear Bill down in public in order to drive him to his Rage Breaking Point.Barker: Ooh! He can't even do it for his daughter, ladies and gentlemen! No wonder she hates his guts!
Bill: (swings mallet) ERH!
Barker: He's a failure as a father!
Bill: (swings again) ERH!
Barker: He was a failure as a husband!
Bill: (swings yet again) ERH!!!
Barker: He's been a failure his whole fucking life! We know! We've been watching with a thousand eyes!
Bill: SHUT UP!!!
Bill swings the mallet, only this time he sees Alice’s head on the end of the lever. Before he can stop himself, Bill smashes in his daughter’s face with a bloody SPLAT!!! The lever sends the puck flying up the tower. DONG! It hits the bell so hard, the thing breaks right off.
Barker: We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen! (crowd cheers)
As the crowd goes wild, Bill drops to his knees. He pushes the mallet from the lever where he could’ve sworn he saw Alice’s face. There’s nothing there. Bill breaks down.
Bill: Alice?! Oh my God. What did I just do?
Barker: ...You've won, sir. - We don't see much of Alice's relationship with Deb, only knowing from Bill that he doesn't approve of Deb because he thinks that Alice can do better. He wants the perfect girl for his daughter, and Deb...isn't that from what he told Paul. It turns out that Bill was right; Alice gets her phone back after Bill accidentally drops it from the rollercoaster, and finds out from Instagram that Deb is hooking up with Zigs, cheating on Alice. This doesn't seem to be a lie that Watcher World cooked upnote ; the short ends with Alice only logging into Instagram to follow her father, before tossing her phone away and going to bed.
Time Bastard
- Just...all of it. Ted singlehandedly ruins his own life via time travel and kills the only person he ever loved slowly and painfully. The more you think about the depth of his grief and how much more he had to endure in his fifteen years as the Driven to Madness Homeless Man — and how, despite how little we know about the details, the Bastard's Box ensures his torment will never end even in death — the harder it is to laugh at any of his defeats and humiliations in past stories.
- The initial Hope Spot of Ted and Jenny's wedding deserves a special shout-out — it's played as a Heartwarming Moment, but because we know what kind of show this is we know that this isn't real and is very unlikely to work out for Ted. Which hurts, because for all Ted's Jerkass-ness his sheer overwhelmed, disbelieving joy at having Jenny in his arms again — clutching onto her for dear life, eyes closed to keep from bursting into tears — is heartbreakingly Played Straight. It's only when we see how happy he is in this moment that we realize how unhappy he's been in his life till now, hiding it behind his greasy "sleazeball" Comedic Sociopathy — and it gives full context to how the Awful Truth he was the one responsible for cutting off this possible future from himself all along is what finally and utterly breaks his mind.
Jane's a Car
- If "Time Bastard" was bad, "Jane's a Car" is worse. It is really, really hard to watch Tom Houston come so close to putting his life back together only to have it all ruined — systematically and deliberately ruined — by Jane's Gaslighting and manipulation. His struggle to do right by Jane while not hurting anyone else — especially not his son, or Becky — tears him to pieces, and his ultimate failure to save Becky completely destroys him. It's really saying something, but the final fall of Tom Houston to a depth so low he can never climb back up — as alluded to in "If I Fail You" in Black Friday — may be the most Downer Ending in a Hatchetfield show yet.
- The whole story from Tim's perspective. After the sudden and traumatic death of his mother, his father went into a year-long depression, during which he struggled to care of himself, much less his son, and their relationship suffered for it. But now, enough time has passed that his dad seems to have started to get his life back on track; they're going out and doing this as a family again, they can talk about his mom without it triggering anything, and he's even started seeing somebody. Even better, she's a sweet and affectionate woman who Tim takes to almost immediately, and she obviously makes his dad really happy. The first half of the story must've been a massive Hope Spot for Tim after what would've been a truly awful year for anyone, much less a young child. And then, seemingly out of nowhere, his dad goes crazy and tries to kill his new girlfriend, and ends up institutionalized, and his girlfriend is suddenly acting very strange and not at all like the kindly woman he was getting to know. There's also the possibility that Jane-as-Becky will put him through a stressful and very public custody battle against either Child Protective Services or his Aunt Emma... or, even worse, that she'll just kidnap him. That poor kid has an absolute nightmare ahead of him, and he doesn't even know.
The Witch in the Web
- The plot in this chapter moves too fast to really dwell on tragedy the way "Time Bastard" and "Jane's a Car" do, but the sheer shittiness of the life Lex and Hannah had to endure with Pamela — and the way everyone, even Duke, whose job is to fight back against situations like this, accepts there's not much to be done — hurts like hell. Especially The Reveal that Lex went to prison for four years willingly, because she truly believed the alternative was making Hannah's situation even worse than it was. Just looking at Kendall Nicole's acting through this story you can see a little girl who's been pushed to the brink of despair over and over again — and yet somehow, at the end, triumphs anyway against all odds.
Honey Queen
- Gerald is able to save his son from Sam Sweetly, but he dies in the process. Unaware of this, Linda calls him after killing Zoey and winning the contest, saying that she loves him.
Daddy
- Frank's situation is utterly pitiable. Toy Zone - revealed to have been Frank's dream since he was a child - is on the verge of closing thanks online shopping, and he's risking bankruptcy because of it. His dog dies within the first few minutes of the episode. It seems like his luck is finally changing when the obscenely wealthy Sheila Young takes an interest in him, immediately asking him to marry her and save his toy store. Soon after the wedding, however, it becomes glaringly obvious that Sheila is a controlling, abusive shrew, coddling her forty-year-old son Sherman to the point of utter ridiculousness and berating Frank if he even tries to deny Sherman anything he wants. After a particularly nasty argument, Sheila locks Frank out of the house, where he would have died of hypothermia if he hadn't managed to scale a gutter and get Sherman to let him back into the house. And when he finally decides he's had enough and is packing his things, Sheila reveals her true colors - she's been finding Sherman new "daddies" for years, killing them off when they stopped being compliant. She traps Frank in a dungeon under her mansion with the last "daddy", Barry Swift (aka the Man in a Hurry), who has a badly infected injury. They're both trapped down there for another two weeks before Frank finally manages to lift the keys from a too-trusting Sherman...only for Barry to succumb to his infection and die in Frank's arms. Frank tries to carry Barry's body with him, but is forced to abandon it to save himself, and still ends up being caught by Sheila. She's set to drain him of the remaining years of his life to remain young...only for Sherman to turn on his mother and drain her instead, deaging himself into a seven-year-old, forcing Frank to take care of him for the rest of both their lives, which Sherman plans on making as long as possible through the draining spell.
Killer Track
- Through some sort of unrevealed "deal" she made, Miss Holloway has to leave at the end of the story in order to preserve the mystery of her identity, and in doing so, her magic erases the memories of everyone in the town - including Duke, with whom she has a heart-wrenching goodbye. Props to Kim Whalen and Curt Mega for selling Miss Holloway's acceptance of the inevitability of this heartbreak and Duke's attempt to bargain for the memories he has of his love.
- Made even more emotional during the flash-forward that ends the episode, where she returns as "Miss Holiday" and knows Duke's nickname, even though he introduces himself as "Doug."
Yellow Jacket
- Trying to save Ethan and allow him to have a life of his own, Lex takes Hannah and escapes overnight at the end of the story, leaving Ethan a letter explaining her decision. Angela is clearly crying reading the letter, and it's heartbreaking.
- Followed up by happy tears when Hannah and Lex are on the road, finally escaping Hatchetfield and accepting their new life.
- There are many different ways to interpret "Next Time," the song that ends the episode, but every lens through which to view the song is still emotional in some form.
