For maximum immersion, turn the volume up and the lights down, put on the soundtrack
, and stand up if possible.
Welcome back, kids! Welcome to my page. Call me two faced - call me anytime - call me Baron Samedi! Scope this! Check it out, children: talent, raw talent! And baby, believe me, rock and roll is good for the soul, except - I AIN'T GOT ONE! Now how's that for an opener from a good looking corpse!
Now here's the scoop, kids. Whenever old Uncle Baron says, "Thrill Me", you'll stand straight up... Oh? You're the only one here, and you want to explain who I am and some tropes? You're in the wrong place at the wrong time... but I'm feeling generous.
I'm a zombie, as if you couldn't tell. You see all the imitations over there? Hahahaha... Uncle Baron here is the only real deal.
Listen up. I used to be A VJ. I'd play music for peeps and had them join my frightclub, The Cathedral Of Jive. My slogan was "Everybody’s welcome! it doesn’t matter if you are a somebody or a nobody. Just as long as you’re a body!" It was a scream, one to be had, for sure.
Now that I'm stuck in the Other Side, I had the chance to challenge that Gatekeeper in that game, but then I got my own! It's fast, it's frightening, it's a freakin' party! I also got to play with a Witch, a Vampire, and a Mummy (even if it got delayed)! But you can't deny that my game is the best, eh, kiddo? Still, l've been feeling a little lonely lately... Wanna join? Of course you do!
Trope time! Big time! Party time! And then some!
- Affably Evil: I may be a zombie, but as in life, surely I should be a kind host to all babes who play with me... Well, with the exception of Dirtbag.
- Body Horror: Hey, ugly: top this! *Baron removes his hat to reveal his brains* Do you like it? Man, those earthworms don't do anything for a guy's complexion!
- Character Catchphrase: Yo? Whose go? Thrill me! And you better answer "Yo Baron, I can dig it", or you're gonna hit the hole!
- Color-Coded Characters: Green suits me real well, doesn't it? But it used to be white... Whatever.
- Counting to Three: Hey Dirtbag, if you ain't out of the room, and out of my sight by the count of five, you're gonna miss that many turns! One! Two! Three, four, five!
- The GM Is a Cheating Bastard: If you got me from the bag, then I may as well give you some cards and extra turns while we're at it! Hey, if you can't help yourself... who can you help?
- Hypocritical Humor: As long as I'm here, keep standing... I hate bad manners. *snort* *spit*
- Malicious Misnaming: Got used to that name yet, Dirtbag? Thrill me!
