Lila: Like a prolapsing rectum.
"Kugelblitz" is the fourth episode of The Umbrella Academy's third season.
Flashbacks reveal that Harlan and Sissy moved around the country because of Harlan's powers, before Sissy's death on the Hargreeves' birthday. Sloane awakens to see Jayme's and Alphonso's corpses and tries to flee but is quickly caught. Allison tries to Rumor her into revealing the location of the briefcase, to no avail. Harlan tells Viktor that he can sense superpowered individuals. Luther suggests returning Sloane and the bodies to the Sparrows as a gesture of goodwill, but at the handoff Ben demands Harlan. Viktor learns Harlan had killed the Umbrella Academy's mothers the day Sissy died. In order to let off some steam, Diego takes Allison to do some old-fashioned vigilantism against some white supremacists.
Diego puts Stan and Klaus to work in cleaning up hotel rooms to pay for the damages. The two stumble upon a room for the "White Buffalo Society" where Stan accidentally kills Klaus with a harpoon gun.
Meanwhile, Five and Lila arrive at Commission headquarters, which is seemingly destroyed and abandoned due to the grandfather paradox despite being outside of time. They learn that in the event of such a paradox, the "founder" should be remanded to a "bunker". The man they find there turns out to be older Five, who explains that the orb in the Hargreeves basement is a kugelblitz, a distortion that will destroy the universe.
Tropes:
- 419 Scam: Diego calls Luther out for trusting Sloane, citing the time he trusted a "Nigerian prince" when they were younger.Luther: Tunde was not a prince, he was a king, and he was unjustly deposed!
- Almost Dead Guy: Old Five can only tell his younger self not to save the world before passing away, leaving the latter to wonder what he means.
- Apocalyptic Log: In the destroyed Commission office, Five watches a video narrating that people disappeared from the Commission due to a rip in spacetime.
- Asshole Victim: One of the flashbacks shows how Harlan used his powers on a group of bullies that had him pinned down and were beating him up. It's hard to feel sorry for them.
- Baldness Means Sickness: Sissy has distinctive blonde curls, so when we see her in 1989 at a hospital with a bald head, it's easy to guess that she isn't long for this world.
- Beyond the Impossible: The Grandfather Paradox the Umbrellas accidentally created is so temporally destructive it destroyed the Commission, which is outside of time.
- Bob from Accounting: In Herb's Apocalyptic Log, he states "Josh from accounting" was one of the many erased by the paradox.
- Call-Back: A hilarious and subtle one. Five rubs his wrist after putting down the briefcase. This brings to mind Hazel's complaint about his wrist killing him in Season 1.
- Cassandra Truth: Unfortunately, Diego does not believe Klaus for one second when the latter claims there was a glowing orb of light in the Hargreeves basement.
- Contrived Coincidence: The death of the Umbrella's mothers and the subsequent creation of the kugelblitz were due to Sissy's death coincidentally being on the same day the Umbrellas were scheduled to be born.
- Freudian Excuse: Discussed with Klaus, who realizes all the shitty things he did was because of Reginald's high expectations and then Ben's ghost latching onto him.
- Future Self Reveal: The founder of the Commission, an organization that has specifically caused trouble for the Hargreeves siblings and mainly Five out of them, was actually found by Five in his future.
- Immediate Self-Contradiction: Klaus and Stan claim they have nothing in common. Diego says they do: being a pain in his ass. Both of them hurl insults at him as he leaves.
- Important Haircut: Distraught by the increasingly worse turns of events since arriving back in 2019, Allison breaks a mirror and cuts her hair down to a bob with one of the shards.
- Ludicrous Gibs: Harlan accidentally reduces a rabbit who bit him to these with his powers.
- Never the Selves Shall Meet: Played with. Though Five feels Paradox Psychosis rapidly setting in as he and Lila get closer to the Operations Bunker, it completely vanishes when they enter it. This is because Old Five has specifically built his bunker to be paradox proof to avert any issues with his multiple selves meeting.
- Noodle Incident: Apparently, Klaus once picked a lock with only his teeth on Quaaludes, while partially paralyzed, no less.
- Person as Verb: Klaus asks if Viktor went "full Carrie" (ie. losing control of their powers and causing mass destruction in the process) again.
- Really Moves Around: Sissy and Harlan had to move around a lot because of Harlan's usage of his powers. We get a montage of Sissy slamming down the car trunk every time they leave a different city.
- The Reveal: Harlan somehow unleashed a surge of energy that killed the Umbrellas' mothers.
- Took a Level in Jerkass: Allison continues her increased aggression and despair, which she takes out on her siblings and Sloane. Lampshaded by Diego, who comments that Allison is no longer the nice one.
- When I Was Your Age...: Klaus says that his nephew's punishment of having to clean dozens of hotel rooms is nothing compared to the punishment Klaus got at Stan's age.
