Recap / M*A*S*H S5 E18: Hanky Panky

Committed family man B.J. falls "off the fidelity wagon" with a nurse whose husband has just asked for a divorce – and feels sick about it.

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Attention, all personnel! B.J. regrets the following tropes:

• Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder:
  • Contributes to B.J.'s cheating and Nurse Donovan's divorce.
    B.J.: Hawk, her husband's back in the States and, uh, their marriage is in trouble.
    Hawkeye: Gee, I can't understand why. They're only 12,000 miles apart.
  • Averted according to Margaret, who claims Donald is "so devoted, it's scary". Other episodes would suggest otherwise...
• The Atoner: B.J. in spades. He even starts writing a letter to confess all to Peg, but is interrupted by Hawkeye, who talks him out of it.
• Bait-and-Switch: In the mess tent, Klinger approaches the table with a coffee pot in hand:
  Klinger: Colonel, how'd you like a delicious cup of coffee?
  Col. Potter: I'd love it.
  Klinger: [pouring] Me, too. This stuff stinks.
• Call-Back: To "The More I See You", as Hawkeye asks B.J. "Who gets an A in fidelity?" (which was Arc Words in that ep).
• Deadpan Snarker: A rare demonstration of this from Frank Burns, who gets off a couple of zingers at Donald's expense.
  • After Margaret tells Colonel Potter that she hasn't gotten a letter from him in days:
    Col. Potter: Not much I can do, Major. Maybe Penobscott's busy.
    Frank: Yeah, learning to write.
  • And shortly afterward:
    Margaret: [to Potter] I'm worried about Donald. He works so hard.
    Frank: Maybe he strained himself thinking.
  • And still later, after Margaret learns he's in the Tokyo hospital, we get some tag-team snarking from a most unexpected pair:
    Hawkeye: Maybe he's having a neck installed.
    Frank: Or getting his upper lip starched.
• "Dear John" Letter: Donovan gets a "Dear Jane" letter from her husband.
• Descent into Addiction: Frank tries to make nice with Margaret in her tent, but soon can't help himself and has to make a pass at her/grope her.
• I Resemble That Remark!: After Radar delivers a letter from Donald to Margaret:
  Margaret: Wait a minute! This letter has been opened. Look.
  Radar: [defensively] Sometimes they come like that.
  Margaret: And sometimes they're opened by creepy company clerks who like to peek at intimate personal passages!
  B.J.: Come on, Margaret, that's uncalled-for.
  Hawkeye: It's not fair.
  Radar: Yeah, and it wasn't even very intimate, either!
• Lampshade Hanging: B.J. turns Hawkeye down, so he asks out Carrie, and she calls him out on making her second fiddle so obviously.
• Last-Second Word Swap: Frank pulls this (ineffectively).
  Col. Potter: I don't mind singing in the O.R. I'm liable to bust out myself any minute.
  Frank: Oh, go right ahead, Colonel. It'll do your old heart... middle-aged heart good, sir. [laughs nervously]
  Col. Potter: You certainly have a winning way, Junior.
• Noodle Incident: Whatever Donald Penobscot did to give himself a double hernia on the rope climb.
• Serial Killer: Klinger's latest Section 8 con has him confessing to being one of these (the "Toledo Strangler") and asking Colonel Potter to extradite him back to Toledo "for a lengthy jury trial". Potter refuses to buy it, especially since the newspaper clipping Klinger helpfully provides states that the most recent murder was just two weeks ago.
• Shout-Out:
  • The episode opens with Hawkeye singing "I Only Have Eyes for You" in surgery. And later he recites "I'm Late" from Disney's Alice in Wonderland.
  • Radar explains to Hawkeye why he's so tired at breakfast:
    Radar: I didn't get any sleep last night. I dreamt I was dancing with Major Houlihan, and Betty Grable woke me up, or somethin' like that.
• Title Drop: Between Hawkeye and B.J.:
  Hawkeye: Are you sure there's nothing going on between you two kids?
  B.J.: Honest.
  Hawkeye: A little hanky panky after Taps?
  B.J.: Scout's honor.

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