B.J., Hawkeye and Winchester reluctantly take on the assignment of overseeing which of the enlisted personnel are eligible for promotion, and while B.J. and Hawkeye have to fend off those who try currying favor with them, Winchester is physically threatened by one of them. Meanwhile, Col. Potter bonds with Danielson, a young patient.
Attention all personnel! The following tropes will appear on the promotion quiz:
- Armor-Piercing Question: When Danielson gets fed up with being virgin shamed, he announces he's signing up for Explosive Ordnance Disposal and asks, "Any of you he-men got the guts to go with me?" His squad mates are shocked into silence for once.
- Artistic License – Military:
- Assuming he had not gotten in trouble that disqualified him from promotion, Private Igor Straminsky should've been eligible for promotion from E2 to E3 without needing to appear before a promotion board.
- Being a motor pool sergeant, Rizzo's promotion board would have required a quartermaster officer.
- All of the candidates for promotion should've been asked the same set of questions to keep things fair.
- The moment Elmo Hitalski threatened Winchester he could've been reported to Potter and arrested for threatening Winchester. Due to his prior violent history he could've been brought up on charges and probably be sent to prison. note
- The Chains of Commanding: Played for Laughs - when B.J., Hawkeye and Winchester all beg off from serving on the promotion board, Col. Potter responds, "I knew I could count on you boys to accept my direct command."
- Character Development: In "Soldier of the Month", when Klinger was taking an Army-related exam, he failed miserably even though he tried to cheat. This time, he passes with flying colors, and gets promoted to sergeant as a result.
- Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: Elmo Hitalski tells Winchester, "If I ain't promoted, I'm making you responsible, and I'm gonna take out my frustrations on your face."
- Like a Son to Me: Col. Potter gets to feel this way about Danielson, while Danielson, in turn, feels Col. Potter is like the father he never had.
- Non-Answer: When Winchester asks Rizzo a question on the quiz, instead of answering, Rizzo brings up his family and how patriotic he and they are.
- On Second Thought: Barely averted. Hawkeye announces to everyone in the mess tent that while he's on the promotion board, his favors "cannot be begged, bought or borrowed", and he resents those trying to curry favor with him - and that's when Igor approaches with a strawberry shortcake, Hawkeye's favorite food (Igor had earlier tried the same approach with B.J., using steak with onions and mushrooms), even offering to have a woman bring it by his tent later. However, while Hawkeye is tempted, he ultimately sends it away.
- Really Gets Around: Lampshaded by Rizzo, who tells the nurse Hawkeye is trying to flirt with, "Ask any nurse in camp. They all say that Hawkeye Pierce is the most gentlemanly stud who ever tried to score off 'em."
- Take a Third Option: Winchester has been physically threatened by Elmo Hitalski if he doesn't get promoted (see Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon above), but as B.J. and Hawkeye point out, if he did promote Hitalski, Col. Potter and I-Corps would never go for it. Instead, B.J., Hawkeye and Klinger come up with the idea of giving Hitalski forged promotion papers and telling him he's being transferred to another company, so they can report him AWOL and let the M.P's deal with him.
- Unwanted Assistance: When Hawkeye is flirting with a nurse in the mess tent, Rizzo comes in and announces both his presence and accomplishments loudly. An upset Hawkeye points out he's trying to flirt with a nurse, Rizzo tries to assure the nurse how Hawkeye will treat her (see Really Gets Around above), but instead drives her away, which Hawkeye does not like.Rizzo: I just wanted to he'ep.
Hawkeye: I don't need your he'ep! - Virgin-Shaming: Danielson's fellow soldiers give him a hard time about the fact he not only is staying faithful to his girlfriend back home, but that he hasn't slept with her at all because he's saving that for marriage.
- What the Hell, Hero?: Col. Potter does this to Danielson when he finds out Danielson wants to sign up for Explosive Ordnance Disposal so he won't get teased all the time (see Virgin-Shaming above).
