After losing his drivers' license, Cotton moves in with Dale and steals the wooden leg of Antonio López de Santa Anna to use as a bargaining chip to get a new license.
Tropes in the episode:
- The Bad Guy Wins: Cotton ultimately meets his goal and heads up to the DMV in Mexico and gets his license in exchange for Santa Anna's leg.
- Counting to Three: On the school bus after the museum trip, the museum manager gets on the bus and accuses the kids of taking the leg. Hank tells them he's closing his eyes and expects them to cough up the leg, but when he turns his head outside, he sees to his horror that Cotton and Dale took the leg for themselves.
- Drives Like Crazy: Cotton drives like this, due to his age and failing eyesight. He almost runs over Bill and the beer cooler and later ends up crashing into a parking meter.
- Driving Test: Cotton has the eye test memorized, but due to Hank's concern over not being able to drive, has the clerk change the test sheet to intentionally fail him. He does not take it well when he learns the truth.
- Fakin' MacGuffin: The prop leg that was used for the school play shows up later when it's brought to the Mexican government, given to a Mexican soldier to walk on, which of course breaks, unbeknownst to them Cotton had the real one.
- Flirtatious Smack on the Ass: Cotton does this to a female cop who's writing him up, resulting in him being handcuffed and Hank taking him off her hands.
- Fun with Acronyms: How Cotton memorizes the eye test: "Some Day, Governor Reagan Will Run For President." Not that it works, since Hank has the clerk change the sheet.
- Grumpy Old Man: Not counting his crimes mentioned under Jerkass, Cotton doesn't take the news well that Santa Anna's leg is going back to Mexico because he thinks it belongs to America. Of course, these feelings come from Japan taking away his shins.
- Hartman Hips: What Cotton thinks Didi has but it just got magnified through a glass jar.
- How Dad Met Mom: We see how Cotton meets Didi; he was at the hospital to have his shins drained where Didi worked as a nurse and she knocked over a glass jar of tongue depressors and as she bends over to pick them up, he sees her rear magnified through the glass, making it look big and leading to Cotton hitting it off with her.
- Jerkass: Cotton is at his worst here. He breaks off the relationship with Didi because she wouldn't knit him a blanket, tells Hank he should have killed himself because he had the drive clerk change the vision test, steals Santa Anna's leg as a ransom to get his drivers' license and tries to kill Dale when he blabs to the cops.
- Karma Houdini: Dale is just as guilty in helping steal the leg, but other than Cotton trying to kill him, he gets off scot-free.
- Kick the Dog: After Cotton finds out Hank had the drive clerk change the eye test, it leads to a heated discussion, with Hank arguing he know what's best for his dad. Cotton's response? "If you knew what's best for me, you'd have drowned yourself two days after you was born."
- Loose Lips: Dale does this twice:
- The first time, he gives away that Hank sabotaged the vision test so Cotton can fail, this after Hank insults Dale's idea of putting a sail on Cotton's car so it can be classified as a boat.
- The second was when the cops arrive at Dale's house and gives away that Cotton took the leg.
- MacGuffin: Santa Anna's wooden leg.
- Malaproper: Luanne hears about the stolen leg from the news and goes up to Hank and Peggy and tells them it's been stolen from the Santa Claus Exhibit.
- Mooning: Hank drops Cotton off at Dale's house to get his stuff. After keeping Hank waiting for a long time, both Cotton and Dale open the window and wave at him before dropping trou and showing their asses, angering Hank into driving off.
- Bonus points for Dale having to lift the shin deprived Cotton up so Hank can see his ass.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: Dale makes a fake drivers' license for Cotton, which looks pretty good in the front, but in the back, it's shown to be made from a Cheerios box.
- Pet the Dog: Cotton agrees to be a chaperone for the museum field trip and even entertains the kids with his war stories.
- Professional Butt-Kisser: Dale was this to Cotton and he greatly appreciated it and wanted Hank to do the same.
- Razor Floss: Cotton mentions he's killed Nazis with dental floss in WWII and tries to do the same do with Dale after he blabs to the cops.
- Ripped from the Headlines: The story of Santa Anna's leg going from museum to museum before it's finally brought back to Mexico where it truly belongs. This was based on the real story of Santa Anna's leg, which is at Illinois State Military Museum in Springfield. The Stinger explains the story behind it and has a Public Service Announcement (from Mike Judge himself, no less) encouraging viewers to write to senator Richard J. Durbin to return the leg to Mexico. However, as for right now, the leg still remains in Illinois.
- Take a Third Option: After being taken away by cops to the Veterans Administration Hospital, Cotton either has to stay at the hospital or live with Hank, where he has to be kept under close supervision. With either situation not being ideal, Hank arranges Didi to come by and the two reconcile so he ends up staying with her.
- Toilet Seat Divorce: Cotton ends the relationship with Didi because she had the gall to refuse to knit him a blanket because she had to work, instead telling him to wear socks. Though they get back together in the end.
- Verbal Backspace: After Didi dumps over the jar of tongue depressors a second time to win him back, Cotton then says her rear is too big, but after she shoots him a scowl, he tells her he likes her for who she is.
