King of the Hill was a long runningFox cartoon that aired from January 12, 1997, to May 6, 2010. It was the second-longest running animated sitcom on FOX, next to The Simpsons. Coincidentally, Greg Daniels (a former Simpsons writer) was an executive producer for this show.
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"Pilot": Straitlaced propane salesman and Texan family man, Hank Hill, is accused of beating his son, Bobby, after Bobby gets a black eye from a baseball during a Little League game and rumors spread that Hank beat up a teenaged Megalo-Mart employee (when really he just yelled at him for being an idiot). Meanwhile, Hank's friends, cuckolded conspiracy nut Dale Gribble, down-and-out Army barber Bill Dauterive, and fast-talking womanizer Jeff Boomhauer, try to fix Hank's truck, while Luanne Platter (Hank's niece) moves in with the Hills after her trailer trash parents get sent to jail over a domestic disturbance.
"Square Peg": Peggy is mortified and tongue-tied when she finds out she has been chosen to teach the middle school's sexual education class, and Hank does everything he can to keep Bobby from learning about the birds and the bees.
"Order of the Straight Arrow": Hank, Bill, Dale, and Boomhauer take Bobby and his friends out camping, but their plans on playing the "snipe hunt" prank go awry when Bobby kills a whooping crane and a camp full of hippies rat them out to the park ranger. Meanwhile, Peggy sneaks out to buy special shoes for her large feet.
"Hank's Got the Willies": Hank fears Bobby has no normal role models in his life, and gets mad at him for accidentally hitting Willie Nelson (voiced by Willie Nelson himself) on the head with a golf club.
"Luanne's Saga": After a break-up with her ne'er-do-well boyfriend, Buckley, Hank solves Luanne days'-long crying jag by telling her to repress her emotions, but Peggy suggests that Luanne get a new boyfriend.
"Hank's Unmentionable Problem": Hank's constipation becomes a cause for concern for everyone in the neighborhood thanks to Peggy.
"Westie Side Story": When a new Laotian family moves in next door, problems ensue when the new neighbor's family dog goes missing and the Hills fear that the stereotype about Asians eating dogs is true.
"Shins of the Father": Hank's brash, sexist father, Cotton Hill, crashes Bobby's 12th birthday party — and stays over the Hills' house, which does not sit well with Peggy when Cotton's misogyny begins rubbing off on Bobby.
"Peggy the Boggle Champ": Hank abandons his plans to go to a lawn mower convention in order to support his wife, who is a contestant in a Boggle tournament. Meanwhile, Luanne and Bobby try to get rid of a condensation ring on the new coffee table.
"Keeping Up with Our Joneses": When Hank catches Bobby smoking in a gas station bathroom, he punishes him by making Bobby smoke an entire carton — which re-ignites a tobacco addiction Hank and Peggy once had before Bobby was born.
"King of the Ant Hill": When Hank tells Dale not to exterminate on his lawn anymore, Hank finds that his new lawn is infested with fire ants.
"Plastic White Female": Worried over having his first kiss at a coed party, Bobby borrows Luanne's beauty school dummy head to practice his kissing technique, which freaks out Peggy.
"How To Fire A Rifle Without Really Trying": While teaching Bobby how to fire a rifle, Hank begins reliving traumatic memories of his father teaching him how to shoot.
"Texas City Twister": Hank fixes up the trailer Luanne grew up in (and moved out of, after her parents were sent to jail on domestic abuse charges), but Peggy sees this as a cruel way of getting rid of Luanne and leaves Hank — just as a tornado is headed for Arlen.
"The Arrowhead": A snooty university professor and his archaeology class trick Peggy into giving them permission to dig up the Hills' yard for artifacts and Hank becomes jealous over Peggy spending more time with the professor trhan with him.
"Hilloween": Hank tries to show Bobby how to have the kind of Halloween he had as a child, but an Evangelical Christian woman named Junie Harper (voiced by Sally Field) is bent on banning Halloween because of its pagan origins.
"Jumpin' Crack Bass": Hank may face jail time after learning that the "fishing bait" he's buying off the street is crack cocaine...unless Hank can prove that crack cocaine makes an effective fish bait.
"Husky Bobby": Hank tries to stop his son Bobby from being humiliated after Bobby is chosen to be a model for husky boy clothes.
"The Man Who Shot Cane Skretteberg": The 1990s pop-punk band Green Day guest star as garage band punks who try to beat Hank, Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer on the paintballing field.
"The Son That Got Away": Joseph, Bobby, and Connie run away from home after getting in trouble at school for disrupting choir class and end up in a cave, which is known in Arlen as a notorious make-out spot.
"The Company Man": Hank must cater to the whims of a Northern businessman who's obsessed with the "cowboy" lifestyle (on the season DVDs, this episode is on the complete season one set, as it has a season one production code)
"Bobby Slam": Peggy worries that Bobby will be branded a girl-beater when he has to face Connie in the wrestling ring at school in order to make the team.
"The Unbearable Blindness of Laying": In this, the first Christmas Episode, Hank goes hysterically blind after catching his elderly mom and her new Jewish boyfriend having sex on the kitchen table.
"Meet the Manger Babies": Luanne creates a religious puppet show — and the first live broadcast on Arlen public access interferes with the Super Bowl.
"Snow Job": Hank's world is shattered when he house-sits for his boss, Buck Strickland, and finds that Buck doesn't use a gas stove nor does he care about propane the way Hank does.
"I Remember Mono": Peggy gets mad at Hank after discovering that Hank was out of school for two weeks in high school from mononucleosis instead of a bad back.
"Three Days of the Kahndo": The Hills and the Souphanoosiphones are headed to Mexico — and Kahn's misreading of an advertisement for a Mexican time share results in him, Hank, and Dale getting trapped in the country.
"Traffic Jam": Hank is sentenced to traffic school, taught by a raunchy black comedian (guest voiced by Chris Rock) after a fender-bender with Kahn.
"Hank's Dirty Laundry": Hank's good credit gets stained when a video clerk accuses him of not returning a porno movie. Can Hank clear his credit without being branded a pervert?
"The Final Shinsult": After losing his driver's license, Cotton moves in with Dale and plots to steal Antonio López de Santa Anna's wooden leg from a museum to use as a bargaining chip with the DMV.
"Leanne's Saga": Luanne's alcoholic mother is released from prison and starts dating and abusing Bill.
"Junkie Business": Hank chooses a drug addict (who uses a legal trick that frees him from responsibility on the job and from being fired) over a qualified woman (whom Peggy fears is sexually attracted to Hank) to work at Strickland Propane.
"Life in the Fast Lane" (a.k.a "Bobby's Saga"): Boomhauer is chosen to race in a NASCAR race while Bobby gets his first job as a concession vendor at the track and becomes the target of his boss, a mentally retarded sociopath named Jimmy Witchert.
"Peggy's Turtle Song": Bobby is misdiagnosed with attention-deficit disorder after eating too much sugary cereal and acting hyper during class, prompting Peggy to quit her job as a substitute teacher and spend more time as a stay-at-home mom.
"Propane Boom" (part one): Hank is forced to work at the Megalo-Mart after Megalo-Mart's new shipment of propane drives Strickland Propane out of business.
"Death of a Propane Salesman" (part two): Following the Megalo-Mart explosion from last season, Hank begins having flashbacks of the explosion whenever he's around propane, Luanne loses her hair and her boyfriend, Buckley, and Bobby ponders over the frailty of life.
"And They Call It Bobby Love": Bobby learns that Love Hurts when he falls for a 14-year-old girl who only likes him as a friend. Meanwhile, Hank and his buddies find a couch in the alley and make it their own.
"Peggy's Headache": Peggy begins having stress headaches and calls upon John Redcorn to heal her — and soon discovers that Dale's wife, Nancy, had an affair with him and that John is Joseph's biological father.
"Pregnant Paws": While Hank is busy trying to breed Ladybird (which makes Peggy jealous, as she secretly wants to have another baby), Dale decides to add a little excitement to his life by enrolling in a four-hour bounty hunter training course.
"Next of Shin": After Hank learns his sperm count is low and that he and Peggy are incapable of having children, his mood worsens when his father shows up boasting that his new wife Didi is pregnant.
"Peggy's Pageant Fever": Peggy competes in a beauty contest in order to win a new truck, but finds that the world of primping and perming isn't for her.
"Nine Pretty Darn Angry Men": While shopping at the mall on the Friday after Thanksgiving, Hank, Dale, Bill, Kahn, and Boomhauer are invited to be part of a focus group for a new mower (with Cotton as an uninvited guest), Luanne goes ice skating to forget about Buckley, and Peggy falls asleep at a shoe repair shop after tearing her loafer.
"Good Hill Hunting": Hank takes Bobby hunting in order to initiate him into the mysteries of manhood, but his plans go to pot when a government clerk tells Hank that Bobby's too old to get a hunting license.
"Pretty, Pretty Dresses": A dark Christmas Episode where Bill is Driven to Suicide over the anniversary of his wife leaving him — and deludes himself into thinking he is his estranged wife after Hank calls Bill out on being a burden.
"A Fire-Fighting We Will Go": In this Rashomon-meets-The Three Stooges-style farce, Hank, Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer tell their own versions of their day as volunteer firefighters after getting arrested for burning the firehouse to the ground. Meanwhile, Peggy pulls a groin muscle and Bobby helps her recover.
"To Spank With Love": Peggy gains a reputation for being a cruel teacher after spanking Dooley for pants-ing her.
"Three Coaches and a Bobby": Hank brings back his psychotic high school football coach to help Bobby's football team win — but Bobby would rather play a different kind of football (what Americans refer to as "soccer") with a politically-correct coach voiced by Saturday Night Live alumnus Will Ferrell.
"De-Kahnstructing Hank": Kahn is fired from his job after telling Hank the company's top-secret plans.
"The Wedding of Bobby Hill": Bobby and Luanne's prank war goes too far when Bobby takes Luanne's birth control pills and Hank tells Bobby that he has to marry his cousin in order to make her unborn baby legitimate.
"Sleight of Hank": Peggy's involvement in a magic show irks Hank when he asks Peg how the trick was done and Peggy won't tell him.
"Jon Vitti Presents: 'Return to La Grunta'": Luanne and Hank both face sexual harassment at a hotel resort: Luanne keeps getting groped by lecherous golfers (one of which is voiced by modern-day voice acting virtuoso Billy West) during her job as a drink girl while Hank is molested by a horny dolphin (which does happen in real life) and is paid off with hotel merchandise to keep from reporting the incident.
"Escape From Party Island": Hank must get his mom and her elderly friends out of Port Aransas during a raucous spring break.
"Love Hurts and So Does Art": Bobby gets gout from eating chicken liver at a New York deli and uses his injury to get out of going to the school dance with Connie. Meanwhile, Hank's colon X-rays from "Hank's Unmentionable Problem" are used as art.
"Hank's Cowboy Movie": Hurt by Bobby's negative views of his hometown, Hank tries to get the Dallas Cowboys to move their training camp from Wichita Falls to Arlen. However, his promotion video for Arlen is ruined by his wife's and his friends' incompetence.
"Dog Dale Afternoon": Hank steals Dale's new riding mower after getting sick of Dale's bragging over it.
"Revenge of the Lutefisk": Bobby nearly burns down the church after getting sick on lutefisk and trying to strike a match in the bathroom to cover the smell, but Cotton gets blamed for it due to his sexist attitude towards the church accepting a female pastor (voiced by Mary Tyler Moore).
"Death and Texas": Peggy visits a convict whom she believes is a long-lost student whose life went downhill, but is really a con man who needs a drug mule for his cocaine addiction. Meanwhile, Dale tries to get a job as an executioner at the local penitentiary.
"Wings of the Dope": In this tear-jerking episode, Luanne is visited by the spirit of her dead boyfriend, Buckley, who wants her to ditch beauty school and do something better with her life.
"Take Me Out of the Ballgame": Hank is picked to coach the company's softball team, spurring friction between Peggy and Hank.
"As Old As The Hills": Fearing that they may be getting too old to be "cool", Hank and Peggy spend their anniversary sky-diving, which comes to an abrupt end when Peggy's parachute malfunctions and she crashes onto a field. Meanwhile, Bobby struggles with taking his pregnant step-grandmother Didi to the hospital when her water breaks.
"Peggy Hill: The Decline and Fall": Peggy struggles to regain her strength following her skydiving accident. Meanwhile, Bobby delivers Cotton's son (whom Cotton names "Good Hank") but gets overwhelmed when neither Cotton nor Didi want to be parents.
"Cotton's Plot": Cotton takes over Peggy's physical therapy in exchange for help getting a burial plot in the Texas State Cemetery, but Peggy discovers a discrepancy about Cotton's service in the Army during World War II.
"Bills Are Made to Be Broken": Bill's high school football record is broken unfairly, and (largely at Hank's insistence) he tries to get back on the field to set things right.
"Little Horrors of Shop": Hank becomes a shop substitute teacher, and Peggy sabotages Hank by reporting him for encouraging kids to bring weapons (actually power tools) to school.
"Aisle 8A" Connie stays over the Hill's house — and Hank must help her out when she has her period and needs to get sanitary pads from Megalo-Mart's infamous Aisle 8A.
"A Beer Can Named Desire": Hank wins an Alamo Beer contest for a chance to win a million dollars by throwing a football through a one-foot hole in a giant Alamo Beer can, while Bill visits his eccentric Cajun relatives in Louisiana (three of which are voiced by members of The Dixie Chicks).
"Happy Hanks-Giving": The Hills are stranded at the airport while trying to fly out to Montana for Thanksgiving.
"Not in My Backhoe": Drew Carey guest stars as Hank's suspiciously similar new best friend. Meanwhile, Bill and Dale steal Hank's backhoe and take it to a pet cemetery, with disastrous results.
"To Kill a Ladybird": Dale and Ladybird may have contracted rabies from a raccoon Bobby wanted to keep as a new pet.
"Old Glory": Peggy writes a school essay for Bobby, and they both catch fire for it by a vengeful English teacher who accuses them of plagiarism. Meanwhile, Hank and his friends try to get rid of an oversized American flag.
"Rodeo Days": Bobby becomes a rodeo clown, much to Hank's horror and embarrassment.
"Hanky Panky": Part one of two. Hank is seduced by Buck Strickland's ex-wife Miz Liz and Buck's mistress Debbie Grund, the latter of whom is found dead in a Dumpster outside of Sugar Foot's Barbecue.
"High Anxiety": Conclusion. Peggy takes over Sugar Foot's Barbecue restaurant, while Hank accidentally smokes marijuana and becomes a suspect in Debbie Grund's murder.
"Naked Ambition": Bobby freaks out when he walks in on Luanne showering during a day camp trip. Meanwhile, Boomhauer is committed to a mental hospital in Houston after floating down a river there and trying to ask for help with no one able to understand his motor-mouth speech.
"Movin' On Up": Luanne moves into the house next door (which used to belong to one of Cotton's old war buddies who recently died), and must deal with her freeloading roommates.
"Bill of Sales": Peggy reluctantly recruits Bill into a pyramid scheme and is pleasantly surprised by his superb sales abilities, but she's surprised when her for-once sincere praise for him turns him into a nervous wreck.
"Won't You Pimai Neighbor?": Buddhist monks believe that Bobby is a reincarnated Lama, but Hank and Peggy aren't exactly open-minded when it comes to different religions and think the whole thing is weird.
"Hank's Bad Hair Day": Hank gets a haircut from Bill's barber shop on his Army base (after Hank's usual barber quits), and puts Bill out of the job after lodging a complaint to the government about a $900 bill.
"Meet the Propaniacs": While working at Strickland Propane with Hank instead of going to acting camp for the summer, Bobby starts a sketch comedy troupe centered on propane-based humor, but ends up offending a high-ranking propane official with a sketch featuring Joe Jack wearing a diaper.
"Nancy's Boys": Nancy breaks off her adulterous affair with John Redcorn after going on a date with Dale and falling in love with him all over again.
"Flush With Power": Hank joins the city council in order to fight back against the installation of low-flow toilets during a drought. Meanwhile, Bobby blackmails Kahn into letting him take baths at his house.
"Transnational Amusements Presents: Peggy's Magic Sex Feet": After admitting her real shoe size during a night of bowling (and finding out from a shoe salesman that she's actually a size 16-and-a-half and will hit a size 20 in a few years), Peggy feels ashamed of her big feet — until a "foot doctor" makes Peggy an Internet star on a foot fetish website.
"Peggy's Fan Fair": While attending a Nashville music festival with Hank and the guys, Peggy claims that Randy Travis stole lyrics from a song she wrote years ago.
"The Perils of Polling": Hank has doubts about voting for George W. Bush after finding that Bush's handshake is weak. Meanwhile, Luanne falls for a Communist party leader.
"The Buck Stops Here": Bobby gets a summer job as Buck Strickland's caddy, who takes him along for the ride on a gambling junket.
"I Don't Want to Wait for Our Lives to Be Over...": Bobby feels left out when Joseph hits puberty. Meanwhile, Hank makes caskets for himself and Peggy.
"Spin the Choice": Peggy comes up with a new game for Thanksgiving while Bobby boycotts the holiday after John Redcorn tells him that Thanksgiving celebrates when the white man killed the Native Americans.
"Peggy Makes the Big Leagues": Peggy substitute-teaches at Arlen High School, but arouses the enmity of nearly all (including Hank and her fellow teachers) when she gives the school's unacademic football star (guest voiced by Brendan Fraser) a failing grade.
"When Cotton Comes Marching Home": Cotton wants to march in the Veterans' Day Parade, but can't, now that he has a degrading job as a bathroom attendant.
"What Makes Bobby Run?": Bobby is branded a coward after breaking the tradition of the Landry Longhorn, which calls for any student dressed up like the Landry Longhorn to be beaten senseless by the rival team.
"Twas The Nut Before Christmas": Bill makes his front yard a Christmas village for the kids — but his plan to keep the decorations up after the holiday season makes everyone uneasy and makes Bill the target to a 20-something slacker who's taking advantage of him and corrupting Bobby by making him drink beer.
"Chasing Bobby": Peggy mistakes a tear in Hank's eye during a dramatic movie for the realization that he doesn't spend enough time with Bobby, but the tears have more to do with Hank's truck being on its last tires.
"Yankee Hankee": Hank suffers an identity crisis when it's revealed that he was actually born in a woman's bathroom at Yankee Stadium in New York City.
"Hank and the Great Glass Elevator": On a day trip to Austin, Hank moons the former Governor of Texas, Ann Richards (guest starring as herself), leading Bill to take the blame and eventually enter a relationship with her. Meanwhile, Peggy and Bobby try hamburgers grilled on a charcoal grill and break Hank's heart when they discover that burgers on a charcoal grill taste better than burgers on a propane grill.
"Now Who's The Dummy?": Bobby acquires a ventriloquist's dummy named Chip Block, which dredges up childhood anxieties for Dale.
"Ho Yeah!": A former prostitute from Oklahoma City (voiced by Renee Zellweger) takes a job at Strickland Propane and stays with the Hills, who don't know of her sleazy past until her pimp (voiced by Snoop Dogg) comes to Arlen and mistakes Hank for a rival pimp out to take his bottom bitch.
"The Exterminator": Dale goes from killing bugs to killing careers after being forced to take an office job when a doctor tells Dale that being exposed to insecticide will kill him before he turns 50.
"Luanne, Virgin 2.0": Owen Wilson guest stars as a sexually insecure man who begins dating Luanne (who becomes part of a born-again virgin church program after her latest break-up) and the two decide to marry so they can have sex without the church judging them. Meanwhile, Peggy confesses to Hank that she was not a virgin when they first had sex.
"Hank's Choice": Hank must choose between his son and his dog when Bobby becomes so allergic to the dog that he has to live in the backyard.
"It's Not Easy Being Green": When the local quarry is going to be drained for a landfill, Hank must pretend he is interested in environmental issues to keep Boomhauer from finding out that his missing car is in that quarry.
"The Trouble with Gribbles": Nancy loses her job to Luanne, and plans to get a facelift to look younger — which Dale pays for by suing his favorite cigarette company.
"Hank's Back Story": Hank finds out his back problems are caused by "diminished gluteal syndrome" (a condition that has worn down Hank's hindquarters and put pressure on his spine), and attempts to come to terms with wearing a prosthetic posterior while preparing to compete in a lawn-mower race.
"Kidney Boy and Hamster Girl: A Love Story": Bobby pretends to be a high school student with a kidney disorder that stunted his growth, and helps the student body win a radio station contest, where the winner gets to have ska band No Doubt perform at the prom. Meanwhile, Hank and his friends get a Port-A-Potty for the alley after Bill has a Potty Emergency.
"Bobby Goes Nuts": Bobby learns the art of the Groin Attack — and uses it against Hank, who wants Bobby to learn how to fight like a man.
"Soldier of Misfortune: Dale is running for re-election as the Arlen Gun Club president, but his chances seem to be shot when he accidentally discharges his gun and injures one of the members.
"Lupe's Revenge": Peggy's Spanish language comprehension goes to mierdanote "shit" in Spanish during a trip to Mexico, where she mistakes a native girl for one of the students and gets busted for kidnapping. Meanwhile, a lusty female cop hits on Hank.
"The Father, The Son, and the J.C.": While building homes for "Habitat for Humanity," Hank is so overwhelmed when Buck promotes him that he declares his love for his boss, which doesn't sit well with Hank's father, Cotton.
"Father of the Bribe": Connie and Bobby pretend to break up so they can get money from Kahn, but the couple are pushed back together (then pushed apart) when a teacher mistakes a sarcastic comment written by Connie for a suicide note. Meanwhile, Dale hosts a pirate radio show.
"I'm With Cupid": Bobby takes his break-up with Connie hard after Bill tells Bobby that he ruined his one chance at love, and, after a deep depression, Bobby gets advice from Boomhauer on how to win over girls.
"Torch Song Hillogy": Peggy nominates Bobby to carry the 2002 Winter Olympic Torch through Arlen, but Hank wins the honor — and bungles it.
"Joust Like a Woman": Alan Rickman (Severus Snape himself) guest stars as a sexist Bad Boss who refuses to give his female workers equal pay and benefits — and Peggy the cleaning wench is the only one who can stop it.
"The Bluegrass Is Always Greener": Connie joins Hank's bluegrass band to spite her father, but Connie soon learns that Hank is a tougher father than Kahn.
"The Substitute Spanish Prisoner": Peggy fights back against a scam artist (voiced by Jeff Goldblum) who tricked her into buying a diploma program from him.
"Unfortunate Son": Hank's father does battle with Vietnam War veterans when they get included into the VFW.
"Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret Hill": Peggy (who is married and Methodist) poses as a nun in order to get a full-time teaching job at a Catholic high school, and worries that her subterfuge is a one-way ticket to eternal damnation.
"Tankin' It To The Streets": After Bill finds out the Army subjected him to a secret medical experiment called "Operation Infinite Walrus" that left him fat and balding, he gets drunk and steals a tank, leaving his friends to try to save him from destroying the town and a possible life sentence in jail. Meanwhile, Peggy and Bobby try to win free ice cream at the Megalo-Mart by beating the "Guess Your Sundae's Weight" challenge.
"A Man Without a Country Club": Kahn loses his chance at joining an Asian-only country club, and Hank is let in because the club needs a Token White man so the PGA can host there.
"Beer and Loathing": Peggy lands a job as a customer service caller at Alamo Beer, which is a dream come true for Hank — until the new batch of beer makes everyone sick and Peggy refuses to tell Hank why due to a confidentiality agreement.
"Fun with Jane and Jane": Luanne and Peggy join a cult disguised as a college sorority. Meanwhile, Hank tries to get rid of Buck Strickland's emus.
"My Own Private Rodeo": Dale and Nancy renew their wedding vows, and Dale's father (who is a closeted gay man whom Dale has despised for trying to seduce Nancy) comes along to finally tell his son that he's a homosexual.
"Sug Night": Hank thinks his dreams of him and Nancy grilling naked are erotic dreams.
"Dang Ol' Love": Boomhauer finds himself as the one rejected after spending the night with a woman who doesn't want him as anything more than a sex toy.
"Returning Japanese" (1): The Hills are going to Japan where Cotton reunites with the Japanese woman he slept with during the war and Hank discovers that he has a half-brother named Junichiro.
"Returning Japanese" (2): When Cotton's Japanese son, Junichiro, renounces his Hill ancestry, Cotton declares his own personal war on Japan by deciding to spit in the Japanese emperor's face.
"Get Your Freak Off": Hank worries that the music and media Bobby consumes is too sexually charged for a boy his age, so he does whatever he can to make Bobby's childhood more wholesome. Meanwhile, the wives (Nancy, Minh, and Peggy) discuss which man is more handsome: Dale, Bill, Hank, Boomhauer, or John Redcorn.
"The Fat and the Furious": Bill gets into competitive eating after downing a plate of hot dogs in no time flat, but Dale sees Bill's new hobby as disgusting and degrading.
"Bad Girls, Bad Girls, Whatcha Gonna Do?": Connie's criminal cousin, Tid Pau (voiced by Lucy Liu), becomes Bobby's science project partner and makes him an unwitting accomplice in creating a drug lab.
"Goodbye, Normal Jeans": Peggy becomes jealous of Bobby when he uses his home ec. class cooking skills in the Hill kitchen.
"Dances With Dogs": Bobby and Hank use Ladybird to compete in a dog dancing contest. Meanwhile, Bill is tricked into buying an ill-tempered Rottweiler from an animal shelter.
"The Son Also Roses": Bobby becomes a rose grower when he tires of doing the Landry football team's laundry and recruits the help of two cannabis cultivators to help him win a contest.
"The Texas Skilsaw Massacre": The Hills are forced to live with the Gribbles after Dale digs a tunnel underneath the Hills' kitchen, and the inspector declares the Hill house uninhabitable until the necessary repairs are done. Things get worse when Hank is sentenced to take anger management classes after accidentally cutting one of Dale's fingers off with a circular saw.
"Full Metal Dust Jacket": Peggy takes over the lease of a bookstore, but when the bookstore's business plummets, she allows Dale and his gun group to sell firearms at the store.
"Pigmalion": In this nightmarish episode (which originally was scheduled for season five, but was pulled due to violent content), Luanne dates a pork company magnate (voiced by Michael Keaton) who wants to model her after the woman on his logo.
"Megalo Dale": A string of strange events leads to claims that the Megalo Mart is infested and Dale is hired to exterminate the pest — which turns out to be spokesman Chuck Mangione.
"Boxing Luanne": To prove to men that she is more than just a pretty face and a sexy body, Luanne becomes a boxer, but soon learns that the boxing she's doing is foxy boxing, and that every fight she won had been fixed.
"Vision Quest": Dale takes Joseph on a vision quest, but it's Dale who begins seeing things and believing that he is a Native American.
"Queasy Rider": Hank and Peggy try to fix their strained marriage by buying a motorcycle and immersing themselves in the biker lifestyle, which is notoriously misogynistic.
"Board Games": Peggy, Nancy, and Minh run for school board against each other after Tom Landry Middle School cuts all after-school programs out of the budget.
"An Officer and a Gentle Boy": Bobby is sent to military school after acting irreverant around his father, but Cotton is appalled that the military school Bobby is in isn't as hardcore as it was when Cotton was younger.
"The Miseducation of Bobby Hill": Bobby uses unethical tactics (as taught to him by Joe Jack) to sell grills at Strickland Propane.
"The Good Buck": Buck Strickland turns to the Lord after his wife leaves him (again) and Luanne is more than willing to help. Meanwhile, Bobby hides out from his track coach and makes friends with two old ladies at Hotel Arlen's restaurant during tea time.
"I Never Promised You An Organic Garden": Peggy takes over the organic garden at the school, but gets thrown off the project when she uses chemical-based pesticides on the garden.
"Be True To Your Fool": Hank finds an Embarrassing Tattoo after getting his head shaved for lice, which Bill spread to Hank, Dale, and Boomhauer. Meanwhile, Bill makes friends with a bullpen of prisoners at the county jail.
"Racist Dawg": Hank and his dog are mistaken for racists after an African-American repairman (voiced by Bernie Mac) gets bitten by Lady Bird.
"Night and Deity": Nancy thinks Dale may be falling for a young, female exterminator (voiced by Janeane Garofalo).
"Maid in Arlen": Bill finds love with Kahn's mother.
"The Witches of East Arlen": In yet another search to find a hobby that he loves, Bobby joins a coven of post-adolescent geeks who are into tarot cards and witchcraft.
"Patch Boomhauer": Brad Pitt guest stars as Boomhauer's brother, Patch, who makes Boomhauer out to be a womanizer in front of the only woman Boomhauer ever loved.
"Reborn To Be Wild": Bobby joins a religious group that mixes Christianity with rock music, which Hank doesn't like, as he feels it cheapens religion's messages. Meanwhile, Hank's friends (and Kahn) start a club called "The Last Meal Club", where they come up with what meals they would like to eat before they die.
"New Cowboy on the Block": A washed-up former Dallas Cowboys player moves into the neighborhood, and no one, not even Hank, can admit that he is a jerk—until the man starts harassing Hank.
"The Incredible Hank": Hank takes Bobby to the doctor to get him some testosterone supplements to boost his energy, but Hank becomes the one who sorely needs a testosterone boost. Meanwhile, Bobby faces his fear of showering after gym class.
"Flirting With The Master": The actor who plays TV's "Monsignor Martinez" invites Peggy to Mexico City to tutor his children for an English language exam. Meanwhile, Luanne takes on Peggy's duties at home.
"After The Mold Rush": When Hank's house sustains minor water damage days before the Arlen Parade of Homes, a man from the insurance company sets out to get rich by shaking the Hills down for money with needless tests and repairs.
"Livin' on Reds, Vitamin C, and Propane": Hank needs to take some antique furniture to his mother in Arizona, so he rents an 18-wheeler and takes Bobby on a road trip (with Dale, Bill and Boomhauer stowing away). Meanwhile, Peggy and Luanne try to write a Christmas novelty song.
"Rich Hank, Poor Hank": Bobby thinks Hank is secretly a rich miser after hearing Peggy talking about Hank's new $1000 bonus, and Bobby and Joseph steal Hank's emergency credit card to go on a shopping spree.
"Ceci N'est Pas Une King of the Hill": Peggy's propane robot art is recognized by a dealer who thinks she's a mentally-challenged mountain girl. Meanwhile, Dale starts wearing a suit of armor and uses his newfound invincibility to insult people without consequences — until Bill challenges Dale to a fight.
"That's What She Said": A new employee named Rich (voiced by Ben Stiller) becomes popular around Strickland Propane for telling lewd jokes, but Hank feels uncomfortable about them and the lawyer he talks to advises Hank to sue for sexual harassment (since telling raunchy jokes during work hours counts as harassment). Meanwhile, Dale trades smoking cigarettes for chewing tobacco.
"My Hair Lady": Luanne and Bill get jobs at the hippest hair salon in Arlen called "Hottyz," but in order to keep his job, Bill must pretend to be a homosexual.
"Phish and Wildlife": Hank takes Bobby (who needs a lesson in self-reliance) and the guys on a fishing trip, where they vow to eat only what they catch, but the trip is ruined by hippies who would rather sponge off the park's resources, and Bobby inadvertently letting the hippies live off Hank.
"Cheer Factor": Peggy volunteers to help with the school cheerleading squad by having Bobby as a mascot and participating with the cheerleaders, but soon finds herself facing the school board after her "Fighting Irish" show is deemed racist.
"Dale Be Not Proud": Dale donates a kidney to John Force (the head of the National Hot Rod Association), but, before Dale goes under the knife, he forces Hank to make all his outlandish wishes come true.
"Après Hank, le Deluge": A flood warning in Arlen drives everyone into the Tom Landry Middle School Gym, where Hank tries to keep everyone from going nuts — and ends up losing his power to Bill.
"Dale Tech": Dale starts a security company. Meanwhile, Hank's dad is made a deputy police officer, and Hank tries to solve the mystery of who keeps coming in his house while he's at work.
"How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Alamo": Hank tries to teach Bobby about the Alamo after discovering that the new history textbooks in school contain pop history — and things get worse when Hank's plans for an Alamo play include a director who wants to portray the American force as a bunch of drunken, doped-up, slave-owning, prostitute-loving cowards. Meanwhile, Nancy gets a Flat Stanley doll in the mail, and Peggy and Luanne put it through dangerous scenarios to teach kids about safety.
"Girl, You'll Be A Giant Soon": Luanne helps Hank protest against a grilling contest that's banning propane grills, but Hank thinks Luanne is acting immature. Meanwhile, Peggy visits a house that was once a murder scene, but the real estate agent only wants potential buyers.
"Stressed For Success": Bobby is put on the Quiz Team for his knowledge of pop culture, but stresses over the pressure.
"Hank's Back" (a.k.a "The Unbearable Lightness of Being Hank"): Johnny Depp guest stars as a yoga instructor who helps Hank with his back problems — which nearly get Hank in trouble with a workman's comp agent out to prove that Hank is faking his injuries. Meanwhile, Peggy fights to keep the old Pink & White market open by returning to her old job as a bagger.
"The Redneck on Rainey Street": Kahn and Mihn decide to live like rednecks after Connie is turned down for admission to a prestigious summer school.
"Talking Shop": Despite Hank's wishes for Bobby to take auto shop, Bobby takes peer counseling so he can give advice to vulnerable teenage girls. Meanwhile, Hank finds a wrecked car for Bobby to fix, thinking that he signed up for auto shop.
"A Rover Runs Through It": The Hills travel to Montana to visit Peggy's mother, who is planning to sell the ranch to Happy Days's own Henry Winkler (guest starring as himself).
"Mrs. Wakefield": An elderly stranger (voiced by Marion Ross [Mrs. Cunningham from Happy Days, making this the second episode in a row to have a Happy Days cast member]) who used to live in the Hill's house returns so she can die in it, but all of Hank's attempts to throw her out make him look like a villain to his neighbors.
"Death Buys a Timeshare": Cotton inherits $10,000 from the will of his war buddy Topsy, and goes to Mexico, with Bill in tow, to buy a timeshare (even though Americans are not allowed to buy land in Mexico). Meanwhile, Peggy, Bobby and Dale search for an unused swimming pool.
"Yard She Blows": Peggy gets a lawn gnome, which Hank hates, but when Hank breaks it, Bobby ends up getting blamed for it.
"Dale to the Chief": Dale changes his country-hating, right-wing mania into insufferable, flag-waving patriotism after reading over the Warren Commission and discovering that the U.S. is right about who shot John F. Kennedy. Meanwhile, Hank must go through a boatload of red tape in order to fix an embarrassing mistake on his renewed driver's license.
"The Petriot Act": Hank is asked to care for a soldier's pet cat, which proves to be a pain to dog-lover Hank.
"Enrique-cilable Differences": Hank's co-worker Enrique is having marital problems, and starts spending all his time with Hank. Meanwhile, Bobby tries to unblock the FOX network from the family TV.
"Mutual of Omabwah": Hank and Bobby must protect themselves from any accidents until their insurance can be re-activated in 36 hours. Meanwhile, Dale decides to raise bees, Bill and Boomhauer discover the joys of deep-frying, and Peggy and Luanne get stuck at a rest stop when Hank asks them not to drive uninsured.
"Care-Takin' Care of Business": When the Tom Landry Middle School football team has to forfeit a game due to poor field maintenance, the booster club resolves to replace the school's elderly groundskeeper, Smitty, and Hank resolves to help him keep his job by secretly doing upkeep on the field. Meanwhile, Luanne starts dating a redneck named Lucky (first seen in "The Redneck on Rainey Street"), much to Peggy's dismay.
"Arlen City Bomber": To pay off her credit card debts, Luanne signs up to be a roller derby girl. Peggy gets in on it too and uses borrowed money to make improvements on the team, sinking both Luanne and Peggy deeper into debt.
"Redcorn Gambles with His Future": John Redcorn and his band "Big Mountain Fudgecake" are having trouble finding a venue to play their music, so Redcorn uses his land to open a casino.
"Smoking and the Bandit": When Arlen bans smoking in all restaurants and bars, Dale becomes the rebellious "Smoking Bandit" to impress Joseph.
"Gone with the Windstorm": Channel 84 hires a new meteorologist, Irv Bennett, leaving Nancy Gribble out in the cold — and into the fire when she, Dale, and Peggy steal a news van to report on a forest fire. Meanwhile, Hank helps Bobby fight back against a bully who likes to pop out and scare people.
"Bobby on Track": Upset with Bobby's habit of giving up what he starts (after Bobby does not complete the miles needed to run for a charity race), Hank puts Bobby on the school's track team, but soon learns that the coach only wants Bobby as a "Stick" so he can push the other team members to do better.
"It Ain't Over 'til the Fat Neighbor Sings": Bill joins an all-male chorus who end up using Bill and forcing him to blow off his appointment to cut the general's hair at the Army base. Meanwhile, Peggy and Bobby get caught up in a game of Pong.
"Hank's On Board": Hank is the odd man out when his friends don't invite him on vacation, and realize that his friends have always avoided him whenever they go on vacation. Meanwhile, Bobby saves up for a metal detector.
"Bystand Me": When the Arlen Bystander newspaper gets a new editor, Peggy gets a job writing a household hints column. Trouble is, she doesn't know any household hints. Meanwhile, Bobby gets a job as a paper boy.
"Bill's House": Bill turns his house into a rehabilitation center for alcoholics.
"Harlottown": Peggy discovers that Arlen's founding mothers were prostitutes, which embarrasses Hank and prompts the city manager to take advantage of the find by cashing in on the sleaze.
"Portrait of the Artist as a Young Clown": Saturday Night Live's Mike Myers guest stars as a clown college teacher who trains Bobby into acting like a buffoon, but Bobby's act doesn't make anyone laugh.
"Orange You Sad I Did Say Banana?": After being called a "banana" (an Asian who acts too American — "yellow on the outside, white on the inside"), Kahn forces his family to reconnect with their Laotian roots — which puts a damper on Hank's plans to build a pool in Kahn's yard and irritates Connie and Minh, who are happier living the fat, pop-culture-obsessed American life.
"You Gotta Believe (in Moderation)": Hank invites a softball team to compete against his own team of misfits, to raise money to save Tom Landry Middle School's baseball team.
"Business Is Picking Up": Hank tries to stop Bobby from wanting a career in picking up human and animal waste after Bobby shadows a successful local businessman (voiced by Jackass's own Johnny Knoxville) who's made a name for himself doing the same.
"The Year of Washing Dangerously": Kahn buys the local car wash as part of a plan to get rich, and Hank finds himself working for his disrespectful, money-obsessed neighbor when Buck takes a stake in the business as well.
"Hank Fixes Everything": Buck Strickland hires the Teutuls from the reality show American Chopper to perform at Strickland Propane's expo in order to win a price war with Thatherton Fuels, then gets into a price fixing conspiracy with the other propane companies in Arlen which attracts the government's attention — centered on Hank.
"Church Hopping": The Hills leave their staid Methodist church in favor of a megachurch after a different family sits in their favorite pew.
"24 Hour Propane People": Buck Strickland tries to make his workplace a fun place to be after getting banned from Jugstore Cowboys and spending his days at a Coldstone Creamery-esque ice cream parlor.
"The Texas Panhandler": Instead of getting a real job, Bobby (who has become disenchanted with gainful employment) and Joseph discover that they can make more money, and look cooler, by hanging out on street corners and begging for money.
"Hank's Bully": Hank gets bullied by a boy named Caleb, but when he tells his parents this, they don't see the problem. Meanwhile, Dale and Peggy enter a taxidermy competition.
"Edu-macating Lucky": Lucky asks Peggy to help him get his GED in the hopes of improving his chances of marrying Luanne, but Peggy is more concerned about keeping Lucky away from her niece.
"The Peggy Horror Picture Show": While at a store for large-footed women, Peggy befriends a big, brash woman...who turns out to be a man in drag who thinks Peggy is one too.
"serPUNt": Bobby's new pet python gets stuck in the toilet and Animal Control hypes the situation into a crisis.
"Blood and Sauce": Bill's barbecue sauce becomes a hit with the neighborhood and Buck Strickland wants to buy the recipe and market it, but Bill's last living relative, the effeminate, Tennessee Williams-esque dandy Gilbert (pronounced "Jeel-BEAR")note last seen on "A Beer Can Named Desire", wants Bill to help him with his poetry book instead.
"Luanne Gets Lucky": Luanne goes to the prom she never went to (because of her Abusive Parents) with a 15-year-old while Lucky tries to get a walnut tree stump out of the ground.
"Hank Gets Dusted": Hank is devastated when Cotton's Cadillac is given to Hank's cousin Dusty (voice of Dusty Hill from the rock band ZZ Top), and things get worse when Dusty begins harassing Hank as part of a hidden-camera prank show a laPunk'd.
"Glen Peggy Glen Ross": Peggy gets fired from the Arlen Bystander, and decides to go into real estate. Meanwhile, Hank gets a set of golf clubs that were used as a murder weapon.
"The Passion of Dauterive": Bill begins dating the church's female pastor after his roof collapses and he realizes that he could have died had he not moved out the way in time.
"Grand Theft Arlen": Hank protests against a new school program that lets failing gym students play video games —- and becomes addicted to Pro-Pain, a Grand Theft Auto knockoff centered on propane and featuring Hank as the protagonist. Meanwhile, Bobby trains for the Presidential Physical Fitness Test.
"Peggy's Gone to Pots": Peggy tries to reach the pinnacle of real estate success by selling houses in the exclusive neighborhood of Arlen Heights, but she winds up selling kitchen supplies for a scam company. Meanwhile, Dale comes face-to-face with Rusty Shackleford, the man whose identity he often uses (even though a previous episode claimed that Rusty Shackleford was the name of a man who died).
"Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow": Nancy begins losing her hair, and her visiting mother reveals that it's from stress over her unresolved feelings for John Redcorn. Meanwhile, Dale takes a ride with Kahn's delinquent nephew in a souped-up racecar during the vernal equinox and thinks he has traveled through time.
"Bill, Bulk, and the Body Buddies": Bill meets a body builder named Dirk who agrees to help him train for an upcoming Army physical, but when Bill starts working out with Dirk and his two meathead buddies, Bill develops a bad attitude and alienates his former friends.
"Suite Smell of Excess": When the guys take Bobby to a University of Texas football game their hijinks land them in a VIP box suite, where Hank is mistaken for a former player of the opposing Nebraska Cornhuskers, and is asked to call a crucial play for the team. Meanwhile, Peggy shops for a new TV after breaking the old one.
"Bobby Rae": Bobby feigns interest in activism when he goes after the heart of a real student activist, who protests the installation of soda machines in the school (and the funds from said soda machines being used to pay for the teachers' vacation).
"The Powder Puff Boys": Hank encourages Bobby to be a part of the school's Powder Puff team (a team where boys dress in drag and impersonate female cheerleaders). However, the boys learn that Peggy and the PTA are trying to put a stop to the tradition, as they feel it's sexist.
"Four Wave Intersection": Hank takes the kids to a water park, where they have to tangle with a group of surfer bullies to enjoy the "Endless Wave." Meanwhile, Boomhauer tries to regain his coolness after his decision to wear cut-off jeans while washing his car gets him laughed at by two sexy ladies, and Bill becomes famous for waving to passengers on the side of the road.
"Death Picks Cotton": Cotton has a flashback during a night out at a Benihana-style teppanyaki steakhouse, and ends up on his deathbed, but Peggy soon finds out that Cotton just won't stay dead.
"Raise the Steaks": Hank gets into organic foods after eating a grass-fed steak and juicy, organic vegetables and becomes a food co-op volunteer.
"Tears of an Inflatable Clown": Bobby convinces the student council to put on a carnival, but a dour "diversity expert" comes in and tricks Bobby and the other kids into planning an assembly about hate crimes and atrocities committed due to racism. Meanwhile, Lucky injures his hand and avoids Hank, Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer, who want him to go to the hospital.
"The Minh Who Knew Too Much": Minh joins the Arlen Gun Club to learn skeet shooting. Meanwhile, Hank tries to solve the mystery of who's been discarding trash in his trash cans.
"Dream Weaver": Nancy wants Dale to get a new job since he is not making any money, so he and Hank go on a "vocation vacation" to learn basket weaving. Meanwhile Peggy, Kahn and Bill create a viral video.
"Doggone Crazy": The Hill's dog, Ladybird, goes on a rampage, breaking things all over the house and later biting Hank's hand. After Ladybird is put on a list of vicious dogs, the veterinarian suggests that Hank takes her to a dog spiritualist or she be put down.
"Trans-Fascism": When Arlen bans food containing trans fats (which means the end of Sugar Foot's barbecue restaurant), Hank and Buck Strickland create a food truck business to evade the law.
"Three Men and a Bastard" (a.k.a "The Untitled Blake McCormick Project"): Bill becomes involved with a single mother, Charlene, who once had an affair with John Redcorn, and, like Nancy Gribble, has a half-Native American child who, like Joseph Gribble, is oblivious to her biological father's identity.
"The Accidental Terrorist": Hank discovers that his car salesman has been screwing him over by making him buy more than the sticker price — and gets tangled in a botched plan cooked up by two college-aged activists.
"Ladies and Gentrification": Peggy helps some white hipsters find a new place to live — and ends up ruining Enrique's neighborhood when the hipsters decide to settle in. Meanwhile, Hank is chosen to speak at Enrique's daughter's quinceañeranote a special ceremony for Hispanic girls, celebrating their crossing over to womanhood, which, in Hispanic culture, starts at 15 years old.
"Behind Closed Doors": Tom Landry Middle School holds an emergency community meeting when a child (Dooley) goes missing in Arlen, and a relationship expert Stephens Davies makes an example of Peggy by questioning her parenting skills, prompting Peggy to become stricter in her parenting.
"Pour Some Sugar on Kahn": Kahn becomes a karaoke bar star to show up his father-in-law.
"Six Characters in Search of a House": Peggy brings in a "Hollywood" family to sell a house currently occupied by the strangest family in Arlen.
"The Courtship of Joseph's Father": A wealthy prep school offers Joseph to play for their school instead of Tom Landry Middle School.
"Strangeness on a Train": Hank throws Peggy a 1970s-style murder mystery party on a train, but when Dale ruins the surprise, thanks to Luanne's discovery of what her role is, a new mystery crops up — after Hank and Peg have sex in the train bathroom.
"Cops and Robert": Hank accidentally steals another man's wallet (thinking that the man pickpocketed him), and the man begins exacting his revenge. Meanwhile, Bobby is forced to to spend the day with the school security guard after being framed for throwing a soda can at him, and Dale attempts to get hired at a Hooters-esque restaurant called "Bazooms" by citing sexual discrimination if he is turned down.
"It Came from the Garage": Hank and Bobby get in some father/son bonding time when Hank dumps the old team of Dale, Bill and Boomhauer to help Bobby in a boat-building competition, but Hank's fear of bats forces Bobby to go at it alone.
"Life: A Loser's Manual": Luanne's father returns to Arlen to stay with the family, and Peggy reveals to Hank that Hoyt is a convict who lied about his time working on an oil rig.
"Dia-BILL-ic Shock": A JerkAss doctor scares Bill into thinking he's diabetic (after Bill ends up in the hospital for a blood sugar spike) and will have to have his legs amputated, so Bill saves the doctor the trouble by getting himself a wheelchair.
"Earthly Girls Are Easy": A local paper plans to run a story about Strickland Propane illegally dumping old propane tanks into the river, prompting Hank to make Strickland Propane more environmentally sound.
"Square-Footed Monster": A cheaply-made McMansion is built on Rainey Street thanks to Ted Wassanasong, and, after Kahn finds out that Ted won't be moving in and the house's construction causes problems, the neighbors team up to tear it down during a violent storm.
"Lost in MySpace: Strickland Propane use social networking to boost business, while Dale rents a pig to hunt truffles, loses it, and has to borrow Ladybird in order to track the pig and the truffles down.
"No Bobby Left Behind": Principal Moss puts Bobby and Joseph into a "special needs" class to keep the low-testing students from taking an upcoming standardized test as part of the "No Child Left Behind" program, which irks Hank, who believes his son's mediocre grades are from lack of trying.
"A Bill Full of Dollars": After losing money in the stock market, Peggy, Minh and Dale decide to study an average man (Bill) in order to find out what sells among people like him.
"Straight As An Arrow": Bobby decides to become a member of the Order of the Straight Arrow (even though it was established that Bobby is already a member according to the season one episode "Order of the Straight Arrow"), but the new counselor (voiced by Conan O'Brien's sidekick, Andy Richter) wants the training to be Lighter and Softer to accommodate his sons.
"Lucky See, Monkey Do": Bill goes to Arizona to find a female operator of a fast-food customer service line, while Luanne prepares to have her baby.
"What Happens at the National Propane Gas Convention in Memphis Stays at the National Propane Gas Convention in Memphis": Buck Strickland is invited to the National Propane Gas Convention as the newest inductee into the Propane Hall of Flame, and reunites with his long-lost illegitimate son.
"Master of Puppets": When Hank and Peggy forget to pick up Bobby at the mall, Bobby begins using emotional blackmail to get them to do whatever he wants. Meanwhile, Dale becomes a survivalist by camping in the backyard.
"Bwah My Nose": Hank gets plastic surgery to fix his broken nose, and becomes hung up on his looks.
"Uncool Customer": Peggy befriends one of Arlen's most glamorous and coolest moms in an effort to learn how to be hip. Meanwhile, Bobby joins a cotillion club in order to be a proper gentleman and Hank finds a restaurant that sells delicious meatloaf sandwiches, but has unusual seating arrangements.
"Nancy Does Dallas": Nancy cheats and backstabs her way to being top news anchor, but finds the ride downhill to be a bumpy one — especially when she appears at the Thanksgiving Day parade drunk.
"Born Again on the Fourth of July": A neighborhood war breaks out over who has the best Fourth of July display. Meanwhile, Bobby's lazy, selfish attitude (which includes skipping church and stealing money from Peggy to buy pizza) prompts Lucky to take him to a fire-and-brimstone preacher, who scares Bobby into being righteous.
"Serves Me Right for Giving General George S. Patton the Bathroom Key": Hank receives a special delivery of his recently deceased father's personal belongings, including a list of bizarre final requests — one of which calls for Hank to flush Cotton's ashes in the toilet of a bar once used by General George S. Patton. Meanwhile, Dale and Bill bicker over an empty beer can Dale discarded in Bill's yard.
"Bad News Bill": When Hank tries to be realistic about Bobby's below-average baseball abilities, he is vilified by Bobby's over-enthusiastic Little League coach, who only wants to set Bobby up for disappointment. Meanwhile, Bill is hired as the head of the baseball field's snack counter.
"Manger Baby Einstein": Luanne makes a direct-to-DVD series out of her Manger Baby puppets, but risks selling out when the franchise grows stale and other entertainers line up to take her place. Meanwhile, Dale writes a children's book about a lost bullet finding his way back home.
"Uh-Oh, Canada": Boomhauer vacations in Quebec and meets a beautiful Quebecoise (Quebecker girl). Meanwhile, a Canadian family irks Hank, and Hank doesn't think his neighbors from the North are so great.
"The Boy Can't Help It": Hank and his friends build the ultimate shopping cart for a homeless man, but abandons the project when he fears Bobby is being taken advantage of by high school girls.
"To Sirloin With Love": In the (true) Series Finale, Hank discovers Bobby's talent for distinguishing the quality of beef cuts and puts Bobby on the Heimlich County Community College meat inspection team.
Leftover Episodes That Aired on Adult Swim and Syndication
"The Honeymooners": Hank is shocked when his mother announces she broke up with her Jewish boyfriend (the one she was with on "The Unbearable Lightness of Laying") and is marrying a man she has only known for a few weeks.
"Bill Gathers Moss": Bill decides to get a roommate after realizing how lonely he is (and seeing how much fun having a roommate looks from watching one too many cheesy sitcoms), but Bill's living situation begins to sour when he takes in a homeless Principal Moss (who's been living in the school following his wife's divorce), a former Playboy Bunny, and the Playboy Bunny's Russian boyfriend who wants to run a counterfeit goods ring out of Bill's house.
"When Joseph Met Lori, and Made Out with Her in the Janitor's Closet": Dale commits himself to the mental hospital for refusing to talk to Joseph about sex and girls. Meanwhile, Nancy competes with the other reporters at the news station over who can find the best human interest story.
"Just Another Manic Kahn-Day": Hank makes the dire mistake of telling Kahn not to pick up his medication from the pharmacy — which turn out to be sorely needed to curb Kahn's manic-depressive mood swings. Meanwhile, Bobby tries to find the humor in a "Ray J. Johnson" comedy record after his parents and other adults claim it is funny.