Poster by Tara Billinger
Max Premiere Date: 6/15/2023
Written by: Siena East
The Shadowy Figures plan to make JoanFK a power couple for Operation Spread Eagle, only to learn that Joan and JFK have already broken up hours before. Scudworth and Candide organize a mandatory Sex Ed class in order to try and force them back together, but this leads everyone else to get entangled in the passions of romance instead.
Tropes in this episode:
- "Blackmail" Is Such an Ugly Word: Topher would rather call blackmailing "white leveraging".
- Big Damn Kiss: Frida and Cleo share one after the two finally admit their feelings for each other and their desire to be together (in French, of course).
- Confucius and Harriet share one too, after Confucius reveals his identity as definitelyahotguy69.
- Death as Comedy: Miss Grumbles ends up falling over dead before she can do anything with Abe.
- Educational Song: The Seamen are prone to singing songs about sex education.
- False Teeth Tomfoolery: Miss Grumbles takes out her dentures when she tries to make love to Abe.
- Fan Disservice: When Miss Grumbles is putting on music for sex with Abe, Abe and the audience gets a good look at her ass, and it is bumpy due to cellulite. And this is without getting into how disgusting in general it is that a very elderly woman is making advances towards a teenage boy.
- Fun with Homophones: "The halls are full of seamen!"
- Not So Above It All: Despite how cool and collected Frida carries herself, she is reduced to a stuttering nervous wreck in front of her crush Cleo.
- Official Couple: Harriet and Confucius start dating, meanwhile Frida and Cleo get together at the latter's party and Scudworth's sexing up the school succeeds at hooking Sacajawea and George Washington Carver up.
- A Party, Also Known as an Orgy: Harriet and Confucius hold a Wild Teen Party at the latter's house. Everybody ends up hooking up, to the point every bedroom is in use at once.
- Pink Is Erotic: The special opening is tinted pink to represent the sex ed theme, and the library is painted pink as part of its sexing up.
- Portmanteau Couple Name: In-Universe, Harriet and Confucius call themselves "Harrucius" when advertising their Wild Teen Party.
- Really 700 Years Old: Miss Grumbles claims to have invented the missionary position, and to have had a sexual relationship with Abe's clonefather. She'd obviously have to be very ancient for either of these claims to be true.
- Remember the New Guy?: Shell Silverstein, Joan and JFK's pet tortoise, makes his debut in this episode but his debut is accompanied by a set of photos portraying events from previous episodes with Shell inserted into them.
- Romantic Candlelit Dinner: Candles are placed all over the library as part of Scudworth's plan for romanticizing.
- Reverse Psychology: Candide disapproves of Harriet and Confucius's party over the school's PA, knowing the clones will go anyway to defy authority.
- Shout-Out: The scene where Miss Grumbles sticks up her stocking-wearing leg at Abe is a reference to The Graduate
- Cleo, while flirting with Frida, mentions a french movie about two women with a forbidden love. Later, at Harriet and Confucius's party, the scene where the two admit their feelings for each other acts as a deliberate homage to the film - the scene being displayed in black and white, with Frida and Cleo speaking French and wearing stereotypical French attire.
- Starts with Their Funeral: Played for Laughs. The cold opening begins with Joan and JFK breaking up and a funeral being held for their relationship.
- Sexophone: Scudworth views his playing the sax as an important element of his and Candide's plan. The usual opening is therefore replaced with a saxophone rendition.
- Sex Miseducation Class: Played for laughs. The sex ed teacher, Miss Grumbles, talks about STDs in an oversexualized manner.
- Shipper on Deck: The Board of Shadowy Figures are very supportive of Joan and JFK dating as they're the most successful clones in the program so far. Therefore, Candide and Scudworth conspire to get the two back together after their breakup.
- Abe also appears to support Frida and Cleo, albeit via him teasing Frida over getting nervous around the latter.
- Take That!:
- The Seamen's second song is a jab at the poor state of sex education in the United States, referencing how it's only required in 15 states, and 7 states prevent discussion on queer identities and relationships, or require said discussion to be framed negatively.
- Miss Grumbles' name sounds an awful lot like "Miss Grundy," and she has an inappropriate relationship with her student, which could be a jab at Riverdale for having a Teacher/Student Romance between Archie and Miss Grundy. However, here, the relationship is presented as Squicky in-universe whereas the latter portrayed this scenario as sexy.
- Teacher/Student Romance: Miss Grumbles hits on Abe, despite their massive age gap.
