Bob and Linda try to attend all three kids' holiday performances at the same time.
The Tropes Before Christmas:
- Act of True Love: When Tina realizes neither Bob or Linda can make it to see Louise’s poem reading (Bob tried but failed to reach the library and had to head back to Wagstaff to catch the second half of Gene’s performance while Linda got stuck as a stagehand), she decides to abandon her own performance while having Harley take over her role so one of the Belchers can be there for Louise. Linda didn’t even realize what happened until she realized Harley was the one wearing the star costume.
- Animation Bump: Ms. Bisselbender's last move in the play is briefly more animated than usual.
- All for Nothing: Bob goes through a lot of trouble to get to the library for Louise's poem reading, but once he gets there, he realizes he went to the main branch, which was closed, when he should have gone to the local branch, where the reading is held. He decides to give up and go back to Gene's school recital.
- Big "WHAT?!": Linda belts one out upon realizing Louise actually wanted the family to be there for her poem, and none of them went.
- Call-Back: Ms. Merkin's sister, Sheila, was a minor character in "The Hurt Soccer." While she doesn't appear in person in this episode, there's a brief Imagine Spot / flashback explaining how her appendix burst and how Ms. Merkin was at the hospital with her.
- The Cameo: Tina Fey voices Miss Bisselbender.
- Closest Thing We Got: Miss Bisselbender, who knows nothing about teaching music, has to substitute for Ms. Merkin because she's the only substitute teacher who answered the phone.
- Comically Missing the Point: Tina got the role of a star in the Thundergirls pageant, but Linda is under the assumption Tina is the star of the show. It doesn't help that Harley says she wanted to be the star, which makes Linda believe Harley wants to steal Tina's spotlight.
- Cool Big Sis: Tina deduces Louise submitted her heartfelt poem for the reading and was actually upset no one could attend. When it becomes clear Bob can't make it to the library, Tina leaves her own pageant and arrives just in time for Louise to read her poem.
- Cool Teacher: Ms. Merkin is confirmed as this for Gene, Courtney, and several other students, making her the one teacher at Wagstaff whom kids actually enjoy having and who isn't incompetent.
- Dreadful Musician: Zigzagged all over the place. It's heavily implied that the 6th grade students weren't that great as they couldn't really read the sheet music. However Ms. Merkin was able to come up with a system so they could play decently. But with Ms. Merkin in the hospital and Ms. Bisselbender lacking in any musical skill, the recital doesn't go well at first. However, during an intermission Gene gets an idea to restrict what everyone can play by removing keys from their xylophones, and the recital manages to end on a strong note.
- The Exit Is That Way: Miss Bisselbender winks at Gene as she leaves the auditorium... and then doubles back because she was going the wrong way.
- Floating Advice Reminder: Parodied. When Gene asks himself what would Ms. Merkin do in this situation, the image of Merkin floating next to him simply says "I don't know!"
- Foreshadowing: Harley is introduced in the episode as being jealous of Tina's role, saying she wanted to be the star instead of the candle. Midway through the episode, Harley is seen backstage reciting Tina's lines along with her, showing she knows the star's part well enough to take Tina's place, which she eventually does.
- Inelegant Blubbering: Linda was already distraught at having to choose between Tina and Gene's respective events, so learning that she's also going to have to miss Louise's thing has her slumping over the counter moaning in heartbroken agony, causing some people walking past the restaurant to turn and look at her with Bob trying to convince them that everything's fine and that they don't need to call the police.
- Mama Bear: Linda thinks Harley's out to steal Tina's spotlight as the star (since Linda thinks Tina is the star of the show despite repeatedly being told Tina's a star in the show). When she realizes Harley's inside the star costume, Linda almost throttles her before Harley reveals Tina asked her to switch.Linda: What did you do?! What did you do to Tina?!
- Mondegreen Gag: The cab driver is hard of hearing, so when Bob asks to go to the library, he thinks he meant refinery and starts driving to the other side of town before Bob realizes.
- My God, What Have I Done?: Linda is completely distraught when she realizes all three of the kids have holiday shows happening at the same time on the same night. She was already emotional over the thought of needing to choose between Tina and Gene, but learning Louise's play was the same night completely messes her up. And then Linda really freaks learning Louise actually did want someone to attend her poem reading because she submitted a heartfelt piece and not a joke poem.
- Pet the Dog: Despite getting bitten by a dog, scraping up his knees, and not making it to Louise's program, Bob gets a nice little win in getting to videotape the good half of Gene's recital, especially given how much he failed in recording the kids' shows in "Mom, Lies, and Videotape."
- Playing a Tree: Tina is playing a star on the Thundergirls Christmas pageant, which confuses Linda into thinking she was the star of the play.
- Oh, Crap!: Originally nobody plans to go to Louise's performance, as everyone assumes she doesn't care. Linda is horrified when Tina reveals that Louise actually put in effort.
- Overly Narrow Superlative: As Ms. Bisselbender is leaving the auditorium Gene says, "There goes the best damn substitute music teacher who knows nothing about music that I've ever seen." For what it's worth he's sincere and it kind of fits.
- Ruptured Appendix: Ms. Merkin’s appendix burst right before the concert (and shortly after she had to take her sister to the hospital after her own appendix burst, no less). Because it was too late to reschedule the concert, Wagstaff decided that a substitute has to be called in.
- Silence Is Golden: Aside from a few pauses and Louise's poem, the last few minutes of the episode have no dialogue.
- Shout-Out:
- The Burger of the Day is the "Pineapple on 34th Street".
- When Bob makes it back to the recital the scenario that Doug describes is pretty much what happens in It's A Wonderful LifeDoug: Did you go around and see what life would have been like if you had never been born and someone punched you and threw you out of a bar and then you jumped in a river?Bob: … It was a little like that.
- After their performance goes well, Gene tells Bob he thinks they should tour, "like a jam band, like the Flaming Lips but with xylophones and we're in sixth grade."
- Sustained Misunderstanding: Linda can't grasp that Tina's a star, not the star, in the pageant despite it being pointed out numerous times the roles were assigned randomly and they're all pretty much the same. Everyone is aware that Linda doesn't get it.
- The taxi driver that Bob manages to get a ride from is an even worse example of this: first he thought Bob was a jogger that was just going the same way despite the fact that he was waving his arms and yelling him to stop and then he mishears where Bob wants to go as described above.
- Take a Third Option: Tina abandons her own performance to attend Louise's when it seems like neither Bob or Linda can make it in time.
- Two-Timer Date: Of the "other scheduling conflicts" variety; Bob and Linda, being two people, can't be at all three kids' performances since they all start at the same time, leading to them trying to manage their schedules without excluding a kid. They initially seem to get the hang of it since Louise doesn't care about her performance, meaning Bob and Linda can split duties at Tina and Gene's, only to have to scramble to fit Louise in when Tina figures out Louise does care. Linda is stuck as a stagehand at Tina's performance, leaving Bob to do it. When Bob is stuck filming Gene's performance for Ms. Merkin (who is stuck in the hospital), Tina sacrifices her own performance to attend Louise's.
- What You Are in the Dark: After failing to convince Linda to go to Louise's reading, Tina gave Harley her costume when no one was looking and ran to the library without telling anyone.
