An episode and summary list of episodes from the FOX sitcom, Bob's Burgers
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"Human Flesh": Local burger joint chef and proprietor Bob Belcher tries to quell rumors (started by his CloudCuckoolander daughter, Louise) that his burgers have human meat in them.
"Crawl Space": Bob pretends to be trapped in a crawl space in the wall while Linda's parents visit.
"Sacred Cow": Bob tries to get a documentary film maker to remove the cow he sets outside the restaurant to protest meat eating, but takes to the cow when he takes matters into his own hands.
"Sexy Dance Fighter": Bob's insecure, sexually-blossoming daughter, Tina, develops a crush on her capoeira instructor.
"Hamburger Dinner Theater": Linda and the kids stage a murder mystery that gets a little real when the restaurant is robbed.
"Sheesh! Cab, Bob?": Bob becomes a cab driver to make the extra cash to pay for Tina's 13th birthday.
"Bed and Breakfast": Linda's guests don't want to participate in her bed and breakfast, so Linda invites Teddy to stay as her "perfect guest."
"Art Crawl": It's Bob vs. the city art council when Linda's sister displays her controversial work at Bob's Burgers.
"Spaghetti Western and Meatballs": Bob and Gene bond over a Western exploitation movie series called Banjo, making Louise feel left out.
"Burger Wars": Bob has to drum up business before his rival, Jimmy Pesto, can take over the restaurant's lease.
"Weekend at Mort's": The Belchers move into the mortuary next door while their place is being treated for mold.
"Lobsterfest": Bob feeds the town during a storm that shuts down Lobsterfest. But when the storm passes and festivities resume, Bob, resentful of the annual event, protests it and ends up tainting the town's butter supply and incurring the town's wrath.
"Torpedo": Bob is thrilled when his baseball hero Torpedo Jones takes a liking to his burgers, but has misgivings when he realizes that Torpedo is just using the burger grease to cheat, especially when it causes Gene to cheat in a mascot race.
"The Belchies": The kids explore an abandoned taffy factory on the day of its demolition, while Bob and Linda try to find them before time runs out.
"Bob Day Afternoon: Bill Hader guest stars as a robber named Mickey who's holding everyone hostage at a bank — that's right across the street from Bob's burger joint, meaning an opportunity for media exposure when Bob delivers burgers to the hungry hostages.
"Synchronized Swimming": The kids find a way to escape gym class by doing a bogus independent study of synchronized swimming. Meanwhile, Bob welcomes a new ice cream machine into the restaurant.
"Burgerboss": Bob becomes obsessed with an old-school burger-flipping video game after Jimmy Pesto gets the high score and writes "BOB SUX" on the leader board.
"Food Truckin'": The Belchers beg Bob to buy a food truck to compete against the ones that are stealing his customers.
"Dr. Yap": While Bob is medicated, he mistakes Linda's sister, Gayle, for his wife and kisses her. After she falls for him, Bob seeks help from Dr. Yap.
"Moody Foodie": Bob's restaurant receives a negative review from a vicious food critic (voiced by Patton Oswalt).
"Bad Tina": Jenny Slate (from Saturday Night Live and Marcel the Shell With Shoes On) guest stars as a delinquent girl who befriends Tina and blackmails her into acting bad by threatening to reveal her erotic friend-fiction to her crush.
"Beefsquatch": Bob appears in a cooking segment on a local news morning program, but Gene steals the show with his new character, Beefsquatch.
"Ear-sy Rider": Louise gets her bunny-ear hat stolen by a high school bully, and Bob meets the One-Eyed Snakes, a motorcycle gang, when they visit to honor their fallen leader.
"Full Bars": A Halloween Episode where the kids trick-or-treat at Kingshead Island, a posh neighborhood known for giving kids full-sized candy bars. Meanwhile, Bob and Linda attend Teddy's annual "Black and Orange" party, and Bob gets stuck in his fat, padded costume.
"Bob Fires the Kids": Bob relieves the kids of duty from working the restaurant during the summer (and the kids end up working for two aging hippies who also grow and deal weed), and hires Mickey the bank robber (from "Bob Day Afternoon") as kitchen help.
"Mutiny on the Windbreaker": The Belchers are shanghaied on a cruise ship when the captain requests Bob to be his personal chef. While stuck on the cruise, Gene gets a crush on a talentless ventriloquist's Mae West-inspired manatee puppet, Tina pesters a masseur to give her a massage, and Louise gets cartoonishly-long finger- and toenails at the on-board salon.
"An Indecent Thanksgiving Proposal": The Belchers pretend to be Mr. Fischoeder's family when he tries to have sex with a woman who was his old flame.
"The Deepening": Mr. Fischoeder returns and buys a mechanical shark that was used in a movie shot at Wonder Wharf.
"Tina-Rannosaurus Wrecks": When Tina accidentally totals the family car, she believes that she is jinxed when she and Bob decide to lie to the insurance agent and end up in trouble for insurance fraud.
"The Unbearable Like-Likeness of Gene": Gene tries to break up with his new girlfriend, Courtney, after the family finds her annoying. When he tries to, however, he finds out that her dad writes jingles and he could possibly launch his own career.
"God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins": A bizarre Christmas Episode in which the Belchers help an insane man (voiced by Zach Galifianakis) find his mannequin wife.
"Mother Daughter Laser Razor": Linda fears that her bond with Louise isn't as strong as hers with Tina, so she forces Louise to attend a mother-daughter seminar. Meanwhile, Tina tries asking Bob to teach her how to shave her legs, and ends up going to a spa to get her legs waxed.
"Nude Beach": Darryl and the Belcher kids setup a business for kids to pay to see a good view of the nearby nude beach.
"Broadcast Wagstaff School News": Tina vows to find a "mad pooper" running rampant at the children's school after getting fired from the school news club.
"My Fuzzy Valentine": Bob tries to sweeten Linda's Valentine's Day with a heart-shaped pancake, but when that doesn't stack up, the kids convince him to let them skip school and help him find the perfect gift for the holiday.
"Lindapendant Woman": Linda quits and takes a job at a grocery store, leaving Bob to run the place (poorly) on his own.
"O.T.: The Outside Toilet": In a parody of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, Gene finds a talking toilet (voiced by an uncredited Jon Hamm) and hides it from authorities who want it.
"Topsy": Louise tries to take down her Thomas Edison-obsessed science teacher by recreating the Topsy incident (the incident in which Thomas Edison electrocuted an elephant) using Gene and Tina.
"Two For Tina": Tina must choose between her crush, Jimmy, Jr., and a ballet dancer as her date for an upcoming dance.
"It Snakes a Village": The family goes to Florida to visit Linda's parents, but they discover they live in a swinger senior home. Meanwhile, the kids try to track down a legendary python.
"Family Fracas": The Belcher family competes against the Pesto family in a game show to win a new minivan after the family car breaks down.
"The Kids Run the Restaurant": While Bob is sent to the hospital for freaking out over the blood spurting from a small cut on his hand, the kids are left to manage the restaurant — with disastrous results.
"Boyz 4 Now": Tina and Louise go to a boy band concert, where Louise panics when she realizes that she may have a crush on one of the members. Meanwhile, Bob and Linda help Gene win a tablescaping contest.
"Carpe Museum": Bob chaperones a school trip to the museum and experiences some father-daughter bonding with Louise. Meanwhile, Gene and his gang are on the lookout for exhibits with busts (as in "breasts," not the kind that are sculpted out of stone), and, on the museum steps, Linda offers her distinctive chanting talents to striking workers.
"The Unnatural": Gene goes to a baseball camp that turns out to be a scam. Meanwhile, Bob tries to garner more customers with an espresso maker, but Tina ends up addicted to espresso and Linda sells the machine so she can pay for Gene to go to baseball camp.
"A River Runs Through Bob": The Belchers go on a wilderness survival trip.
"Fort Night": The Belcher kids, the Pesto twins, and Darryl (DRL, from "Burgerboss") are trapped in their cardboard fort on Halloween night by a psycho girl in a bunny suit.
"Seaplane!": Linda signs up for flying lessons when she gets bored with Bob's attempts at Date Night. Bob won't join her, so she finds herself targeted by a most charming pilot known as "Upskirt Kurt".
"My Big Fat Greek Bob": Bob gets a temporary gig as a cook at an "underdog" frat house and learns that he fits right in. Shenanigans ensue when he and the other fraternity brothers get into a college prank war involving the house's most famous alumnus, Dr. Yap
"Turkey In A Can": Bob tries to do a three day brine on his thanksgiving turkey, but someone keeps putting the turkey in the toilet and threatens to cancel Thanksgiving if no one fesses up.
"Purple Rain-Union": Linda gets her old band, The Ta-Ta's, back together to perform at her school reunion.
"Christmas in A Car": The Belchers go looking for a last-minute Christmas tree and find themselves being followed by a giant candy cane-shaped truck. Meanwhile, Teddy gets trapped in the kids' Santa trap (read: a booby-trapped refrigerator).
"Slumber Party": Linda invites a group of girls from Lousie's class against her will over for a sleepover.
"Presto Tina-O": Tina works as Jimmy Junior's magician's assistant, but her plans for romance turn sour after he fires her for trying to help improve his show and enters the same competition as him to get even. An obnoxious magician makes Bob the butt of his tricks.
"Easy Commercial Easy Go-Mercial": Bob throws all his savings into making a tv spot to promote his superbowl party to compete with Jimmy Pesto's.
"The Frond Files": During an open house night at school, Mr. Frond shows Bob and Linda three stories from Louise, Gene, and Tina he deems offensive because they depict him as a villain.
"Mazel-Tina": Although Tina isn't invited to Tammy's bat mitzvah, she ends up at the party because the Belchers have been hired to cater. In Tina's quest to meet boys from other schools, Tammy and Louise end up missing, leaving Tina the center of attention.
"Uncle Teddy": Teddy is chosen to babysit the kids while Bob and Linda go to a burger convention.
"The Kids Rob a Train": Gene, Louise, Tina, and Regular-Sized Rudy plot to rob a wine train of its fancy chocolate while Bob duels with a wine snob.
"I Get Psychic Out of You": The kids delude Linda into thinking she's psychic.
"The Equestrinauts": In an episode that parodies My Little Pony and the brony fandomnote written by Dan Mintz (the voice of Tina Belcher), Tina goes to her first convention for her favorite cartoon, The Equestrinauts, only to contend with its infamous periphery demographic (middle-aged men), including a member who cheats Tina out of a rare pony toy.
"Ambergris": During a beach trip, the kids find a chunk of ambergris (an extremely valuable, but highly illegal by-product of whale excrement) and try to make a profit off it. Meanwhile, Linda and Bob deal with their unstable landlord as he hires his brother to build them a new bathroom.
"The Kids Run Away": Upon learning that she has a cavity and needs a filling, Louise runs away from the dentist's office and seeks refuge at Aunt Gail's. When Louise refuses to go home, Linda sends Tina and Gene to join her and bets her that she won't last the weekend with Aunt Gail's craziness.
"Gene It On": Gene is picked to be on the cheerleading squad, while Tina must depend on Louise to be her translator when Tina bites her tongue and can't speak coherently.
"Wharf Horse": Motivated by the promise of a new beachside burger joint and the money to be made from it, Bob conspires with Felix to convince Mr. Fischoeder to sell Wonder Wharf. Meanwhile, Tina protests the destruction of the wharf's carousel by chaining herself to it.
"World Wharf II: The Wharfening": In the thrilling conclusion to "Wharf Horse," Felix puts Bob and Mr. Fischoeder in danger, and Linda and the children must hustle to the rescue.