- Date First Aired: 23/01/2014
Garth is showing Sharon and Tracey around his new idea - Stubbies, Woodford's next dining sensation. However, it's still in the planning details. Dorien comes in, having met a man named Stanley at one of the nearby retirement communities. A man named Robin, who's Tracey's boss, gives out the refurbing costs, with the man considering cutting the costs if Tracey goes out with a drink with him, an offer which she accepts. During this, his daughter, Rosie, ends up falling in love with Garth.
Everyone heads out for a night out and falls in love whilst Sharon is left alone. She is soon shocked by a man wearing a pig mask, who turns out to be Lenny. The two reminisce and they start falling in love as well. Garth meanwhile is having trouble with his restaurant, so he considers a pop-up. In their house.
Dorien decides to take Stanley back to the house, whilst Tracey has sex with Robin. As the restaurant is set up, Rosie tries to have sex with Travis, but he turns her down. Things get worse when Lenny admits that he hasn't abandoned his burglarizing ways. Dorien tries to purpose marriage but Stanley reveals that he's engaged to another man named Brendan. On the bright side, Robin and Tracey are still together. Well, until Travis notes that she looks a lot like Rosie's mum.
Tropes in this episode:
- Age-Gap Romance: Dorien (who is somewhere between her 60s and 70s) has one with the nonagenarian Stanley.
- Auto Erotica: According to Sharon, all of Dorien's dates end with one foot through the car window and one through the sunroof.
- Brandishment Bluff: When Lenny comes into the sisters' house, Sharon tries to warn him off by claiming to have a vicious dog named Dorien.
- Cheating with the Milkman: According to Robin, Jan, his wife, ran off with the milkman, although it's Subverted when he reveals that the man in question was actually the owner of the dairy - he just wanted to make her look more like a scrubber.
- Gold Digger: Dorien considers marrying Stanley for his money.Dorien: Stanley was returning from a colonic-irrigation session. We got chatting...Sharon: And you found out he was loaded so you thought you'd clean him out in your own way.Dorien: I've tried getting by on my World of Quid salary, but it doesn't work for me. I need money - lots of it, and if I can't earn it, I will marry it.
- Identical Stranger: Jan, Robin's wife, is the spitting image of Tracey, which is one of the reasons why Robin dates her.
- Malevolent Masked Man: Lenny is introduced in this episode wearing a pig's mask whilst attempting to steal from Tracey's house.
- New Old Flame: Lenny has never been mentioned before the events of the episode, although Sharon and him apparently used to go out during the time when Darryl and Tracey were still Happily Married and Darryl wasn't in prison.
- "No Peeking!" Request: Sharon is asked to not look by Tracey as they guide her into Garth's latest idea.
- Of Course I'm Not a Virgin: Rosie asks Travis if he's a virgin when she wants to have sex with him. His response is simply a "No".
- Old Flame: Sharon's never-before mentioned old flame Lenny shows up and rekindles his relationship with Sharon over the course of the episode, although it ends when he's unwilling to leave behind his robbing ways.
- One-Shot Character: Stanley Barrington Court III, Robin, Rosie, and Brendan.
- Operation: Jealousy: The entire reason that Stanley dated Dorien in the first place was to make Brendan jealous.
- Preppy Name: Stanley Barrington Court III, who indeed has a lot of money.
- Rejected Marriage Proposal: Dorien pops the question to Stanley. However, Stanley turns her down, revealing that he's engaged to a man named Brendan.
- Replacement Goldfish: When Jan runs off with the owner of a dairy, Robin tries to pursue a relationship with the very similar-looking Tracey.
- Sleeping with the Boss: Tracey pursues a relationship and has sex with her boss Robin.
- Shout-Out: Sharon intends to watch Saw and Saw II whilst she's on her own.
- Show Within a Show: Amongst the movies that Sharon intends to watch whilst she's alone includes the fictional movie Halloween Slashers: The Return.
- Speak in Unison: Sharon and Dorien both say "Do it." when asking Tracey whether she had sex with Robin.
- Sticky Fingers: Lenny has a history of robbery, with Sharon helping t cover his stealing from the fag machines during Tracey and Darryl's dates. It's what ends the relationship at the end of the episode as well when he is caught giving a gift he stole to Sharon.
- Titled After the Song: The name of the episode is a reference to The Rolling Stones song "Hearts For Sale".
- The Voiceless: Stanley never communicates through anything more than a whisper, thanks to his advanced age.
- Wrong-Name Outburst: Robin accidentally calls Tracey "Jan" at the end of their date, an early sign that he sees Tracey as a Replacement Goldfish for his ex-wife.
