Title: Hot Dogs
Directed by: Lee Bernhardi
Written by: Danny Arnold, Chris Hayward, and Arne Sultan (story), Tony Sheehan (teleplay)
Air Date: December 11, 1975
Previous: Fish
Next: Protection
Guest Starring: James Gregory, Jonelle Allen, Nellie Bellflower, David Lander, Howard Honig
"Hot Dogs" is the 13th episode of the second season of Barney Miller.
Two lady cops, Turner and Carney, come barreling in to the squad room with David Gordon, a drug dealer (David L. Lander, who would soon be Squiggy on Laverne & Shirley) in cuffs. This is a surprise, especially to Barney, who has no idea who they are. They aren't even detectives! Turner and Carney are uniformed officers with the 12th Precinct who have grown impatient with the tedious duties of patrolmen and who don't think that NYPD brass are giving them a fair shot as promotion, because they're women. So they organized a bust and arrested a drug dealer on their own. This makes a lot of people angry, both NYPD command as well as Chano, who had his own investigation going and was hoping to nail Gordon's suppliers.
Inspector Luger (James Gregory) is sent over from Division to deal with Turner and Carney, and he's his usual racist, sexist self. Meanwhile, a Mr. Victor comes into the squad room and reports his wife missing. Wojo asks for a picture so he can print up fliers, and Mr. Victor provides a framed picture—of Jean Harlow. And in personal news, Fish's doctor says he needs to lose 15 pounds.
Tropes:
- And Starring: James Gregory gets his usual "Special Guest Star" credit.
- Bait-and-Switch: Mr. Victor says that his wife would never have gone out on her own because Monday night is their "special night". Their special night to watch TV, that is.
- Be Careful What You Wish For: Turner and Carney said that they just wanted to make an impression, that they wanted "someone from Division to notice us." Barney tells them that someone from Division has noticed them. (It's Luger, who arrives soon after to clean up the mess.)
- Cowboy Cop: A rare example of the woman Cowboy Cop, in the persons of Turner and Carney, uniforms who did a drug bust on their own initiative.
- Deliberate Values Dissonance: Luger, the cartoon of old-school bigoted cops, is even worse than usual in this episode, ranting about how women shouldn't be cops and how it makes his skin crawl.
- Did You Just Have Sex?: Fish, of all people! Yemana tells Fish that the best way to lose weight is sex. Fish comes in a week later unusually chipper, and Yemana says "He looks like he took my advice!" Fish then says he can't lose any more weight because it will get Bernice even more turned on.
- Reassigned to Antarctica: Luger says that as punishment Turner and Carney are going to get transferred to "the other side of Staten Island." Turner bursts into tears, sobbing "I don't want to go to Staten Island!" It turns out that Luger can't deal with a crying woman, so he lets Turner and Carney off the hook.
- The Reveal: Wojo takes Mr. Victor's report about his missing wife and asks for a picture. Mr. Victor comes back with the picture for Wojo to use in a flier. Wojo looks at the picture, thinks it looks familiar, and shows it to Fish, who identifies the person in the photo as Jean Harlow, dead for 38 years.
- Shout-Out
- Whatever delusional condition Mr. Victor has, has him thinking that Jean Harlow is his wife. He also provides pictures of his two kids, Freddie Bartholemew and Mickey Rooney.
- Mr. Victor and his wife like to watch All in the Family, Maude, Rhoda, and Phylllis.
- You're Cute When You're Angry: Chano is beside himself after Turner and Carney's bust blows up his own investigation. He lets loose on a longer-than-usual string of angry Spanish, which draws Turner's interest.Turner: My goodness, you Latins are pretty when you get mad.
