Quotes / Theory of Narrative Causality

"Stories are important. People think that stories are shaped by people. In fact, it's the other way round. Stories... have evolved... The strongest have survived, and they have grown fat... Stories etch grooves deep enough for people to follow... A thousand wolves have eaten grandmother, a thousand princesses have been kissed... Stories don't care who takes part in them. All that matters is that the story gets told, that the story repeats."

"And once again, Probability proves itself willing to sneak into a back alley and service Drama as would a copper-piece harlot."
Vaarsuvius, The Order of the Stick

"Why? Because the plot says so!"

Thing: Reed—you spoke of transmutations. Can you restore to me my humanity? I have been a monster for too long.
Richard Reed: In truth, I do not know, my friend. The natural sciences say yes, a cure is possible. But the laws of story suggest that no cure can last for very long, Benjamin. For in the end, alas, you are so much more interesting and satisfying as you are.

"Because I lost. Because as the villain of a children's story, that is all that I can do."

House: So... what "Force" is protecting him? If you start quoting Lucas, I'm going to get the idiot in the cowboy hat to shoot you. A lot.
The Tenth Doctor: Oh, that? No, it's far greater than even a science-fiction thingamabob.
House: ...well?
The Tenth Doctor: It's Narrative Convenience.
House: ...I really hate you.

Jareth: What are you doing here?
Javert: Good question. Why are we always loitering here, James?
James: I dunno. 'Coz Erik has the biggest TV set?
Jareth: Narrative Convenience.
James: Or that. ...Beer?

"Our first task is to find a ship to fly us off Earth and the main plot reason for this given to this seems to be: 'So that we can continue with this video game what we are playing.'"

SS Officer #1: Have you noticed how we did really really well at the start of the war, and the Allies nearly lost, but now things seem to be going a lot better for them?
SS Officer #2: Yeah.
SS Officer #1: Well... have you ever seen a film?
SS Officer #2: What's your point?
SS Officer #1: Well, I've never seen a film where the goodies start off incredibly successfully, really nearly achieve their goals, then the baddies come back strongly but the goodies still eventually win. Whereas I have seen a lot of films where the baddies nearly win at the beginning but then the goodies come back strongly and eventually win. I'm just increasingly uncomfortable about our place in the narrative structure of this war.
—Two SS officers begin to worry that they might be on the wrong side of history, That Mitchell and Webb Sound