"Three words: Sneak Attack, Bitch!"
— Haley Starshine
"Who cares how many people I have to kill?! I can always make more in my tummy!"
— Kazumi Kato
"I tell you, nobody around here respects my schedule. Do you think crushing an entire civilization beneath our heels 'just happens'?
It's all fun and games for them, but I'm the one who has to make the magical lightning-powered trains run on time."
"not nale, not-nale. thog help nale nail not-nale, not nale. and thog knot not-nale while nale nail not-nale. nale, not not-nale, now nail not-nale by leaving not-nale, not nale, in jail."
— Thog, #367
"Your broken corpses will taste delicious lightly seasoned with nutmeg!"
— Monster in the Darkness
"Humans... I've come to expect your lack of respect for the lives of MY people, but I am still continually amazed at how little you value those of your own.
You're nothing but savages, amoral savages."
"I am somewhat preoccupied with telling the laws of physics to shut up and sit down."
"Sacrificing minions: Is there any problem it can't solve?"
"As the size of an explosion increases, the number of social situations it is incapable of solving approaches zero."
"I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!"
— Belkar Bitterleaf
"Solve a man's problems with violence, help him for a day. Teach a man to solve his problems with violence, help him for a lifetime!"
— Belkar Bitterleaf
"Disintegrate. Gust of wind. Now can we please get back to saving the world?"
O buddy Roy, the Lich, the Lich came calling
From round to round and in the air this day,
And though we have all found ourselves a'falling,
'Tis you, 'tis you went splat and we're OK.
But come ye back when Raise Dead has been cast
After cash for Diamond Dust we pool,
'Cause we'll be here tomorrow after breakfast,
O buddy Roy, O buddy Roy, you're pretty cool.
But if tomorrow, it turns out we got smacked down
If we're dead, our hit points worn away,
Then sorry dude, you won't be coming back now;
One death sucks, but six spells T-P-K.
I won't see you in the afterlife in that case
Because you're Lawful, and Chaotic Good am I
And I don't think they'll let me hang at your place.
O buddy Roy, O buddy Roy, why did you die?
— Elan, "O Buddy Roy requiem"
Vaarsuvius: Fascinating. Durkon, I have just now formulated a theory that encompasses both Nale's most likely method of engagement and the most suitable response on our part.
Durkon: ...THA TREES BE ATTACKIN'!! RUN FER YER LIVES!!!
Vaarsuvius: Ah, I see you have already grasped the core principles of my theory.
Elan: (being chased by Tarquin's guards) Man! Is having someone who points out the clichés in all your plans always this annoying?
Haley: I love you, so I'm not going to answer that.
"Beating heart... breathing lungs... positive hit point total... I'M BACK IN THE GAME!"
— Roy Greenhilt
Durkon: ...So that explains why ye just Charmed a muskrat inta humpin' Belkar's bare feet.
Vaarsuvius: Hmm? Oh no, that is merely for my own personal amusement.
Belkar: What the— Arrgh! Get off! Wild Empathy Check! WILD EMPATHY CHECK!!!
O-Chul: (in prisoner's underwear, having been imprisoned and tortured for months and put through death traps for Xykon's amusement, hit by Disintegrate and Meteor Swarm and entirely unarmed, facing an Epic-levelled Lich Sorcerer) FOR AZURE CITY!!
Xykon: Wow. You've got some +5 Holy Cojones on you, paladin, I'll give you that.