And I've never hoist the mainstay,
and I never swabbed the poop deck,
and I never veered to starboard 'cuz I never sail at all!
And I've never walked a gangplank,
and I've never owned a parrot,
and I've never been to Boston in the fall!
Cuz we're the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything,
we just stay at home and lie around!
And if you ask us to do anything,
We'll just tell you, "We don't do anything!"
You say you're nasty pirates
Scheming, thieving, bad bushwhackers?
From what I've seen I tell you
You're not pirates! You're just slackers!
— Guybrush Threepwood, The Curse of Monkey Island, "A Pirate I Was Meant to Be"
Exploring the seas, and home renovation
Feather collecting and art ecollection
We're the assassins and we're here to stay!
(We might have to phase out the stabbing, OK?)
On Mondays, I never go to work
On Tuesdays, I stay at home
On Wednesdays, I never feel inclined
Work is the last thing on my mind
On Thursdays, it's a holiday!
And Fridays I detest
Oh, it's much too late on a Saturday
And Sunday is the day of rest
—They Might Be Giants, "Seven Days of the Week (I Never Go to Work)"
Whatever happened to "we rape, we pillage"?
— Jason, The Ice Pirates
Sci-fi Greg: Uh, Cheerleader, shouldn't you be out, ehhhhh, leading cheers?
Cheerleader: No, I'm more a cheerleader in the way I dress, and in the way I treat other girls.
"Yes, your job, which we'll never explain or see you do, makes much less than his job, which we'll never explain or see him do."
Shirahoshi: "But if you're a pirate, Luffy... Then aren't you a bad person?"